Saturday, August 15, 2009

The vioce from beyond the walls and razorwire

Those who know me, know that one of my best friend's lives on death row. My very first post was about a New Years visit I had with him last year entitled New Years in prison and the food was real good... Anyone who is interested, I have one other blog post about him called: Jailhouse Blog

I thought it was a great idea to start him his own blog, and as far as I knew there were no rules against it. (Finally-- an advantage to the slow wheels of bureaucracy!) I wanted people to see him as I did. To raise awareness of what we are doing in our "justice system". We began his blog earlier this year, it's called Life in Xanadu, On his blog, he calls himself BD. for security reasons he is not able to communicate with complete abandon about who he his, his life and how he got where he is. Some things will have to remain mysterious.

BD is one of the most incredible people I have ever met. EVER. He has had the most insane and intense life imaginable. Still, he is kind patient, and loving and strives every day to learn and make a difference in any way he can. He has more self control than anyone I've ever met. His instincts are keen and he can discern instantly what is ok and what is not and adjust his behavior accordingly. A skill I've been working on most of my life with little success. (I am over emotional and therefore reactionary) BD is strong inside and out. He is in great physical and spiritual shape. He has unbelievable insight into the universal soul. He is my best friend, my counselor and my chosen brother. I pray that he gets released... someday. Nobody deserves it more.

I can go on and on like this, but I won't. What I really came here to say today is that he is going to send me a new post for his blog next week. I was hoping his blog would show more of HIM as his letters and writing do.... I would like the world to relate to him, to see him as HUMAN. To understand that these are not monsters we are housing and mistreating, they are actual people. He has chosen to focus more on Capital Punishment issues, and that makes perfect sense. I support that in every way I can. As time goes on, I hope his readers will get more glimpses into his true core. His beautiful mind and spirit. He shows me everyday, just by being who he is how sacred life is, and I find myself more human and grateful because of it. You will too.
Keep your eye on:


May said...

I have immensely enjoyed the posts you've written about BD. I have a friend who used to email me copies of letters of a friend he had on "the inside" and they were always so fascinating and heartbreaking and inspiring, all at the same time. Thank you for sharing this with us and for helping him set up his own blog. I'll be sure to check it out!
(Oh, and PF- I got your messages yesterday and didn't call back because you said you got it covered, but thanks for thinking of me!)

Petit fleur said...

Thank you May.

You know, I've tried to get my friends interested in BD and get to know him, but none of them really responded as I thought they might.

If you would like to meet him, I can have him add your name to his visiting list, and you can come out there with me some Sunday. (No pressure, it just sounded like you might be interested.) It is a fascinating and scary world. Oddly, the scary part is not the inmates, it's the STATE.

Well, I don't want to get into all that, but just know that if you ever want to visit death row, you can. :-) Happy thoughts! heheh!

Oh, and no worries bout the babysitting thing. It was kind of a cluster f=== on my part. And I really didn't follow up with folks as i should have so...bla bla!

Hope you are making the most of this soggy weekend!
xo pf

Ms. Moon said...

Ms. Fleur- Sarah brought Harley over for some chicken feeding. It was great fun. Red out out of his hand and he liked that. He called her Mrs. Red.
Keep reporting.

erin said...

Wow. That is very secretive. One can't help but wonder what he did...I'm guessing you feel he was wrongly imprisoned.

I'll have to check out the blog!

Petit fleur said...

Hey Erin,

He was accused of murder, and yes, he was wrongly accused in my opinion. But more importantly, the system failed him over and over and over. That is the real problem with the system. It is NOT required to acknowledge or correct it's mistakes. Regardless of what anyone thinks. That is the truth.

AND the few times the system is backed to the wall and has to grant a prisoner clemency, as in the case of Juan Melendez, (you can google him if you want), they do not apologize or help that person in any way. They gave him a hundred dollars and sent him on his way after being wrongly imprisoned for 17 years. Many of the men on the row have been there at least that long or longer.

Petit fleur said...


Yea,I know. Sarah is wonderful with him. I feel better now leaving him in her hands. It was just scary letting go that first time. I feel good knowing that you all and Linda and Paul are nearby. The very first time, that was not the case and it seemed insane to leave a 12 year old and a 3 year old out here in the boonies alone! Anyway, they had a fantastic time together.

As they were leaving to go to your house Harley was skipping through the house singing " We're going to feed the chickeeeens! We're going to feed the chickeeena!" (To the tune of nanny boo boo) Very cute!

Anonymous said...

Dear PF, I really appreciate the sincerity and openness with which you have shared your experience of your friend. I did read ALL of his posts in the same sitting, and will respond once I have a chance to digest what he wrote. It's a very complex issue. I bet your appreciation of one another is very mutual. And, his blog's issue is a nice overlay and twist to add to my thoughts on Dexter and development. Could I be opposed to capital punishment (which I am, as I'm sure you've guessed) and still have a sense of empathy for a TV character that kills other killers? I think the answer is yes, but it takes a few reels to hold both things.

Petit fleur said...


Thanks for your reply. Yes, it is a conundrum...

For me, what it comes down to what I believe in. I can have sympathy for a serial killer without sanctioning premeditated killing behavior... whether it is the state or anyone else.

On the flip side, if anyone hurt my child, I would likely attack them with everything I had in me. Right or wrong.

As animals, we have an instinctive natural reaction to certain severe stimuli. Sometimes that behavior is severely violent, I'm just not someone who believes in our culture's methods of controlling or discouraging that behavior.