Wednesday, October 27, 2010

YOO HOO! (An encounter with my brother's ghost)

I recently took a poll to see what anyone wanted to hear about on my blog since I am mostly dazed and confused and cannot concentrate worth a damn lately.  The overwhelming majority of you wanted to hear the story about my brother's ghost.  So, I will tell it.  It does need a little background for it to have the full impact, so I'll give that to you briefly.  Also, I did email many people in my family about it the night it happened because I couldn't sleep.  Since it is a really strong part of the punch for me, I left it in there.  I colored the text purple so that it wouldn't be too confusing what with changing voices and all...  I thought it would make more sense to you that way.  Also, I changed most of the names in the story except my brother's. (Not that it matters, but...)  Ok, so here goes...

BACKSTORY-- .My family has been semi famous in certain circles for a very long time... Not so much anymore because all of the famous ones have died and not many people remember them anymore, unless you go to S. Florida.  My dad was a musician.  He and my uncle had a musical comedy trio that toured for years and some TV shows like, the Mike Douglas show and etc... WAAAY back in the day.  They finally settled in S FL to raise their fams and quit touring.  They were quite the big deal in Miami Beach for years.  Oddly I googled them one evening because I was missing them, and I found a blog post about one of their albums and re-posted it HERE on my blog back in May.   ---  I have 3 brothers.  One of whom passed away from pancreatic cancer back in '99.  I moved back down to S FL at that time to help him through the chemo  and to be closer to him.  Ray was also VERY famous or infamous however you see it, in S. FL because he wrote for the Ft. Lauderdale News for decades.  He started out in sports, then entertainment and finally did a LifeStyle column 3 days a week.  He was well loved and when he became sick, we could hardly keep up with all the mail and notices of prayer circles and well wishes and stories of how his writing has helped in some way or has been a big part of (insert person)'s life for  so many years, ect...Ok, that's the short version, but it's enough to make the story I'm about to tell you make sense.

Now, more recently, my husband, Marc, got a job with our local PD's office.  He adores it.  It is a laid back department and most, if not all of the people who work there are VERY liberal, like minded and super cool.  (Lots of old hippies, you get the picture?)  The people who work at this office have a tradition of getting together once a month on the Friday just prior to payday, they call it Final Friday  (As you may recall, I recent'y blogged about that too: FINAL FRIDAY). It's a family affair, and it is also where I felt my brother's presence.  This is where the actual story takes place.

FLASH FORWARD TO THE FF PARTY: Not long after we arrived, I moved outside to the porch area and took a seat.  Griffin was playing with other kiddos, Marc was talking (I know, shocker!) and I was just enjoying the background noises and a cold beer on my own. Most of the others people were migrating through the porch area between smoking outside, and going inside to munch or get cooled off  So, I'm sitting there, when this family arrives.  One of the attorneys, we'll call her Bonnie, brought her parents.  Her mom walked onto the porch drinking a Yoo Hoo.... As soon as I saw the Yoo Hoo bottle, I could hear my brother Ray saying "I could really suck the balls off a Yoo hoo right now"! (He said this when he was undergoing chemo for Pancreatic cancer in '99)  I sort of snickered to myself at this memory, because, well, it was so classic Ray...  Anyway, the lady, who we will call Martha, sat in the chair nearest me, Yoo hoo in hand, so naturally we struck up a conversation. 

I thought about saying how my brother used to like those... or whatever, but I didn't want explain that my brother was deceased and go through all that stuff, I mean, we just met.  So I just said something like Wow, Yoo hoo, don't see those much anymore.  I used to love that stuff"!   We chatted about Yoo hoo for a while, then we moved on to other topics.  She and her hub are travelling the US in their car, so they have lots of great stories about quirky stuff they've seen and great food they've eaten along the way.  While we're chatting away, and Martha's daughter, Bonnie, (the attorney), comes by and tells us of a "dress malfunction" she's just had.  I won't go into it, but it was kind of funny... reminded me of times it's happened to me...  All of a sudden Bonnie looks over at me and she says, "Did you used to work at CABO'S? (A local restaurant)  "Yes I did I said.  Followed by my usueal apology: "Please tell me I wasn't mean to you! I was in a very bad mood for about 10 years once and I could be pretty grouchy back then".  She says:  "No no no, I get it now, you're Ray Recchi's sister"!  I was like HOLY SHIT! in my mind anyway...  How does Cabo's equate with being Ray's sister?  And who in the hell was she and how did she know this???  Hmmmmmm...?  So, she tells me that her brother Michael used to be good friends with my nephew (Ray's son), and they were in gifted together...  Wow, I know most of my nephew's friends, but I'm not coming up with a Micheal...  I racked my pea brain trying to think of who this kid was/is, and I could NOT for the life of me remember him. sigh.

So, of course they asked about Joe and the rest of the fam, etc... then Martha told me that she raised her children as a single parent, and that she really appreciated the way Ray took an interest in Micheal.. and that he was really good to him.  She was tearing up as she said this.  Martha, Pat's hub and Tracey all expressed to me how much they loved Ray and missed him.  Yea, me too.  ME TOO!  They began to look at me differently, like I was some one really dear and special, like an old friend they just recognized.  It was sort of sweet.

So, as per usual, I get home,  and I'm lying in bed thinking about the whole thing and how odd it all was.... and it hit me... she was talking about MIKE!!!  DOH!  I can't believe I didn't put that together, Micheal/Mike, but I did not.  So, I feel a little badly that they think I don't remember Mike, because I so do!  I'm just dull with connecting the dots somehow. 

Now, you must realize that I come from pretty pragmatic stock, science is king kind of thing.  There's been really no belief, religion or talk about anything that cannot be proven scientifically... but over the years, I've changed. I do believe that God/the Universe AND the dead are real and they do speak to us... or they speak anyway. Only they use symbols or pictures/images, like the subconscious,. This makes the "Yoohoo"  really important in my book.  There were many cosmic messages for me from that little encounter.... and I thought there maybe one or two for some of you also.  Maybe for you, the message is just "YOO HOO"! or "Hello, I'm thinking of you"  or maybe it is deeper.  It's always very individual.  One of the messages that I always get when someone remembers Ray or my dad or the uncs is:  "Remember who you are, where you come from and the people you are part of, whose blood runs in your veins too".  This is always an especially good message when I'm feeling insignificant and unmotivated or need to cowboy up.  It makes me remember all the intense passion and fire, and smarts and tenacity, and creativity and talent that runs in our family.  How fully they lived and still do...and what a strong impact they made in the lives of others.  Suddenly I feel a surge of energy running through me, and I'm proud to be me and part of them, and this, and you.  

The thing is that I don't think the message was just for me.  It was coming through me, or to me, to take what I need and to pass on to everyone else so they can get what they need.    So, take whatever you want from it, but if nothing else, Ray told me to give everyone a big"YOOHOO"!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Too many things

I've known for years that I should carry around a tape recorder.  Just a little one that I can use to record my thoughts and  ideas as they occur to me.  I did for a few days once, but I'm short on discipline and probably a little insane. (You know, "doing the same behaviors and expecting a different result" thing.) I  get all these feelings and thoughts about all manner of topics, I'd like to express or speak out about or muse about or rant about or simply share or get feedback about... but it seems that life just travels too quickly for me.

I'm an oddball.  A late in life child, my mind caught between nostalgia and cultural/familial closeness of years gone by, juxtaposed with the surrealism and insane pace of living now. A gypsy trapped in suburbia.  That is the best way I can describe it.

I do get these fabulous ideas for projects and social evolution... acorns of wisdom whiz at me from the Oaks, konking me in the head, or through the silver thread of dreams or when I'm driving or listening to my son prattle about something.  Times when there is no pen or paper at hand.  And so, I forget.  This is nothing new.  My kind have been doing this since we wore bones in our hair, that doesn't make it any less frustrating.

Well, the same goes for my posting.  I have a laundry list of subjects, events, anecdotes, adventures, happenings, ideas, etc... that I've wanted to post about.  Only, at the end of the day, I'm tired, and/or I've forgotten, or I'm sick or I realize I haven't actually spoken more than 3 words to my own husband in days.... and then it gets pushed back near the bottom of the list again.  Then, time goes on, more stuff occurs that I want to write about, but when I find the time, I'm too clogged up with thoughts to flush anything out.  My brain shuts down and, more frustration.

So, this post is a list about what I want to post about.  If there is anything that appeals to you, please leave a note in the comments and I will get to those first. By writing things down, I will not forget.  By not having to choose now, I buy myself some more time.  By getting feedback, I get more fun out of it and hopefully you get to hear about what you prefer.  Win - win?

Ok, here's my list:
  • Harleyisms
  • Visitation from my brother's ghost
  • Child mental health scare
  • Getting my business going  AKA Getting out of my way

---LIST TIME OUT.... See, now I'm going blank again..  This is so UN-FAIR!!

     -----LIST RESUMED-----

  • Gospel according to Judas
  • Gospel according to Mary (Magdelene)
  • Joseph Campbell, Ram Dass and Carl Jung
  • Funky dreams about the center.
  • Prayer mantraing and prayerful meditation
  • What's up with all the dead Fox and Owls?
  • The Great Turtle Rescue!
  • Garage Sale Madness

There are more, but this is it for now.  Please let me know if any of these appeal more than the others.
Cheers..... and thanks for all the fish.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


In my last post I called the party a First Friday party.  In reality it is called Final Friday.

I feel like a small wrong has been made right now.

I had a sort of oddball synchronistic experience there.... I've been meaning to post about it, but I've not been in the mood, and now I'm sick.

I will though.  I will. Eventually.
Ah choo!

Friday, October 1, 2010

First Friday

I'm not sure why, but this clip cracks me up.

Why did I post it? Well, I will tell you.  The fam is attending it's first office party for Marc's new job at the local PD's office this evening.  I'm sure it will not be nearly as whimsy and exciting as this clip, but it will be WAY more fun than the office parties I remember from the local Alcohol and Drug Abuse Association that I used to work for.  (DAMN! Those were some BORING parties) I get bored just thinking about them.  Anyway, this will be the closest I've come to an office party in over 5 years.

Fortunately I know many of the people Marc works with because he worked with a handful of them at his last real job, investing capital cases for the State.  Anyway, they are a lively and liberal group so I am actually looking forward to it, and since I have nothing else of note to say at the moment, I'm saying this.

It's funny that if you Google First Friday you will get many links to different cities promoting their local art and art districts with a monthly celebration.   The reason this party is named First Friday is because it's when the State workers get paid.  They feel that this is worth celebrating...  I do too!  I also think it's cool that they do this each month at a different person's house and that occasionally they even get a few wanderers from the DA's office!  That is very encouraging!

It's good to stay cohesive and celebrate the little things, the good things or just getting together because you can.  I think it's also great office policy.  People who party together, STICK together!  They pretty much have to don't they?  I mean they know too damn much about each other not to...

Life, ain't it grand?