Thursday, August 27, 2009

Reflections, smoke and mirrors

Well, I've been thinking about this for a long time and I've decided that the new agers and the rest of the navel contemplators who proclaim that if we do not like someone, it is because they are holding up a mirror to us. That it is actually our reflection that we do not like. Well, I say that concept is full of shit! Or maybe I am. In any case it's over used and I believe, exploited in order to get the insecure to read more self help books! Yep, I think it's a damn conspiratory plot! ha hahahahaaaaaaaaaa~ Not entirely.

When I was young and impressionable, I rejected this claim outright. Hogwash!! That's just ridiculous! If I were like them... I would like them because they would share the same ethics, manners and etc... as I do. Humph! Then I stopped reacting and calmed down... I saw the granule of truth in it, and blew that WAY out of whack. OH YIKES! I was being reflected in every vile no good dirty rotten low down back stabbing bastard in the universe! Too much, too much. I'm vermin! I pondered, contemplated and did my best to understand my connection to the aggressively selfish, snottily entitled, unforgiving, disconnected and even violent members of our society and my personal orbit.

That led to my self esteem taking a huge hit (which believe me, it could not afford) and allowing the sharks within my orbit to tear me to pieces while I tried to be understanding and thoughtful, because, you know, it was really me being reflected. Then, after a whole lot of searching and soul suffering, it came to me. Clear as a bell. Just because someone wears a robe or procures a PhD, does NOT mean they have answers! They are students the same as all of us, and they have weak spots, they fuck up and get greedy and misinterpret just like all of us. That is when I figured out that many "truths" fall on a spectrum. Truths themselves are often not black and white, or maybe it's our experience/perspecive that is not. I'm not sure. Anyway, the point is that not much is absolute. We all have clues surrounding us like fog, but we must come to our OWN truth. Even as you read this, take nothing from anywhere and think that it is coming from an authority more qualified than your own mind, heart and spirit. Change is constant and there are lots of misconceptions being preached by authority figures. Not all of them are blasphemous right wingers either. They throw more smoke and mirrors into the already confusing landscape of our inner lives and hearts and our search for truth and meaning. These persons are definitely our teachers, but WHAT they are teaching? And how are they teaching? This is the mystery... and make no mistake, they are not even aware they are teaching. May times they are so self absorbed, ignorant, unaware or all three that they are just acting out their inner demons they are not to be revered, nor do I believe that they are always reflecting ourselves; however, they are deserving of attention and detached assessment. There are violent teachers, there are vile and nasty ones, using ones, betraying ones, and bigoted ones, ignorant ones.... etc... Even though they may be merely pawns in a bigger picture, they have an important purpose, and that is the part that is deserving of our attention. It is WE who decide what the teaching is, and how it is being taught. (Or more correctly, being channeled to us from elsewhere) And how we can use this lesson to live a better life or make the world a better place.

So, getting back to the smoke and mirrors. It's good to ponder new ideas and perspectives and broaden ourselves. But just remember, sometimes if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and shits like a duck... It IS a fucking duck! Sometimes you are being challenged rather than reflected. Your moral fiber, how you handle this person and what they are doing and whether or not you allow yourself to be influenced and seduced by darkness, or whether you stand up for what you believe and send that duck waddling.


Ms. Moon said...

I was just talking to a friend and she thinks her attitude needs to change about a situation. I told her that quite possibly her attitude was already correct about the situation- she needed, instead, to change the situation.
Great post.

Petit fleur said...

Wow! Coming from you that is just the highest praise ever. Thank YOU.

Send your friend on over if it feels appropriate.

I do get sort of inspired to write these kinds of things, but the problem is I think of the greatest stuff when I'm driving or falling asleep and when I get to writing it, all that's left is just a weak watered down version of the original in my head. I need a tape recorder!

Anyway, thanks for visiting me and my evil ducks! We all love you!

Identify with Dexter said...

Thank you for this post! We haven't even been discussing this subject, but you absolutely mirrored the same cornupcopia of thoughts I have around this topic, and often. I have done this too: thinking, oh, he's hurried and urgent and critical so I must be too! Then I should myself, as if the universe sent me this person to show me where I'm wrong. That is sooo akin to the religion of, "I'm ultimately flawed," which I was taught but don't truly believe in my more loving moments. What if the person you are engaging with is just a jerk and you need to get out!! It felt so right to read your words about the teaching being one thing, and our interpretation of it being another. I think the real work and joy of life is to get closer and more cozy with our selves, in a nutshell. And I love that you honor this, too. I really, super-duper think others need to read your writing! I hope a large mass of beings reads this post, PF!

Petit fleur said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Petit fleur said...

Petit fleur said...

Wow, thanks IDWD! You know when you said, "teaching being one thing and our interpretation of it another" I thought... that is exactly what I was trying to say, but couldn't think of the words! I mean, maybe I did say it, but it's never that clear.

I think it would be fun to collaborate on stuff. You really are very clear headed and concise. I have many good ideas and theories, but I can't get to the real nuggets!

Anyway, thanks for the Koodos. I'm looking forward to your next post!

May said...

I totally agree with you. I think that whole, "look within" approach to seeing other people is helpful, but only to a point. It helps as a quick check in, and to see the other person as human and not simply as an amalgam of disagreeable behaviors, but if you move beyond the quick check-in it can become an exercise in self flagellation. Really thinking and caring people (like you, Sweet one) can go to far. I think the people who really need to do it are the ones least likely to. Also, don't we have a kernel of every type of character defect within us? I know I do. I think I have a very high tolerance for crazy because of this very thing.
There comes a point where we can't own everyone's faults. There has to be some self protection.
Hmmm, as always, you've made me think.

erin said...

Deep Thoughts with PF!
Awesome post.

I've had an opinion about the makings of doesn't differ much from yours. The morality thing makes me nervous cause I've done some messed up shit in the way way past.
But we all learn and move on...blablabla

Petit fleur said...


I'm so happy when I see your pretty face decorating my comment section.

I do know what you mean about going too far. That's what youth is for though I guess. That's when it all started for me anyway. Another interesting thing is that I've been programmed for perfection (That is RIOTOUS to me!) And for all my talk of no absolutes, I tend to be fairly extreme at times. Certain subjects I cannot even talk about they make me so crazy!

Thanks for stopping by and for your insight. Post again soon, you know we love it, and you! xo pf


Do NOT judge yourself on your past OR hold yourself back because you think others will. Everybody fucks up, but that's how we learn. If you have good morals, good for you! I think that's great, no matter what you may have done before you got here.

Thanks for stopping. I like the deep thoughts bit. I miss Ole Jack.
xo pf

Maggie May said...

hells yes!

Petit fleur said...

Thanks Maggie!

BTW, I love the new picture. You are just beautiful.