Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Oh the Humanity...

I'm always blaming things on Mercury being in retro, and this time, apparently, I am correct.  I just got confirmation from Ms Moon, via Kati that yes indeedy, Merc is in retro.  UGH!  I KNEW IT!  And I find it ever so much more irritating and unfair that this is happening when it is so damn hot hot HOT!  This is when people snap and commit crimes of passion or just plain temporary insanity or whatever.  Their blood boils, they are likely oxygen deprived from all the damn humidity and suddenly just can't take one more bit of madness and just explode in some kind of volcanic rage.  This is also one of the key reasons that I believe that everyone who wants to purchase fire arms should HAVE to pass a psychological test and be background checked.  At least south of the Mason Dixon anyway.

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If you are sickened by poop talk or are faint of heart or easily grossed out, then you need to STOP reading at this point.  You really really do.

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Now then, you have been warned.  If you are still with me, just take a deep breath and be glad you were not me on Monday 8-15-11.  

 I had "one of THOSE days" a few days ago.  I wanted to write it out immediately to express some of my frustration and angst while it was still raging, but I was so wrong, I couldn't relive it till I'd settled down some.  I just cold not.  The reverberations of whatever strange karma I had going are still hanging around because some twerpy hippie wannabe kid tried to charge me a fucking dollar for a glass of water in a locally owned cafe which I frequent often and spend LOTS of my freaking money on Popsicles and coffee and just what ever.  I let him have it.  And he deserved it.  I will talk with said owner and if things do not change I will NOT be back there. Period.  But that was yesterday and just a residual wave.  The real crazy happened the day before and while a lot of it, is riotously funny, it was also so damn frustrating to have to keep on "taking it" like a donkey in a hailstorm.

It all started out when I slid on some sick bunny poo... (I should have known right then and there what kind of day it was going to be, but I troopered ahead as we all do)  You have to understand that sick bunny poo smells every bit as bad as dog poo, but is different in that it is extremely sticky~  Seriously.  Ever after scraping it, I had to really work to get it all the way off!  Like with mad amounts of soap and a nail brush!  I frustratingly scraped some of the hard stuff off the floor with my fingernail and a paper towel.... It took me most of the day to get the smell off of my finger.  GEEZ!!!  Really?

Ok, so that began my day.  Then it just went on from there, poop being the central theme.  Not the bunny poop, but my son's poop.  Sigh.  Ok, so in honor of back story, my son has had gastro probs practically since birth and nobody can figure it out or offer any remedy that actually works, so he is going to a special clinic where they get to the bottom of these kinds of things.  They needed a poop sample because although we have done this particular test several times in the past, they were running a few different tests that were not run the first two times.  Have I mentioned I ABHOR this process?  Well, I do.  It is unsavory and messy and just a pain in the butt for all concerned. Pun intended.  Ok, so I've been putting off collecting the poop for months now and our appt. is coming up early in Sept, so when Harley declared that he had to go potty, I asked, poop, or just pee pee?  He replied that he was not sure yet.  So.... this usually means that yes, he does have poo also.  So we got all the peeing over with before attempting to poo.  Thank the Gods that this special clinic has this process DOWN!  Instead of giving you a couple of small jars with which to put the poop in and leaving you to your own devises to catch the poop, they actually give you a tupperware bucket with a little contraption to put under the seat to keep in in place on the potty!  Woo hoo!  I LOVE THIS FEATURE!  Of course it has written in large blue letters  "BIOHAZARD", so that is kind of funny to be running around town with, but I can easily live with that comedic part of the show.  So, we were successful on the FIRST try catching the poo!  Glory be and hallelujah!  That began the journey of the biohazard poo.  This is when things turn strange...

To be continued....

10 comments:

JoJo said...

LOL Oh dear lord. I am sorry to be laughing at your 'crappy' day, but I just love the way you write. Can't wait for the next chapter!

JoJo said...

PS Agree w/ you on Mercury Retrograde. And lucky me, the next one is just in time for Thanksgiving and my bday.

Akannie said...

There's nothing funnier than poop, in my book.

LOL

white rabbit said...

:0

JenSandberg said...

Yesterday in one of the clinics where I work, I heard a nurse say, "This stool sample needs....." and I just kept walking. I couldn't imagine what a piece of shit might need, or what she might do to it. So, as a non-mother from afar, I admire your courage and dedication to figuring out the mystery of Harley's gastro problems. I would REALLY have to talk myself through it!

Petit fleur said...

Hey Jo,

Don't worry bout laughing. It was meant to be sardonically comical.

Sorry m is in r on your bday. sheesh!

xo

Petit fleur said...

Yes, Annie, poops are funny!
xo

Petit fleur said...

WR~ :-Z

Petit fleur said...

Jenny,

Yes, I talk to myself a lot. "Placid blue ocean, placid blue ocean...etc."

xo

JoJo said...

Hey where's the rest of the story?