Last night was filled with nightmares. Bonafide GD Night Terrors! This is an unprecedented event for me. I may have one once in a while, but ALL NIGHT?! The first one woke me up with a full on anxiety attack, which took me over an hour to get under control. It goes like this:
I was playing some kind of game with my son in a car, I guess it was ours. We were parked on the side of the road in my old neighborhood which is mostly quiet, but our street was bordered by two really busy roads and also at peak traffic times many people came to use our streets as cut throughs to the busier roads. Ok, so, we are parked and playing a game of some sort. I had to use the bathroom or something and on the way back was distracted by a flower or bird or something. I broke my stride for just a moment, and in that moment, my son managed to get the car out of park and the car went racing BACKWARDS into the busy crossroad and finally crashing into a tree in front of someone's house. I was grateful the car was not hit by cross traffic, but could feel how afraid Harley was and went racing to get him out and hold him and assess his injuries. It was just before I reached the car that I woke up in a sweaty palm panic, breathing heavily, heart racing the works. sigh.
Next on the menu was a one eyed gimpy fox. (Wonder where my subconscious found that!... all you readers of Mss Moon know that her chicks have been stalked by a mangy ole fox...) So in this particular night terror some girl comes running out from one of the bedrooms of our house screaming and crying. "Oh God! There's a fox and blood and fur and ... OH GOD!" So I run in the room that she came out of and sure enough there is this old mangy, one eyed fox. He actually has two eyes, but one was blind. It was either closed or gauged out, can't remember. He had a a sort of male lion's mane which made him look quite comical and harmless and just too weird to be a threat. None the less I was scared of him as he was a wild creature with fangs and all. There was my kitty on the other side of the room. He was trying to get her and I chased him off. Kitty looked to be fine. I did not notice the fur and blood the girl was screaming about. Kitty ate something off of the floor, and when she turned half of her body was just missing. Mauled and nothing but this sort of clear gelatinous ooze was visible... and some organs! I became insane. Not believing that my poor three legged cat... the one that has been under house arrest to keep her out of harm's way since her real life accident, has been attacked and let's face it, killed in our own home! It was too mind blowing. I remember yelling for Marc and he would not move from in front of his video game. I was incensed, smacked him in the head and took a Xanex.
I'm going to save the burgerless orphan story for another time, because I just can't relive all these damn things at one time. I'm already beginning to feel exhausted and anxious.
Also, Harley's asthma is kicking in from the mold count, which I'm sure is high. He coughed all night. When he finally settled down, he woke up because of bug bites he'd received earlier in the day. Up again for Bactine and powder.... I was basically up all night, so these were more like Opium dreams that anything. It is amazing though how the mind categorizes and connects events and symbols from waking life int he dream time. I know where just about every last one of these thoughts and images have emerged from, but what I don't understand is why the hell my mind rearranged them into the insane stories that it did. Why did it include some things and not others? Why were some thoughts and images linked in the same dream instead of in one of the others? It is a curiosity.
Now it's onward into my day! I feel like I need to go back to sleep, but I wouldn't dare.