Forget Mr. Toad, just have a son!

My son, Harley is apparently going through something.  Something in which he finds it necessary, or is compelled by a force outside of his own reckoning to hurl himself into my or my husband's body going full speed, head butt us, poke us, hit, scratch, kick, squeeze, pinch or grab us... depending upon what demon is possessing him at the moment.  We have been working with this for a few weeks, delivering various consequeses, time outs, mirroring, diet, and etc... which all seem to have a temporary effect, but as yet, have not fully deterred this behavior.

Yesterday we were having quite a day, Harley and I.  He was in rare "aggressive" form, so I took him to the park to "let his jets run"  (That's what our favorite teacher, Ms. Carmie calls it).  He is still sort of acting a bit nuts, but ok, we're at the park and we are the only ones at the park at that, so scream and go nuts~!  Everything was going fine until either his blood sugar dropped or he got too excited or something... I'm still not sure what possessed him this time.  Anyway, he comes back from what ever he was doing to the platform which is the highest platform on this equipment.  It's at the top of the big slide.  Anyway, he comes up like he's going to hug me, and he does, and then he pinches my boob, (in a very very tender area), REALLY hard~!  This is as aggrevating and frustrating as it is painful.  Ok, so I yell, naturally.  First because I'm in pain, and next AT him! (Oh yea, and by now, there are other people at the park... lovely.)

 "Why did you pinch me?  You can't do that to people, it hurts!!  Are you CRAZY?" (or something to that effect)

"I didn't pinch you!  I didn't pinch you~"

By this time, I really am ready to strangle this child....

"Do NOT lie to me"  I say, turning his face so he is looking at me when I say this."DO NOT LIE!"

"I grabbed you, I didn't pinch"

Oh, MY GOD!!

So, now everyone in the park is likely thinking I'm abusing my kid....my first instinct is to leave, right then.  And I should have, but we had a talk and he promised not to do it again.  (Am I creating a wife beater here??  Jesus!) So, we stay.

Not more than 5 minutes later, (I'm still on the same platform ruminating about the fact that I bounce between snapping and feeling guilty to being a wussy disciplinarian altogether...and the effects that may have on Harley's future and his mental health....and his wife, and and and...thinking maybe I should resort to the old fashioned "Give him a dose of his own medicine" and end this bullshit once and for all!)  So, as I'm sitting there, lost in my own fog, suddenly his face appears around the corner... He is on the tall pole with the swirling banister type slidey thingie.  This particular thingt has always seemed MUCH higher than it should be to me.  Anyway, he normally never goes down it unless I'm right under it or spotting him... Today? He decides to climb UP it on his own, while I was zoned out, thinking my lameness as a disciplinarian.

"Ah, mom, can you help me step on the platform?"

"Oh yea, hang on a sec"  (It takes me at least that long to get up)

As I am getting up, I hear a THUMP!

Oh holy mother of Christ!  He's fallen the entire 10 feet!  He's dead or badly hurt, I know this.  I am staring at his motionless body lying face down on the woodchip covered ground where he's fallen and I freeze. except to hollar his name.

"Harley!! HARRRRLEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!!!"

I don't remember how I got down to where he was because I've blacked it out. But I did get down there somehow, and he's already sprung up!  Thank the Great Spirit and everything sacred!  So, of course he's crying pretty good for a few minutes and babbling incoherently.  All the while, I'm holding him and checking for broken bones and internal injuries.  Intermittently asking questions:  "What happened?  What hurts?  Did you hit your head?"  etc..  Remember, I was getting up so I did not actually witness HOW he fell or the fall itself, even though I was only about a foot or two away. (Life is cruel and insanely ironic in this way)

So, after a while, I"m pretty sure nothing is seriously wrong, at least not visibly... but I won't sleep until we've been to see the doc and check it out the innerds.  (There could be internal bleeding right?  A cracked rib?  Punctured lung?)  So, we are told by the doc to go to Urgent Care because it is now close to 5, and they're packing to go home... Ok, so we are at the Urgent Care and once again, we get the BEST, funniest, most patient, understanding, mild mannered and did I mention BEAUTIFUL  doctor... and he's older than Doogie Howser, which is a real plus in my book.  He is Dr. Eastman and he understands that I feel guilty as hell, and it's ok.  He says, " It always happens to the  vigilent ones.... Usually it's the grandparents!"  "He's a boy", he says, "its what we do!"  (Did I mention he has kids of his own?) Ok, starting to feel a triffle less guilty and a just plain grateful.  He examines Harley and announces with a slow steady tone and blue eyes filled with compassion, and just a glint of whimsy, "He is one lucky boy"!  I know this is true, he has many divine allies. Dr. E continues... "Keep an eye on him just to be safe.  Check his pee for blood clots, watch to see if he winces when he caughs or complains of any pain or dizziness, just to be safe".  But he is confident that Harley is just fine.

So, away we go feeling luckier than people have any right to.  I slept with him lastnight, just because.

Then today at school,  I stayed for Good Morning Time (At his school, the whole school gets together every morning to sing songs together before they start their day... I LOVE that) When a parent stays, many times they will allow a student to come to the front of the room and lead in a song, and everyone sings along.  Today Harley got to do that...Only instead of singing a normal Good Morning Time song, he just launched into the Diego theme song.  (It's pretty long!)  None of the other kids nor the pianist knew the song, so he was doing it solo and Alco Pella...  (There was one teacher, Ms Melissa, who knew some of it.  She helped out a little, which was very cute and sweet!)  Mostly, we were all sort of stunned!

I'm not sure why I added that part at the end... but I guess it's because kids can make you feel such a myriad of emotions in such a short time, it really is as though you've turned into a pinball, and the bumpers are your emotions, which you keep bouncing around on.  Boing! Boing! Boing!  In a matter of 24 hours I felt all of these feelings so intensely I was literally engulfed by them: Anger, love, visceral pain, emotional pain, fear, shock, gratitude, frustration, pride, exhaustion, awe, exasperation and releif... just to name a few.   
Even Mr. Toad would not be expecting this kind of ride.  That's probably the only thing I'm sure of.

My son sings to tigers... and they sing back!

This is Casanova. As you can see, he is an incredibly magnificent creature. A Siberian White Tiger, visually stunning, with the personality of a goofball lover. On the outside, he's all Carry Grant, Johnny Depp and Fred Astaire... On the inside... some oddball cross between the original Casanova, Toulouse Lautrec and Chevy Case. How can a tiger be a goofball? That's another post for another time. But I did want to mention that my almost 4 year old, Harley, took the above photo himself. First try! In fact it was the one and only pic he took of his friend yesterday. Good eye, eh?

This is Harley. He is an incredibly magnificent creature as well. He makes up songs constantly. He also likes to make up words and kind of has his very own language, which he wields at will. He likes balloon parties, singing, playing guitar, toads, lizards, more toads, anything train oriented and digging in the dirt. (Both with a shovel and with hands). He loves all creatures large and small, but his most favorite-ist one of all is a Casanova.

Casanova lives at Cougar Ridge Educational Center, http://www.cougar-ridge.org/ which is owned and operated by our dear friend Gloria. Harley first met Ms Gloria and her furry family: Ashukalee (Sugar for short) and Lakota, (the two cougars who also live at Cougar Ridge... hence the name) and Casanova, one year ago on Sugar's birthday. Ms Sugar, being the Queen of the Ridge, had an elaborate party which felt more like a low key gala if that makes sense. The gala included decorations, cake, human refreshments, well wishers of all ages and backgrounds, (I think one of our state representatives was in attendance), and of course big kitty treats/presents/refreshments... The only one I really remember was a new ball, but I'm sure some kind of fresh venison was probably involved as well.

I wanted so badly to get her one of those big ass bones you see sometimes in Publix, but that would involve getting bones for the other two cats as well. Believe me, you really don't want beasts of that size picking bones with one another, literally. And, truth be told, these sized bones are pretty expensive if you get more than one. I was sad that we could not afford a round of bones and did not know what else to get a cougar diva for her birthday. But luckily Harley had his own gift idea. He suggested we bring his guitar so that he could sing and play Happy Birthday to Sugar. Great idea! So, that is what we did. Unfortunately, Sugar is a bit shy, so there is no telling what she really thought about this... however, there was no mistaking what Casanova thought of it. He LOVED it! It was the cutest most amazing thing ever. Cass immediately met Harley as he approached his enclosure, guitar in hand. He greeted him with a friendly "Chuff-Chuff" (That is happy tiger talk), and it was love at first sight... Then Harley began to serenade him, and it got even more comical and heartwarming. Harley often has to stroll or move about when he's playing, so he paced up and down the length of Cas's enclosure. Cas trotted beside him following his every move, and sort of springing about like a graceful goofy dancer, chuffing and occasionally just gazing at Harley, or rubbing up against his fence in pleasure while listening intently. I even caught him making biscuits one time! (It is the way house cats show effection by pressing their paws into something as though they are kneeding dough). It was a grand time indeed.

Unfortunately, we have not seen a lot of Gloria or her furry family since.then We have kept in touch by phone and email along the way, but we both got caught up in life's chaotic pace, which can dull our connections. So, out of the blue lasts week, I got possessed with catching up with those folks who I have lost contact with, and called her. Turns out it was HER birthday this past weekend. So all Harley could talk about was making Ms Gloria, who he now refers to as "Aunt Gloria", a birthday cake and singing to her, and her kitties, naturally. There are very few people I've seen Harley take to that were not family or people we see regularly like he has with Gloria. (Personally, I think he's got a massive crush on her!) As much as an almost 4 year old can. This is not surprising as she is gorgeous, exuberant, kind and when she speaks to you, it's as though you are the only person in the universe. Plus she loves kids or at least mine, so there you go~ The fact that she is the mommy of his favorite tiger friend is just icing on the cake. (Really, no pun intended. I swear.) So, we sang to Ms Gloria, Harley helped her blow out candles and she and I got to catch up some. Harley got to flirt a bit and ask all sorts of questions about big kitties. He astutely observed that "Casanova doesn't even know how BIG he is"!! (So true, much like the St Bernard who thinks he's a lap dog). We had to explain to him that while the kitties are sweet from a safe distance, they are wild creatures also. That's when he announced his observation.

Here is Harley signing to Cas. These pictures don't really do either of them justice, just as words do not, but it will give you an idea. In some of these, it looks like Cas is singing along, but he is actually chuffing and panting, which I guess in tiger talk, is really one in the same.