Monday, April 11, 2011

The Boy is alright.

So, a week or so ago I'm at the local health food grocery store... the only one of it's kind in the city I live in for YEARS until the recent opening of an Earthfare, but I don't know, that place sort of smacks of corporate chain. (Which is not ALL bad, but there is a plastic-ish/Barbi sort of feel to it if you get me)  Anyway, I'm really digressing... I was IN the local REAL deal Health Food Grocery with my son Harley, when a middle aged woman approached me in the cereal isle.

"Excuse me, but, is that your child"?

"Why yes.  Yes he is, why"?

"Would you tell me what sort of formula you gave him?"

"I didn't.  He's never had any formula at all".

"Really?  Well what DID you use"??! (She asked, wide eyed and donning a look of true amazement, genuine curiosity mixed with hope and dumbfounded wonder)

I simply looked at her and stammered, and I'm sure I was looking at her with a similar expression except that I was slack jawed as well...
"Um, uh, well... I..... nursed.... him"?  (Phrasing it sort of like a question so as not to shock her into oblivion)

Eyes EVEN WIDER and MOUTH making a LARGE  O, she says,
"OOOOOOoooooooooooooooooOOh!  I'm so focused on finding soy free formula for my grandson, I just... OooooOOOOOoooh!"

We both had a HUGE laugh after that!  I mean really?  REALLY?  I could see this possibly happening at any of the marts or commercial grocery stores, maybe even Target, but really, the Health food grocery store?  If it hadn't been so funny I'd have broken down into tears with the absurdity and sadness of what the whole exchange represents about our culture. sigh.  Thank the Great Spirit for humor!  Speaking of humor...

If you want to laugh your ass off, (Steph, you will like this) invite a young Bulgarian woman to stay at your house. Then, watch as your 5 year old son, who is obviously and hopelessly smitten with said Bulgarian, tries like hell to tell her pre-K jokes and tickle her funny bone.  *AKA flirt!  OMG! This was definitely one of the funniest real life dark humor situations we've had round here in long time!  Featuring such classics as the "knock knock joke- banana banana banana banana orange, and What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence"...  First of all, most kid jokes are just plain not funny.  Silly maybe, clever MAYBE, but rarely in my experience funny.  The funny part is their glee in telling it and waiting for the over exagerate reaction, right?  Well, if you throw in that your audience is a shy young adult with little experience with kids, and speaks another language, you've got a recipe for a tough room!  He'd tell the joke, silence and look of concentration and consternation on our guest's face as she tried to figure out why this is funny.  JUXTAPOSE:  A look of anticipation glee and hopeful release of the giggles on Harley's face.  Marc and I fill the silence with our appreciation for the irony of the whole situation (aka raucous laughter), which finally seduces the real audience into compliant participation!  BooooeeeYA!  Some things just don't translate, but laughing... every time.

Speaking of booooeeeya, Harley says to me the other day in reference to the bickering of his dad and me...

Harley: "You know mom, I know the way to stop arguing so much..."
ME: "Really?  I'm dying to know, what is it?"
Harley:  "Just agree more"!

And you know, there is truth to that.  My boy.  He makes all the absurdity some how alright, fun even.


Steph(anie) said...

Good laughs. Thank you :D

JoJo said...

Your kid is a real kick!!! He cracks me up!!!

Petit fleur said...

Steph and Jojo,

Thanks for stoppin~ As I was writing this, I was wondering if the funny would translate, because it was so very funny in person, but as I was writing, it seemed to loose some umph.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Rebecca said...

Just agree more. I love it. So simple but very true.

Ms. Moon said...

Harley's got a point there. All that breastmilk made him really smart. Plus, oh yeah, genes.

Maggie May said...

HA@!! that is truly awesome. you should have said BOOGERS!

Petit fleur said...

Glad you enjoyed.

Yea, it's one of those situations where you think of a million great things you could have said, but in the moment, your too busy being embarrassed for everyone in the room!

I was embarrassed for her for obvious reasons, and for myself because I could find no way out that would not embarrass her further! Oh the humanity.