Monday, March 23, 2009


So the question is, what came first, the ADD or the PTSD. There is no doubt I have both. I never realized that a person could develope PTSD just from growing up in a dysfunctional environment. Therefore, I never considered that it could even be one of my issues, much less the main one.

One interesting factoid is that I remember being able to concentrate and remember things from a very early age. I learned to read before school, way before. And it seemed I was always remembering things others had forgotten. The ADD symptoms started in around 2nd grade. My best friend Diedre Davis's mom was a volunteer for some sort of language arts class and she used to always call me daydreamer. In fact, she was the ONLY one who ever noticed that I had a "problem". Although, nobody knew what it was, and they didn't call it a problem. It was just part of your personality or character.

Interestingly, the symptoms for ADD and PTST are almost exactly the same. I could list them for you, but... I'm not sure it's all that interesting. The interesting part is that since I became an adult and began investigating myself, wondering what the evolutionary hold up was, I discovered that the reason I cried and slogged my way through college was because I'm severely ADD/Inattentive type. I discovered this about 6- 8 years after graduating.... I am now at 13 years past that... SO, lo these many years later, I am just NOW learning that I have most definitely developed a serious case of untreated PTSD. Oddly, as I mentioned the symptoms are very close. So, my theory has branched out in the last few weeks as I've been mulling and researching about all of this.

My best guess is that many (not ALL) ADD people of the generation (born between the 50s-60s) are more likely to have PTSD either mixed with, or presenting as ADD/ADHD. The evolution of how we treat children and what we know about their development and etc. has changed for the better in the last 20 years. What many families thought of as "normal" family stuff, is now known to be abusive and traumatic behavior and dynamics. The theory is that most everyone who is between ages 40-50+ who discovered ADHD in adulthood, probably actually have PTSD. I think this is very important because as the therapy protocols do seem to overlap, there are some very important differences as well. For some people it could be that once the PTSD is treated, perhaps their brains will stop behaving like a person's brain who has ADHD....? It's a damn interesting link, donchya think?

I just feel better about getting closer to the nugget of what I am actually trying to treat!
That's all for now.


Ms. Moon said...

That is most interesting, Ms. Fleur. Good post. But I'm sorry you suffer from these damnable things.
You know I understand.
They sure do not interfere with your mothering skills- I'll bear witness to that.

Petit fleur said...

Thanks Ms Moon.

I appreciate your support.

Most of the time I do ok... but I have had more than a few out of control blow ups that felt very very wrong. Even while they were happening. (Happened today in fact) I can't stand that feeling and I damn sure don't want Harley to get too familiar with it.

So money be damned, I'm getting some counseling!

Zengoof said...

Your theory is a very, good one. My guess is that maybe it isn't a chicken or the egg thing at all, but that both ADD and PTSD "grow up" together as traumas are experienced, so that they are/become intertwined - and possibly inseparable - coexisting. This might mean that holistically treating both at the same time might yield better therapeutic results than treating one and then the other (or treating then as separate conditions).
Keep plugging away, you'll get where you need to go.

Petit fleur said...

Wow~ Very insightful. I'm now thinking it can be any one of the three. But your theory is probably the most common scenario... I'm betting.

Good work! Why don't we get paid more?