Pump up the volume

This is Harley's new favorite song.

He sings it throughout the day and when we are driving, I'm instructed to please put "Way UP" on repeat...  Who is this kid?  I mean, yes we expose him to what we believe to be good music, art, ideas, etc... but it doesn't mean he has to like it, or to respond to it as he does.  He is as obsessed or more with this song as I was the first time I heard it.

One day this week, I was instructed to please take out the "Steve Songs" CD (Mr. Steve is a PBS kid's star)and put in the Dean Martin CD.... Oh LORD!  He used to also do this with his compilation CD:  featuring Dylan, the Beatles, Cake,  Keb Mo, Harry Conick, etc...  so this is not entirely new.  However, by instructing me to take out the kid icon CD, Mr. Steve, and replace it with the Dean Martin CD was unprecedented! (He adores Mr. Steve~)

Yesterday, we spent the whole day swimming at a public pool.  Griffin went from singing an old Dean Martin standard, "Dance with me"  to "Way UP!"   Nobody around us knew what he/we were singing, but we did. And our glee was uncontainable.   We finally cooled off (it's been rather hot in these parts) and were able to do it OUTside!   The only way it could have been better is if they sold ice cream.  They do not.

.If you have a few minutes, watch this clip.  It's the ending to the Divine Ya Ya movie, and it's precious.

I sometimes get a little wistful wondering how many other kids would love these kinds of songs and keep them alive, and sew a thread from  our shared artistic/cultural history to our present... and future.  And if it will happen..?  I hope so.

Hallelujah! Sela!, Glory BE! AND AMEN!!!

ANALYSIS BY

ANDREW COHEN

Legal Analyst

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The legal team that fought to save California's Proposition 8 from history's scrap heap practically dared U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker to rule against the 2008 ballot initiative that banned same-sex marriage in the Golden State.

Led by attorney Charles Cooper, who stumbled and bumbled his way through closing arguments, these defenders of "traditional" marriage presented virtually no evidence to support their case during the months-long trial in San Francisco. Instead, they kept telling the veteran judge that legal standards and precedents were so clear and unambiguously in their favor that virtually no set of facts could support the arguments offered by their prime-time opponents, Ted Olson and David Boies, who led the fight to ban the ban on same-sex marriage.

But federal judges don't buckle to dares. And they rarely rush to endorse litigants who fail to present plausible (much less compelling) cases in their courtrooms. So for those of you just now tuning back in to this unfolding legal drama, Walker's landmark136-page ruling Wednesday is not nearly as surprising as you might think. As he suggested he would during closing arguments, the judge, an appointee of the first President George Bush, wholly rejected the dubious rope-a-dope strategy employed by Cooper and Company. Indeed, if the trial and the ruling were a boxing match it would have been an early TKO.

It is hard to overstate the significance of the ruling. For the first time in the nation's history, a federal judge has identified a right under both the equal protection and due process clauses of the federal Constitution that precludes a state from banning same-sex marriages. Just six years after Massachusetts charted its own course and recognized same-sex marriage on a state level, the matter is now squarely before the nation's judiciary. Within a decade the whole matter might be resolved. And all those people (like me) who blasted the dream team of Boies and Olson for rushing into this case before America was ready for it now are left to wonder what they missed.

Walker's opinion was detailed, intense and relentless in its rejection of the arguments offered by proponents of Proposition 8. For example, the crucial "findings of fact" contained in the ruling roll on for more than 40 pages; a paean to the dogged work of Boies and Olson and a vitiation of many of the beliefs and prejudices held by so many in and out of California when it comes to same-sex marriage. During the trial, Walker practically begged and cajoled the Prop 8 lawyers to do better for their cause. He asked them written questions to draw them out. He scolded them during closing arguments to make more persuasive arguments. They simply didn't or couldn't or wouldn't respond. And so, based on the evidence at trial, Judge Walker found:

1. "Individuals do not generally choose their sexual orientation. No credible evidence supports a finding that an individual may, through conscious decision, therapeutic intervention or any other method, change his or her sexual orientation."

2. "California has no interest in asking gays and lesbians to change their sexual orientation or in reducing the number of gays and lesbians in California."

3. "Same-sex couples are identical to opposite-sex couples in the characteristics relevant to the ability to form successful marital unions. Like opposite-sex couples, same-sex couples have happy, satisfying relationships and form deep emotional bonds and strong commitments to their partners."

4. "Marrying a person of the opposite sex is an unrealistic option for gay and lesbian individuals."

5. "The availability of domestic partnership does not provide gays and lesbians with a status equivalent to marriage because the cultural meaning of marriage and its associated benefits are intentionally withheld from same-sex couples in domestic partnerships."

6. "Permitting same-sex couples to marry will not affect the number of opposite-sex couples who marry, divorce, cohabit, have children outside of marriage or otherwise affect the stability of opposite-sex marriages."

7. "Proposition 8 places the force of law behind stigmas against gays and lesbians, including: gays and lesbians do not have intimate relationships similar to heterosexual couples; gays and lesbians are not as good as heterosexuals; and gay and lesbian relationships do not deserve the full recognition of society."

8. "Proposition 8 increases costs and decreases wealth for same sex couples because of increased tax burdens, decreased availability of health insurance and higher transactions costs to secure rights and obligations typically associated with marriage."

9. "Proposition 8 singles out gays and lesbians and legitimates their unequal treatment. Proposition 8 perpetuates the stereotype that gays and lesbians are incapable of forming long-term loving relationships and that gays and lesbians are not good parents."

10. "The gender of a child's parent is not a factor in a child's adjustment. The sexual orientation of an individual does not determine whether that individual can be a good parent. Children raised by gay or lesbian parents are as likely as children raised by heterosexual parents to be healthy, successful and well-adjusted."

Even if the appellate courts ultimately find that Walker got his legal analysis wrong, they cannot wash away what same-sex marriage proponents surely will call these 10 "points of light." Based upon those findings -- based upon the utter lack of a rebuttal by opponents of same-sex marriage -- Walker concluded that Prop 8 was so blatantly unconstitutional that it could not pass muster under any of the relevant legal standards that judges routinely apply in these cases -- even the one called "rational basis," which is a very low bar indeed. This was a rout, in other words, and there is virtually nothing in the language of Walker's ruling that suggests otherwise.

As most judges do in these sorts of situations, Walker immediately stayed the effect of his ruling pending an appeal. Soon the dispute will move to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals where the Prop 8 lawyers will try to convince the appellate judges that Walker wrongly applied the factual record to existing legal precedent. I suppose it's possible that the 9th Circuit will overturn the ruling. But if it does, it will be forced to largely discount the testimony and conclusions of dozens of witnesses presented by opponents of Prop 8 while enlarging beyond all recognition the impact of the two -- and only two -- witnesses presented by Cooper and his team. It's clear what Walker thought of those defense witnesses; he ruled in his order that the testimony of one of them, Don Blankenhorn, was so inapt and contradictory that it was rendered inadmissible. You don't see that every day in a high-profile case in federal court.

Based upon Walker's factual findings, therefore, there may not be enough factual bedrock for the 9th Circuit to grab on to even if its judges are inclined to reinstate Prop 8. And the same goes for the U.S. Supreme Court. In any event, playing possum in a case of this magnitude -- laying in wait for the conservative Supreme Court to save the day -- is certainly not a risk most sensible litigators would have taken.

This is true especially since a high court ruling -- if and when it comes one day -- will almost certainly be determined by the sole remaining Californian on the court, Justice Anthony Kennedy, who always seems to cast the fifth and deciding vote in social cases like this. Like every other judge who now will look at this record, he will scratch his head and wonder: Where did Prop 8's case go? And how and why should it be rescued at this late hour?

Indeed, it is unclear and nearly unfathomable today why Prop 8's supporters would have been and remained so confident in Justice Kennedy's jurisprudence to have ceded so much ground at trial to their opponents. It is inconceivable that they would not have even attempted (much less succeeded) in rebutting the many strong facts and arguments offered by same-sex marriage proponents, who saw Prop 8 as an unlawful exercise of majority rule. Perhaps Cooper and Company will have more answers now than they had during the trial. Perhaps not.

Yes, I'm POSITIVE!

If you have never seen the Stuart Smalley movie, I highly recommend it.  I laughed myself to tears.  I have to admit, it was so long ago, there is a good chance I was high when I saw it. 

Nevertheless, I adore Al Frankin, and I love the fact that he's both educated AND smart, and that he did smart people comedy before he went into politics.  Not a combo that I would normally favor, but he is an original and it works for him.  But I digress.  As much as I love Al AND Stuart, they are just my intro to a post about positive thinking, and what I, well, think of it.

For me it is not so black and white making a decision about how I will choose to discern my thoughts and prospectives.  I had to chew on it for a while.   Read a lot, think a lot, read some more, experiment some and observe different personalities and how their attitudes helped or hurt their ability to navigate their lives in what appeared to be a fulfilling and joyful manner.  Needless to say, this took a while.  There were many conflicts which had to be cleared up for me involving positive thinking, and what it actually meant before I could hop on board.  Does it mean to just grin and bear it?  Does it mean to ignore reality and live in a happy illusion bubble? (I find this particularly disturbing and a little too close to denial for me)  Does it mean to just focus on upbeat people and situations?  Does it mean faking it?  (I don't know if anyone remembers, but about 10 years ago some study was supposedly proving that people who smiled even though they were miserable were contracting all sorts of diseases because on a cellular level their bodies were as confused as their minds!)  To me, that meant that if you have negative or toxic feelings, that you need to expel them in some way... (Talk it out, exercise, hit a pillow, scream, whatever)  Keeping those emotions tucked away or unrecognized, is to make yourself physically ill from stress build up... This isn't positive... all the same, I felt there was something to all this positive thinking stuff... and I was right..

I'll share what PT means to me, just keep in mind I've pulled from many sources, situations and experiences so there may be a lot of ideas that are not original.  What I'm hoping is to package and present these ideas, theories and experiences in an original way, for myself as much as anyone else.  So here goes.  

Natural events that happen on this planet, or indeed anywhere are neutral in meaning, but do possess a charge of some kind, positive, negative or neutral.  What gives any event or experience meaning is our interpretation of it.   If everything and everyone possess both a positive charge, (aka light), as well as a negative charge, aka(shadow), then the amount of positive vs the amount of negative charge will determine the overall charge that thing/person emits....(positive, negative or neutral).  This is why sometimes a person can make the hair on the back of your neck stand up just being near them, and alternatively why people can attract each other from across a room.  

So we all have a choice to make.  The choice is 'where would we like to direct our focus with regard to outside stimuli?", and "what do we want emit/attract?". In most every situation we can generally discern  the negative parts and the positive parts, then choose which part(s) we'd like to focus on.  This is not always as easy as it sounds because most of us are programmed to have certain ideas and agendas, and if the outside stimuli doesn't fit into the confines of those ideas or agendas then there is the default setting of feeling negatively about it automatically.  For instance, you are meeting someone for a business lunch and you get rained on.  You can make the best of it and find the humor in it, or you can get upset because you feel silly being all wet.  You're choice. 

Of course I'm simplifying, but in most situations there is this inherent choice.  I don't think that any of us are equipped to see that choice in all or even most situations because we have emotions and agendas, and that's ok...BUT... we CAN learn to see the choice in more situations than we are used to, if we loosen up and stay conscious.  I am in the process of reprogramming my thinking (the process by which I interpret outside stimuli) in hopes that the more I practice, the more positive changes will happen in my brain chemistry, which will help me emit more positive energy, which in turn will allow me to feel better, do better and live better.

CHEERS ya'll!
And remember: You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it people like you!

Owed to joy

This was going to be a "that was then, this is now" photo post of Harley and how much he's grown since I blinked my eyes... but alas, our photos files are too large to upload and I have to fix em, and since I'm a little fuzzy on that, it will have to wait... but I'm not agitated... not today.

THIS post is announcing my newest mission in life: Consciously seeking joy.  Not chasing it, just staying open to recognizing and experiencing it whenever and where ever possible.

I made a startling discovery about 4 and a half years ago, at the ripe old age of 42.  I discovered that I had not truly felt or experienced true joy since sometime in my childhood.  In fact I was so shut off to it, that it seemed to me, like anyone who appeared to be experiencing it was either mental or faking it... or, of course a child.  Pretty sad.  BUT... The good news is that I finally woke up!  I know that it really does exist and I've felt nostalgic waves of it since Harley's birth.

Now, I am trying to keep my eyes out for other truly joyful moments and experiences.  And I'm staying aware of that fact.  I'll let you know how it goes.

May we all be bathed in joy!  ...      PS This last photo is for you SB.  :-P

Does she look like Ms Moon's Jessie or what??

A little more make up than Jessie wears, but still a stunning likeness.

This was the only picture I could find of Jessie with her hair cut on short notice... It's a great vid, so enjoy!

I am both tickled and a trifle disturbed.

Harley has his first cartoon crush....

(For those of you who like to sing along...)


Word up. It’s Wordgirl.

Word up. It’s Wordgirl.

Flying at the speed of sound, Vocabulary that astounds, From the planet Lexicon, Watch out villiains…….. here she comes!

When faced with a catastrophy We need a living dictionary, Her superior intellect Keeps the crime world in check. Go girl!

Huggy Face is by her side, Vocabulary a mile wide. She'll make sure that crime won’t pay And throw some mighty words your way.

Word up. It’s Wordgirl.

Word up! From the planet Lexicon, watch out villains, here she comes!

Yea, I know, I think too much, but the level of his obsession with this character is right up there with full blown addiction!  And believe me, as an ex bartender, I know from addiction ya'll.   

Then there is the idea that if you are going to be addicted to something, to my way of thinking, an educational show that revolves around words and their usage and that features great music and contains good quality life lessons.... is healthier than any addiction I've been known to have.  

One thing I'm not sure about yet, is it sometimes catches me off guard with the hidden humor... like one of the titles:  "A Hero, a Thief, a Store and It's Owner"  ... if you've ever watched "The Cook, the Thief, his wife and her Lover", you'd understand that while this is hilarious on the one hand... it has a very darkly slanted origin for a kid show title!  However, in order to have even heard of the movie, you have to be a certain kind of seeker/questioner and lover of film... and that appeals to me.    

Here is brief synopsis of the movie:The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover is a 1989 French/British romantic crime drama written and directed by Peter Greenaway, starring Richard Bohringer, Michael Gambon, Helen Mirren, and Alan Howard in the titular roles. The film's graphic scatological, violent andnude scenes, as well as its lavish cinematography and formalism were noted at the time of its release.

Anyway, I'm mostly just babbling now.  I feel I just have to purge these things once in a while because I am sort of a secondary obsesser once removed.  Not by choice, but by the mere fact that I live under the same roof with a full fledged WG addict.  I have to find a way to live with our new affliction...

• to get the damn song OUT of my head, ( it's what I hear all day because Harley sings it!), 
• to try to be patient with the obsessive asking if it's "4 o'clock yet" beginning at oh, 10am... 
• to deal with the frustration of having to make a WG action figure for him because they don't sell the damn things ANYWHERE!  (Ah Jojo, HELP!)  I don't know NOTHIN bout makin' no damn action figures!
• to gently tell him for the 900th time to "step away from the screen or you'll hurt your eyes".
• to allow his affliction without it becoming mine... (NO enabling please!)

So, does anyone know if there exists a 12 step program for the addictions of the sons? :-)

It's great to have groovy neighbors!

In a long ago post entitled: I've been crying all day, that must be why I have so many watermelons, I tell the tale of how my good neighbors who grow things, share them with us on a regular basis.  In that particular post, I got double sharing because I sort of had a mini nervous breakdown in front of one of my good neighbor's by accident. He sells home grown produce and was compelled to leave me a melon. (No charge)  Word spreads fast in these parts, so it wasn't too long (mere hours) before another neighbor and his wife felt we needed still more watermelon healing, and left another melon, as large as the first one.... Then by Jove, yet another one appeared not long after the second one!! Sounds made up right?  It's not.  Sounds funny right? It actually works though!  How can you stay blue when your neighbors are drowning you in melons?? (Food is love, right?)  Well, it is in these parts anyway.  So, I was lifted and cheered at all the watermelon love got that day.

If you're a watermelon lover, we actually have a festival wherein we pay homage to this most refreshing and generous summertime delicacy.  Seriously, I've posted about it before. It's called the Monticello Watermelon Festival or something like that.  If you care to, you can read about that here.  (It's not nearly as surly as the Rocky Mountain Oyster Festival, which you can read about here.  It's just good sweaty Florida fun?)  Oh well, the hat is tipping to my favorite blogging  barrister, the infamous, White Rabbit. Who, if he wanted to, could easily get a job in comedy too! But I digress.  

This post is about neither watermelons, nor festivals... it is about groovy neighbors.  Ok~ so, I come home today to my first watermelon "drive-bye" of the season.  This is a custom where somebody brings you by a melon and your not home, so they leave it as a surprise on your back steps... Just waiting to greet you when you get home.  (see above) 

Harley and I had just returned home from a shopping stint at the Organo shopping co-op.  (Where I got to taste REALLY GOOD organic pale ale... that shit is strong! And it was poured by none other than Mr. Billy, of BOH fame.)   Anyway, we (Harley and I) are going to a BBQ pool party tomorrow and I'm in charge of the fruit salad you see.   Therefore, I bought 3, count 'em 3 melons:  One mini watermelon aka "sugar baby", one ginormous Cantaloupe and one not so ginormous Honey dew melon.  So as I mentioned, we came home only to find the first 2010 "drive-bye" melon, a biggun' at that...(much like the one pictured above)   It was lovingly perched next to a "Vote for so and so for County Commission" door hanging and a pencil to match.  The door hanging had a red magic marker exclamation point on it!  Funny, no?  Ok now, while I am feeling so much love and am tickled beyond words, I have no place to put this bad boy.  My fridge is one of those way too cramped side by sides.  (sigh).  Today was all about the melons I guess. :-)  When in doubt, call Ms Moon, another sweet neighbor, to ask if she would like the melon. (They are always partying across the fence dontcha know!)  Not really, they just have a large family who love each other so they tend to have more foot traffic at their place.  But nope, not this weekend, and they already have a baddass melon of their own!  Good Lord, what are the chances??!  Pretty good, I guess...BUT... THEN she says, "Hey, why don't you just put it in our extra fridge in the garage?" Which is affectionately referred to as the garagemahal.  Yes, they have a name for their garage, and if you've ever seen it, you'll know why.  The homeless could find shelter in that thing... and food too! I KNOW there is a post about the GMH over at BOH somewhere..  Anyway, so yay!  Problem solved.  And, if the Moons manage to blow through their melon or if any of the kids need one, they have one.  It is likely I'll forget about it... It's just the damn community melon now.  Just plain out of my hands... All I know is, one neighbor gave me a beautiful melon, & another is refrigerating it for me!  

How cool is that? Cool, very, very cool.

I'm just happy it is not going to waste away on my counter. 

Ms Moon is always giving us home made goodies like zuppa, home grown veggies, fresh eggs and etc...  Not to mention she helped usher Harley into the world... Need I say more?

I also have other good neighbors.  The across the street neighbors occasionally give Harley groovy hand me down clothes and toys, the daddy fixed Harley's guitar when he snapped the neck off walking through a doorway with it, (daddy's a musician), and one of their kid's even cut our grass once... AND...they've invited us to swim in their fancy pool!  Then I have more  neighbors, catty corner cross the street, that are awesome too!  They have also become good friends of ours.  Their daughter feeds our kitty and loves on her when we are away.  She also babysits for Harley sometimes and he adores her.  Sometimes we go over to play and she is so great with him it almost makes me cry.  So, I am surrounded by coolness AND grooviness on all sides... I LOVE that!  And am so grateful for it.  And not just because what they do for us/with us... It's because of who they are.  They're real and they're caring, and because of who we all are, we feel like part of a larger family.  A real community.  Like when I was growing up. I can't express what a comfort & joy it is.

It's very important, having good neighbors. (especially in the country) Not many people luck into a situation like we have, and I am fully aware of that fact.  There is so much more I could say about all of these fun-tabulous characters, but I am going to have to break this up, like with the vacation post... Too much.   Thanks neighbors, we sure do love you, and appreciate you.

Have some blessings, and pass the melon will ya?
Happy 4th to all.  xo pf