The New Year is kicking my @$$

This is Cat me...  with a grown up beverage, but it really kind of sums it all up!

It's been a while since I've posted so I don't know if anyone is still out there... but I'm going to do this anyway, just so I can remind myself that it's not my imagination... lots is happening everywhere and our place is no exception.

The new year started very well and mellow as far as I can remember.  Nothing really mind blowing.  Then my mom got very sick again around mid January.  She fought hard and rallied a few times from her bout with cancer and we thought she might regain some quality of life and be here a while longer, but that didn't happen.  She died the day after my birthday...  She did not want a memorial or funeral or service so the family got together for a weekend to just be with each other... and chat and hug and catch up and of course eat.  We eat.  A lot.  So that was good.  Great to see all my nieces and nephews doing so well and they are all so sweet and funny.

We finalized our bankruptcy status.  Sort of.  We had our hearing, all routine, bla bla blah... except we did not have our 2010 taxes done, so we have to fax that in and when we do, we'll be officially bankrupt.  Yay for us!
This is a strangely good feeling.  I sort of wish we'd done it sooner, but maybe there is a bigger cosmic reason why we didn't and that's just ok with me.

We have to try to get Harley enrolled in big boy school before May to be able to get a discount on the summer rates.  I still haven't looked into several other possible alternatives because I just can't seem to make myself do this.  It's a simple and not very intellectually challenging process that many people who are not as equipped as I do all the time, but for some reason I am frozen.  Whatever.

My hub had a call back from a job that he applied for eons ago and forgotten about.   It is a fantastic Federal Investigator position in Colorado.  Woo hoo!  This came completely out of the sky.  They wanted him to fly out for an interview.  He did.  It went fantastically! He is simply itching to work for the guy he interviewed with, who is, and I quote: "The coolest guy ever"!  Have I mentioned we've been wanting to make our way out that direction for quite some time.   For many many reasons... but somehow could not make it happen.  It may happen.  We're hoping it may happen.  Some of us are even praying for it.

Meanwhile, said husband got offered and accepted a better position at the agency he is currently employed with.  YAY!  right?  Better job, more money, what could be wrong??  Well, the more money part may not happen because of our evil fucking governor whose name I can not contaminate my blog with.  You can look it up if you want.  He is the crook who is running Florida now.  Anyway, we are still hoping that some creative shell shuffling at the hands of our dear friends (who are the hubs higher ups at work) will magically happen and the money will appear....  I'm not holding my breath though.  The good news is that he does work with honest and lovely people who we adore and if there is any rock that this money is hiding under, I'm confident they will find it.  I'm grateful for them.  They rule!  hee hee.  Look at me, I made a funny!

We managed to eek out the payment of our 2010 property taxes, so that is a many splendored thing.  whew!  This living by the threads on the seat of one's pants is exhausting.  The excitement is just too much for an old woman like me.... but here we are.

We are still waiting to hear back from Colorado.  May take a while.

This week we had a delightful visitor from Germany.  A spunky 22 year old named Elisabeth.  She graced us for 3 whole days.  We had lively conversations about culture, politics, life, love and all the rest.... AND wine with dinner EVERY night!  I think I may reinstate the wine with dinner policy... But I digress...  I find it fascinating that her parents are younger than me by 4 years and her youngest sib is 14 years old.  And we, me and the old man have a 5 year old.  It just struck me as funny.  She was here because she is a pen pal to our good friend and ex client GW who lives on death row.  She had an opportunity to come and meet him, and she took it.  Thank God she did because we made a new friend in the process and she is just precious.  She came here on a learning expedition of sorts and to meet her pen pal.  She had lots of adventures and met lots of new friends in the process and I think she knows Florida better than I do now!  She's amazing!  I cannot imagine going to a foreign country alone at that age and visiting a maximum security prison!  Counting on the kindness of strangers and driving a rental all over the place on my own.  Kids these days!  So that was a fun and exhilarating whirlwind visit... unfortunately at my age, that also means exhausting!  We have more visitors coming from Ireland and somewhere else across the sea to visit inmates also.  These are the kindest most loving people you will meet.  Anyway, we are looking forward to that and I'm trying to rest up for the next round of visits.

Meanwhile I still desperately need a job, and nobody and I mean NOBODY is contacting me.  I guess my res is a little less than impressive.  sigh.  I have my coaching business all set to go, and for some reason cannot seem to make myself build a website or hustle up any customers.  This is due to some personal issues and also not being good at splitting my time up and my energy.  I still feel like full time mommy whose schedule is at the whimsy of of my hub and my child.  That is the truth, and I know it, but at the same time, other women are out there making it happen so what the hell is my problem? (Don't really answer that... it's just sort of rhetorical really.)  I truly do know what my problem is and I mean to correct it.   As soon as I clean up the breakfast dishes.

Hope you all are having a great 2011.  If you are reading this, I thank you for visiting as I am not the mad poster lately... nor am I the most exciting poster... I'm just regurgitating my reality on screen.  For some reason  this helps me to make sense of it.  Thanks for being my witness.

Love and Spring flowers to all,
pf

Winter's seeding

In more earth oriented, traditional cultures, winter is the time for germinating.  For all of our creativity, thoughts, ideas and aspirations to develop and grow stronger and clearer, while we remain less active.  Snuggling up with our blankies, our warm toddies, our books, pens, journals, computers or whatever our choice of extension and just being.  Allowing ourselves to enjoy the rest period nature imposes on us each and every year without fail.

Winter is waning now, and I am feeling like I did not quite make the best of the time I had to organize, plan and well, germinate and prepare for the Spring.  For the big GO!  The green light, the shooting gun, the blazing sun.... Nature's shove to action.

Instead, I stretch, yawn and roll over.  How about you?

Talk about Cosmic...

This one is for you Jojo.  For some reason, I began watching reruns of "Cosmos" on Netflix last night.  In doing so I realized I was fascinated with Pulsars....  So, in doing some random research, I came across this short video.  Whoa!  Check it out!


The Universe: Pulsars & Quasars from Darryl Rehr on Vimeo.

Nothing like a good glass of water.

These were my mother's last words.  

Strange and oddly profound in their simplicity... much like her.

Helen Domenica Recchi Oct 23, 1923- Jan 23, 2011

You are missed, but we will keep your spirit with us in our cooking, our love and our humor.

Safe passage, we love you.

The 7th Sense

Harley's new favorite show is something called Wild Kratts.  It's a mixture of cartoon characters and stories about animals, then real people and real animals are shown.  I'm not in love with the animation, but he seems to like it alright.

Today's show was about the Duckbill Platypus.  A fascinating creature. We found out that the DP has a 6th sense!  One that we don't have.  It has something to do with sensing the electrical output of what's around it through spots located on it's bill.  Harley calls this the "transporter sense".

It is part of Harley's nightly ritual to ask me if I know something as part of his settling down before bedtime thing.  He'll be real quiet for a few minutes sometimes, and I'll think I'm almost home free... then he'll pipe up with, "Mom, did you know...."?  (Some tidbid that he passes off as factual on whatever topic or  notion happens to be running through his mind at the time).  I mostly find this amusing and fascinating (on nights when I'm not grouchy or tired myself)  Tonight's topic was senses.  My new and improved understanding is that there are 10.  I was only told about 7, 8 and 10 though.  He's leaving me in suspense about #9... I asked if I could post about it.  He said "sure".  Then I had the idea to have him help me write it, so that is what we are going to do tomorrow after school.

He's pretty excited about it.  And honestly, I think the things that he says are much more intriguing and cosmic than anything I have to say... it could be because I'm his mommy and we are supposed to feel that way.
But I don't think so.

We'll be back tomorrow to elaborate further on the 10 senses and what they mean to you!
xo

Damn it's cold

So, our thermostat quit.  Or so we thought.  Hub tried to replace it yesterday and it appears that was/is not the problem.  It is cold in these drafty old poorly insulated houses even with the heat working.  Thank goodness we have not had hard freeze temps this week.... however, it is still colder IN the house than out.

Poor ole Harley.  He is such a trooper.  He slept donning his cute little Target winter hat which is soft as a bunny rabbit and has fabulous ear flaps that velcro together.  I slept with him and we had a small space heater to help and we were quite warm and snuggly.  Very hard getting out of the covers this morning though. UGH!  I'm too old for this shit!

In other news, I'm still looking for work and we are trying not to be anxious about our teetery finances.  Happy New Year to us!  I am trying to focus on things I am grateful for so I don't get sucked into the abyss of "Everything sucks, and then you die".  So here's my list:

I am grateful for these things:
My family and friends are relatively happy and healthy
I actually have a family and friends!
We have a roof overhead... and even with all the rain in the last few days, has not leaked... yet.  (We do have a nasty little leak in the hall).
The milder temps this week.
We have a space heater.
Ever is home and safe with her family.
The electricity is still working.
The cars are both still working.
I may actually find a job (AKA there are actual jobs out there requiring skills I loosely posses.)
No new negative action being reported in the middle east... that I know of.
We do have food and our sense of humor.
Harley and our kitty seems to be happy and unaffected by recent events.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Anything can happen!
I have a shiny new Xanax script.


Stay warm ya'll, and send those warm thoughts our way.
Peace, pf

THE Christmas list, and other goodies.

HARLEY's OFFICIAL CHRISTMAS LIST 2010:
1- Leggos
2- Train layout (Maybe North Pole Express)  
3- Toy Christmas tree, including star on top and lights
4-Toy SUN, to go with the hanging glow in the dark planets
5-Toy Farm (Cows, chickens and coop ah, hem, barn, pigs)
6-Stuffed Monkey
7-Train tunnels for Thomas layout (straight green preferred)
8-More cardboard blocks
9-New Train Puzzle
10-Train video
11-Train picture on a candy cane (?)  (Ah, yea, ok.)
12-Toy washer and dryer (Really?)  
13- A castle, with a King
14- Toy light and light switch (?)  My kid is so odd!
15-Another Snow Globe (A little more snowy than the last one and with white snow).
16-Five plastic plants (WHAT is this kid ON??!)
17-Compass 

So there it is.

I've written a million posts in my mind the past month or so, but I guess the writing thing is not as much of a relaxing outlet for me as I'd like.  I mean I do enjoy doing it, but I can't do it when my head is spinning.  Some people can, and it helps to clear things up for them.... me?  I just babble incoherently.  I opt to not share the babble too often, so my posting has become very intermittent.  If you are reading this, thanks for sticking around....

This is going to be what Ms Moon calls a brown bag post.  Just a little of this and a little of that.  Currently I am watching Sesame Street with my boy, Harley.  Well, I am half watching it.  Ironically, Elmo (Melmo) is on.  Ms Moon posted about her grandson's love for the red furry guy this very morning.  Mr. Noodle is on.  I hate that guy.  He is just so annoying and mentally challenged... I can't imagine why Elmo keeps asking this man to answer the big life questions, like:  "How do people eat"?  But, I suppose the preschool set enjoys slapstick and being smarter than a grown up once in a while, so there is that.

Our tree is lovely.  Just lovely.  I am also stealing glances at it, since it is right next to the TV.  There is something wrong with that, but it really just fits perfectly in that corner.... What can you do?  The boys decorated it this year without my assistance.  I was baking.  They did a marvelous job and the kitty has already knocked off a few of the bottom ornaments to "Christen" the holiday season.  It has officially begun, so says the cat!

The past week, I've been dodging mad texting drivers and pedestrians donning Santa hats, as I'm sure all of you have as well.  For some reason, I've only had a few seasonal melt downs... mostly in the traffic.  The stores, although crowded, were not at all horrible.  In fact, this year the Dollar Tree got it down!  They had plenty of cheap ass merchandise and cashiers a go-go.  No waiting.  Me likes.  I had one of the best random holiday moments to date on that trip.  So, there I was at the damn Dollar Tree, zoning out in front of some Whinnie the Pooh doo dads, when all of a sudden three beautiful black girls stroll up to my isle and one of them poses the question: "Why are we here again"?  To which another replied: "Um, I forgot."  Well, that was it for me.  I peered at them over my glasses, and busted out laughing, which started the lot of them chortling and belly laughing too, which I'm pretty sure spread down the length of the isle.  We were all just shellacked in an extra thick coating of seasonal glaze.  I finally replied as they were wandering off aimlessly, "You girls sound like I feel".  More laughter.  I have to say, that was hands down my BEST Dollar Tree experience EVER!  And to top it off, I got lots of stuff that I couldn't find in regular stores like: dollar Christmas wrapping paper, 2$ Christmas Snow Globe WITH a TRAIN inside (BONUS!!), holiday goody bags, mystery grab bags, a 1$ pairing knife, stocking stuffers galore, and oh so much more!  I got out for about 25 bucks.   UNbelievable!  Sigh.  Life is good.

In other more important news, nobody has had so much as a runny nose, much less the usual winter asthma.  This is a blessing more valuable than any other.  As far as we know. we and ours are in good health and of reasonably good cheer.  This is highly unusual, and much appreciated.

Harley and I were folding clothes today.  His job is to match and fold all the socks.  I taught him how and he adores doing it.  For some reason today, he got the notion to stuff ALL of the socks down his pajamas bottoms....  I am only mentioning it because it is so insanely goofy and inexplicable!   So, of course, I had to take a picture, because how can you not preserve that holiday moment?  I don't think it would be appropriate to post said photos, but they are quite hilarious in a twisted kind of way.  Kids these days.

I'll leave you all with a holiday greeting I received from my very conservative cousin.  I think it's quite funny and reaches across the table or the isle or whatever they call it.  Happy Holidays ya'll!

To My Liberal Friends: 

Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011 but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America  is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America  in the  Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Conservative Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!