Petit Fleur

Danger Zone.

2012-01-25T20:18:00.000-08:00

Sterling Archer and Lana Kane, my heroes

Spent all day out today. As in ALL freaking DAY!

First got my new tag. One great thing about the little county we live in is that there is NEVER anyone at the DMV or the Tax Collector's office... and if there is you prolly know them, and it's cool. So basically you're in and out in about 5 seconds flat. In fact, I was done before Harley finished his level of Angry Birds, which sort of annoyed him. Mostly because I am a mean mom, and won't let him walk while i padding. In fact I won't let him walk without the cover covering the screen. So, there you go. Lickity split, I'm tagged.

Off to school. Drop off Harley and rush to lunch with a friend. She brought birthday gifties which was charming.

Then back to school for more torture. I missed my volunteer day when Harley was sick last week, so I'm making up time to get our tuition reduction for the month. It really isn't bad. In fact, most days I love it, but I've been spending an inordinate amount of time there and am in need of a BREAK! Stayed till end of school then Harley and I went to return a movie to the library and pick up hay for the bun. We literally pick up our own hay. (The owner lets us take the scraps that they sweep off the loading dock.) It is quite the deal if you only have one beastly bunny and you're broke. It costs a small damn fortune at regular stores for a tiny package of Timothy hay. So yay me.

Then, off to Chickfile for some yummy junk food and ice cream. Then back to school for family meeting night. Hooray! They are actually kind of cool. The owner of the school and other interested parties bring food and drink. (I just couldn't wait that long to eat again. oink.oink) Tonight's school menu included: Veggie/tomato soup, cheese and crackers, fresh fruit, some kind of salady lookin thing, tiny burritos and chips with salsa. Lemonade to drink. All home made! Well, the burritos, the salady thing and soup were anyway. So, got through that and was only strong armed into being on one additional committee... This gives me hives just thinking about it. I don't even like the word "committee". But here I am, all committeed up. sigh. At least it's a good committee. It's the let's all raise funds to go to Puerto Rico for the international free school conference! hooray! I hope we get there.

Finally, time to come home. Hose off the child, tickle him to sleep and then the grand finale of my day. Wait for it............................................................................................................................................................

The latest bootleg episode of Archer, possibly the funniest show ever created. EVER! It is seriously nasty, sick, twisted and crude...relentlessly so, but I swear I laugh till I'm sore. I wish I had the nads to say half the stuff they do to people and just watch their faces contort in horror shock and disbelief! Stammer stammer stammer... heheheheh!

So, as you can see, it's been a full and complete day and I've sort of hurled my last marble as far as I could. And that can only mean one thing... MORE Archer! Or maybe sleep.... or more ARCHER!

Good Times

2012-01-16T07:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we were invited to a party of one of the girl's from Harley's school. We love love LOVE his school and most everyone involved with it. We made some veggie soup to bring as an alternative to the usual party fare... and because it was freezing outside! The party was actually AT the school. The parents of the birthday girl rented out the meeting hall room for the party. It was grand! The kiddos got to play on the playground and in the nearby woods. Lovely.

When all the kid party hoopla was over, the birthday girl's parents invited a handful of us over for a bonfire and continuation of low key celebratory hoopla and beer! Yea, it was good. We have not spent that amount of time in the company of others in I don't know how long. We spent a total of 8 hours with these people! They are just that good and fun. I had to tear the boys and myself away at 10pm. I just knew that although we could have stayed longer, as many folks were, we'd pay dearly today. Besides, I was beginning to feel a bit like the "things that wouldn't leave"! (Remember that LNL skit?) Anyway, it was just so much fun to be around cool and groovy adults and have enough kids to entertain each other so that you can actually enjoy being around the cool and groovy adults! There was turkey sausage chilly to eat and Quesadillas and leftover cheese and veggie plates from the first party. It was grand!

Then to top it all off, an old friend who used to be my sort of boss and his wife came! Turns out they live down the road. I haven't seen them in a very long time and they are just incredible folks. And the man who I actually met first and worked with brought a guitar, so there was bonfire sing a longs! whoot!

Harley busied himself with the other kids in the birthday girl's room playing with some of her new stuff, then they all jumped on the trampoline, ran around the yard looking for sticks, snacking and stuffing their faces with giant marshmellows that were supposed to be for roasting over the fire... oh well. By the time we got home Harley was half asleep. After Marc put him in bed he asked for me. When I got to his room, he was face planted in his bed, not having brushed his teeth or fed the fish! It was like looking at a tiny drunk! He hasn't passed out like that since he was a toddler. Seriously. It was good to have him be so cooperative at bedtime! I wonder if they'd let us come over for a bonfire every day? heh heh!

Newest member of our family

2012-01-10T20:03:00.000-08:00

Isn't she precious? Her name is Aurora Valentine. She has made me a great aunt for the second time! I am so excited that she is here! Unfortunately, she lives all the way on the other coast from us, so I'm not sure when I will get to HOLD her. Hopefully in the spring.

Anyway, I'm just enjoying the view for now and hopefully I'll get to talk to her mommy tomorrow. We have been having phone issues on this end and between that and respect for family bonding time, we have not made voice contact yet.

Feeling the love today!
pf

Holiday Hangover

2012-01-01T07:25:00.000-08:00

I have a rather king sized holiday hangover.... not from drinking or drugging or staying up late as in lifetimes past.... just from being an involved parent..... The presents have been opened, relatives visited, New years eve slept through, and now I just feel wrung out. I don't want to do much of anything but lay around and drink coffee and puts around the web and feel grateful and relieved that another holiday season has been happy and healthy... and that we got all of the the errands done that needed doing for the wee one, and we shared yet another joyful couple of weeks just bonding and being together.

It's an indescribably feeling to be in the midst of a joyful child at the holiday.... and at my age, nearly 50, it's also exhausting. At first it's energizing and I feel as though I run on pure joy and adrenalin (and caffeine, of course), but after a couple of weeks of that, the body, mind and spirit are just plain wore out. At least mine are. I feel like I could sleep for a month! But the light at the end of the tunnel is that school starts up again on Weds.

Things have changed immensely since I was a kid. Half the fun of Christmas was sharing your loot with your friends and vica versa and playing with all of your stuff (or wearing it, in the case of being a girl and receiving clothes) all through out the Christmas break time. I was cat sitting for a friend and on Christmas day when I drove into her apartment complex it was like a ghost town save for one boy child riding around on his brand new scooter with no body to show or share or ride with. It was heartbreaking to see. My child is not too different. We live in the country and all of his in town friends are out of town or busy with their parents doing God knows what. We've had to be his playmates for the past few weeks and play all his games with him and help him build stuff and figure out how to work stuff and and and.... It seems the neighborhood kid network is all but gone. Even my friends in town say the same things. What the hell?!!

I realize that as we become ever more expansive in numbers, we humans are becoming more and more isolated... I know this, and yet it just hit me really hard this holiday season. I am going to put some of my energy this year into changing that. I want my damn village! And my child would love it too... He is a people person and ceaselessly engaging. It's a wonderful quality unless you are someone who requires a modicum of down time. Then all of a sudden you find yourself saying things like: "Just stop talking for minute!" OR "Please, just stop.... stop... DOING things!" Then comes the outer body knowledge that you just said what you said to a six year old who has no concept of what that means because he IS movement, he IS verbage, he IS engagement and connectivity... He just IS! And you want to kick yourself for being such a dolt. But such is life. I apologize and explain that grown ups are a bit different that children and mommy just needs a few quiet moments to recharge her batteries. All is well again. Exhausting, but well.

Happy New Year everyone. May you always find the energy to keep on doing what you do, and being who you are. And I'm including myself in this scenario as well!

xo pf

NORAD report: Santa confirms that Japan is recovering nicely

2011-12-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

You've gotta love Santa Tracking by the US military.... I hope the Japanese really are finding their way out of the woods. Merry Christmas Japan.

Candy Canes for breakfast

2011-12-23T13:55:00.000-08:00

It must be the holidays, right?

So, this morning I raced out to get to the bank, which I believed was opened... and it was, whew~ I grabbed my coffee, my kid and my paperwork and dashed out. On the way out of the bank, I notices a bowl half full of candy canes! I was very excited because I had not had breakfast yet. Somehow this was satisfying. Harley liked it too, needless to say. A purple lolly AND a candy cane, that's the 6 year old jackpot.

We've been lazing around most of the rest of the day. We had a nice cup of hot chocolate and clinked Merry Christmas to each other. I had yet another candy cane with my Cocoa. It tastes so much like schnapps to me. I adore it! When I worked at Bennigan's about a million lives ago, we used to make Irish Coffee and float dark Creme de Menthe on top (The green kind) It looked so pretty, but I was sure it was gross. One evening I tried it, and I was SO wrong! Although, instead of Irish Whisky, I just prefer a little Kaluah. The point is if there is whip cream on top, you cannot ruin a coffee drink by floating CdM. It cannot be done.

Happy Holidays Everyone, and may you enjoy perfect health, happiness and peace for the new year.

Cheers!

From Death Row to Slapstick

2011-12-19T06:07:00.000-08:00

Saturday was the single most bizarre day I've had in quite a while. I began the day at the ungodly hour of 6am. I actually woke at around 445, but laid back down. That was really a dumb thing to do as I was seriously wide awake the first time and after I laid back down, getting up was completely horrid. So I got up and had some Jo and a smoke and was on my way to one of our lovely state prisons to see a friend who resides on death row there.

I used to write him and visit him so often, we had our own sort of language and ways of communicating which only we could understand. Abbreviations in our writing and references in our speech so that we could communicate freely when we needed to.... They are always monitored and watched and the tables are quite close to one another in the visiting "park". Some subjects are just off limits to others and so we had our ways of making privacy. Since the birth of Harley and the crash of the economy, I only get up to see him 3-5 times a year... (It is 4 hours round trip), and writing has become sporadic at best. It's hard when someone is still as important to you as they ever were, but you simply have so many demands on your time and attention and energy in the present right in front of you that your behavior would tell them otherwise. That said, we had a marvelous visit full of laughs and some tears. The men there are experiencing really hard times as the admin has totally changed thanks to our delightful governor. They are being mistreated and picked on constantly, but that's another story for another time. So I spent my whole day there eating bad canteen food and drinking freeze dried coffee. The best part is the pop corn. It's so buttery gross it's good! Really good!

On the way home, I got a call from a long time friend John, who has come to town to play in a reunion benefit concert with his old band. It has become a tradition for a bunch of us old friends to go and hang out and catch up, listen to GREAT music and dance our fool asses off for a few hours... and forget our real age! John and I discussed his getting me and my companion on the guest list (aka broke people's list) as the tickets were 23 clams each! Whoa Nellie, that's a half a tank of gas and almost a week of groceries for me. Since he has a rather large family, he didn't want to make promises since each band member only gets 8 free spots. He had been in town since Tues, and it was now Sat and I had not heard from him, so I figured he couldn't swing it and I was planning to home and collapse... So he calls to tell me he is leaving our names at the door and he hopes we can come... sigh... While I was really excited, it was also kind of a real mind bender to think I was going to be up till the wee hours that evening... especially since I had been awake since the wee hours that day! I haven't done this since my 20s, but ok, why the hell not?

So my oldest friend in town and I decided to go for it. I came home, played with Harley for about 20 minutes before I had to take a shower and leave again. We were supposed to bring canned food for the homeless as part of the benefit. I had planned to bring that, and my winter coat also, but it didn't happen. What did happen is that I freaked out when I could not locate my drivers license and my 20 dollars left over from the prison visit. You have to put your money in a plastic bag along with your driver's license and your car key. I knew I had it when I left, but I could not find it. Finally, I did. It was under a pile of something or other on a desk. But I spent so much dang time looking for them I was late and scatter brained and left without the food or my coat! DOH!

Ok, this is getting really long so I will continue this adventure in the next post. I know I'm not really good at this continuation thing. Jojo is probably still waiting for the conclusion of the Pooh fiasco post! (smile).... but I will do my level best to continue this ramble tomorrow. Seriously, this was a long damn day!

Here's to the Crazy Ones... yep.

2011-12-11T08:15:00.000-08:00

For Ms Moon

2011-12-10T09:56:00.000-08:00

I would like to share my version of the Hail Mary prayer... I love the rhythm of the Catholic prayers I learned and find comfort in that...the only problem is, I don't believe the words. So I made up my own. I am going to do this in a sort of trilogy fashion, in keeping with religious tradition... ironically, there are only 3 prayers that I like!

Hail Mary
Our Father
Act of Contrition

So without any further adieu, I will present the original prayer as I was taught, then my version... which is paganised to my liking.

Original: Hail Mary

Hail Mary, full of grace.
Our Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the time of our death.Amen.

My version:Hail Creation

Hail mother, full of grace,
The great mystery is with thee.
Blessed art we who create,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, life.

Holy Earth, mother to all,
May we nurture and sustain each other,
Now and forever.
Amen.

Gross is funny when you're 6

2011-12-03T06:55:00.000-08:00

In fact, it's hilarious!

Hi. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving holiday... Ours was good, but I was sick and not feeling especially grateful for that. My favorite part was coming home and getting my jammies on.

So much has happened that I wanted to write about, but did not have the energy or the whatever to do it. Here I am with a little time and this is what is on my mind.... ever so sorry....

Harley is deep into the gross stage of boyhood. Here is a little ditty he made up just for me the other day.

Smell my feet!

Smell my farts!

Suck eyeball juice!

Eat your boogers and you'll be happy!

I'm so proud....

And this is but one of many shiny examples that I can share about what is going on in my world right now. I mean, I know it's normal... it is normal, right? In any case, he is so much like his father in this regard it makes me shiver. He pushes things wayyyyyy to far. He does not know when to stop... or if he does, he ignores it, like a lemming jumping to his doom.

The worst part, is sometimes it's actually funny and I can't help myself. The mischievous gleam in his eyes when he's on a gross roll is indescribably cute. He is so delighted with himself, it's hard to "no response" him or to even keep a straight face. He said something yesterday in the car and I just cracked up. I told him he couldn't tell anyone I laughed at that or they'd kick me out of the mommy association.

The words are not the worst part though. It's the trying to get me to smell his belches and farts that is really disturbing to me. I have to put my foot down with that portion of the show, but I can see how it might be confusing for him. ("Well, if you thing THAT was funny, watch THIS!") I get it. I do. But seriously, this doesn't show any signs of letting up any time soon and I'm really kind of done with it.

I wish I had the stamina or clarity to write every day, because there have been many cool things that have happened since last I posted. I'm just undisciplined, period. I had a little time this morning and this is what is on my mind. Again... so sorry!

JUMP START LIFE COACHING IS NOW IN SESSION....

2011-11-14T10:36:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll,

Many moons ago, like maybe 4 or 500 or so, I got my Life and Business Coaching Certification and a business license and thought I was off to the races! Not so much... I wasn't completely done with full time mommying and quite honestly there are still days when I'm not quite sure. However, I have been stuck in the muck trying to get a website and blog going and linked up so that I had a place to point people and also could feel as though I am moving, even if I have no actual clients.

I'll save you the long version of how I struggled with this and that in the area of IT, and skip to the part where a long time friend of mine's son helped me to FINALLY get off the ground and out of the muck! I"m so excited I can't stand it! It is still a work in progress and not as slick and groovy as I'd hoped, but it's there and it's real and functioning.

If you'd like to check it out, I am open for comments and criticism. I would rather hear it from friends than have folks visit and quietly fade off because something was a turn off or unprofessional, or too uptight or whatever. So please, don't be nice, be honest! BTW I know it's a template site and it looks like one, I'm not too concerned about that because well, I don't have a lot of choices at the moment having to do it mostly on my own.... but any other comments are encouraged! Thanks. Oh, yes, and it goes without saying... but I will, if anyone out there wants coaching or knows someone who does, my rates are incredibly reasonable! ;-)
www.jumpstartlifecoach.net
blog.jumpstartlifecoach.net

It's no fair for me...

2011-11-04T17:47:00.000-07:00

We went to the fair last night. Harley was actually the first human being to walk through the gates this year... We didn't plan that, it just happened. He was stoked to say the least.

Then for some reason I went completely insane. Stark raving mad. I began reminiscing about the last time I was at an Italian Feast with my dad. We always had the Italian sausage with onions and peppers hogie... so in his honor, I did that. I found the only northern vendor in the whole damn place and because his name is Ray (said so on the van) it seemed serendipitous. That is my late brother's name also. So, I walked up and ordered a sausage sub, and he says "Just one?"

"Ah yea, my husband's a vegetarian. He don't know what's good."

So, I get my 6$ sammich and my 3$ lemonade and I'm off. It was good and hit the spot, but not as good as I remembered the one's at the Feast of St Margaret Mary in Cleveland. (Actually, I'm not sure about that name, but it sounded like a good Catholic one, so we're going with it) After a little while, it occurs to me, well, if I honored dad, then it's only right to honor mom and grandma too. Off for some fried dough with powdered sugar! It was a mission people, not like there was any choice involved. My mom and grandma used to make fried dough from the left over pizza or cavatelli or raviolis. They called it pizza Frit. (Not sure if the spelling is correct, but it's Italian for fried dough, or fried pizza dough) Every culture has it's version like the wedding soup and wedding cookie, so there you go.

After grounding that crazy fair energy with a bunch of saturated fat and nitrates, we went to the fun house, the Ferris Wheel, and the bumper cars (3X)!!!! All was well and we were having a fun fun fun fair time! But then, against every once of good judgement I had left, I was talked into the Tilt O' Whirl... Oh Sweet Jesus, was this ever a mistake. Marc, my beloved, somehow managed to convince me that you can control the tilt and spin by leaning... I fell for it because there is a ride at Disney called the Tea Cups, where this is actually true. Tilt O Whirl, not so much. In fact not at ALL. That dude at the controls was a Sadistic bastard too. I had my eyes closed after about the first 30 seconds and was holding on to the side with my arm straight out. Marc kept saying, "hold it in honey, hold it in" I must have been forest green by this time. (I am normally a pale shade of olive anyway, but I passed Olive after about 10 seconds.) Oh, and the best part, when ever the damn thing was spinning so hard like it was about to fly off the hunk of metal it was spinning on, every time I felt had to take a deep breath and hope I didn't toss my sausage, I'd here this little gleeful voice next to me shouting "THAT's what I'M talkin about!" Needless to say, Harley wanted to go right back on. That boy. I'm sure all the onlookers were laughing their arses off, as probably the evil controller. What fun!

When that 3 minutes was over, which only seemed like 3 hours, I had to sit down. I knew I wasn't going to puke at this point because I was not getting the pre-puke watery mouth thing... but I was far from ok. After a while a strange gentleman sat down at my table even though there was a whole other free table right there. He smelled weird. You know how when you feel pukey, you have bionic smelling powers. So it was time to move on and find the boys. I wandered in the direction they were walking to find the big slide, but I found a bathroom instead. After unloading my lemonade I decided to try them on the cell, even though I was sure they would not hear it. But they did! So we finally met up and by then I knew I had to go. So we parted ways which made me very neurotic because I have this unnatural fear of my kid disappearing into a crowd and never found again. But even so, I had to trust that neither of them would get so distracted as to loose track of each other.

Then I turned into one of those sad (or funny) people you see leaving fairs and carnivals sometimes. Sort of hunched over holding both my mouth and my stomach and walking as fast as I possibly could. And something I noticed is that MANY of the food vendors are located on the fringe where you have to pass by them to get out. This was the most challenging part of my grand exit, but I finally made it out of the gates intact. Sort of. Then it was the looooOOOOoong ride home.

I made it home and was in bed about 10 minutes when I got a call from my ex. who was worried because I'd fallen off the map. I do that. So, we had a lovely chat while I was drinking a carbonated beverage, and by the time we were done, I felt much much better. Oddly though, this morning I felt sort of hungover. Slow and stupid.

When the boys got home they told me of all their adventures and all the strange creatures, both two legged and four legged they saw. All the junk food THEY ate, plus they came in the door with tri-colored cotton candy. Sigh. Thank God I couldn't smell it. That's all I know. That and they stopped putting cotton candy on sticks. It now comes in a bag, which is probably more practical, but I don't have to like it.

One last thing that is worth mention. The chap that was manning the "Headless Woman Exhibit" HAD to be more frightening than she. He was a scary and angry looking dude with a shaved head and one of those bad ass spider web tattoos that was allover one side of his head and I think stretched a bit onto one side of his face. There are lots of rumors about what the spider web means, and I won't speculate... but MANY of the guys on the row have that tat... Although I have yet to see one on a head before. So that's my story.

My favorite sign at the ahem... protest?

2011-10-26T16:03:00.000-07:00

If you live in Florida, you know how sardonically true this message is.

The Spirit of the Blues meets the Ghosts of Halloween....

2011-10-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

This photo was copied from the official Sauce Boss Blog. Check. It. OUT!

There was a Halloween production at my son's school tonight. The most fun-tastic school in the entire world. They put on a dinner theater for all of the parents and families and teachers. It is called The Hard Bite Cafe They were grrrrreat! Their T shirts were a spoof of the Hard Rock with a big bite taken out of the image, complete with blood drippings.... Eeeewe!

On the menu this evening:

Appetizers

Pollinated Brain Bits (popcorn with nutritional yeast)

Witches Nails (Bugles)

Bread

Zombie Fingers with Butter Bugs. (Bread sticks with butter topped with poppy seeds and sunflower seeds)

Salad (Select one)

Eggy Eyeballs (No explanation needed)

Baby digits with Caterpillar Pate (Cottage Cheese and pesto with 5 baby carrots strategically placed)

Entrees

Puke (Never did find out what that was)

Blood and Guts (spaghetti and red sauce)

Tick and Nits (Black beans and rice)

Desserts

Dirty Worms (chocolate pudding with chocolate crunchies and gummy worms!)

Snowman #2s (Flavored ice cubes)

Cow Patties (Multigrain raisin cookie)

Drinks

Bile (apple juice)

Hmoglobin (Fruit punch)

H2O-NO!

It was pretty funny listening to all the adults very seriously ordering their blood and guts with a side of Eggy Eyeballs and a glass of bile! I guess I'm easily amused.

The play was really sweet and funny. It was about a story of the origins of Halloween and involved a ghost family and a human family living in the same house. Most of the actors were girls and they were so stirrin' it up! Even the ones who are normally quiet. Then after the play they all sang a song, The Twelve Nghts of Halloween. With each night a different younger kid comes out dressed like the present.in question and parades across the stage, only to do it again on the next verse... ie (Vulture in a dead tree, 2 fat toads, etc...) It doesn't sound as funny as it actually was. Especially because the kids were kind of getting a little bored by the end I think so they started improving and making weird faces and gestures and etc... It was a riot!

The motivating force behind this marvelous event is the school's math teacher, Miss Karrie. She also happens to be the daughter in law of two dear friends from a life time ago, which also makes her the wife of their son, Floyd, with whom I've had the pleasure to work with in not one but two dining establishments. I LOVE THESE PEOPLE. They are so awesome, they are the Whartons. I got to chat with Ruth (Momma Wharton, who is as lovely as ever), and catch up. We talked about our "babies"-- she's got 2 others, one in LA and one in NY. Everyone is well and happy.

You may be asking yourself how this ties in with the rambling encounter of my evening and the the Spirit of Blues and etc.... well, I will tell you.

As it turns out, Harley was a chef in the little kid portrayals in the song.... He would come out on day 5 with a chef's hat and a pan of worms. (Five cooooooooked worms!) And on the last one, he'd got to eat a worm! Which made everyone gross out and laugh. After the show, I was talking to Bill Wharton, who is not only husband to Ruth, and father to Floyd, he is also an internationally known and loved Blues musician, aka The Sauce Boss. He informed me that the chef hat my son was wearing is a genuine sauce boss hat! To which I said, "You know, it's only more proof that my kid is the coolest!" We laughed. He told me that Karrie had called him and asked if he had a chef's hat. He looked over his glasses at me in the way that he does when he's being silly and says "yea, I've got a few!" So Harley got to wear a hat imbibed with spirit of the blues and which has probably traveled more places than I ever will, and he got to do it on stage, hamming it up just like that Boos himself!

That rocks people.

I love you zingo-99

2011-10-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

Harley and I fell into this little game as many people do with children during night time wind down...

"I love you"
"I love you too"
"I love you three"
etc...

This has been going on since he was about 2 years old. Naturally it evolved into the hundreds, thousands, millions, billions,trillians zillions, bazillions, katrillians and krillians and so on to infinity (Which he really doesn't get yet) We've used outer space and the powers (squares and cubes, etc..) And well, you get the idea.

Tonight this is how it went

"I love you beyond the end of outer space mom. I love you with a number that is so big, I can't even explain it. It's "way funky... Nobody could ever count that high, but even if they tried, it would takes years and weeks!"

"That's a lot of love Harley."

"Yea, I know. You know what it's called? Zingo! Zingo-99. That's the last number in the whole world ever mom, and that's how much I love you."

"I love you Zingo-99 too. I know about the Zingo, but didn't know the name, only the feeling part.".

"You DO?"

"Yep, I feel it too just like you said, but I didn't have a name for the feeling.. I think it's so cool that you gave it a name. And it's a really great name, Zingo!"

"Hey Mom, wanna hear a dinosaur joke?"...

A strange evening, but a good one.

2011-10-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

Yea, so I went to the Rally in Tally for the big "Occupation"... It was just like all the other demonstrations in town, if you don't count the pro choice demonstration back in the early 90s. It sucked. There were about 20 people who most of the mainstream would consider off beat or motley looking standing by the side of the road with signs. That's it. It was very uninspiring, and the energy was non existent. If anything the energy was very low with more than a hint of anger.

I saw an acquaintance who was taking part in a circle group of some kind... at first it looked like yoga, but no, they were learning how to run grass roots meetings successfully... Too bad they didn't have this lesson before the demonstration actually began.

There were no bathroom facilities that I could see. There may have been some portos out in the parking lot, by the camp site, but I don t really remember. That is the part they got really right. I'm sure "they", whomever "they" are had to apply for permits and etc, as there were lots of tents in a roped of green area near a parking lot where we were allowed to park! Down town! Imagine, free parking down town! That was cool, but not really worth the price of admission if you ask me.

I tried to get into it, I really did. I found a tambourine and shook it crazily each time a car honked in support. No objects or obscenities were hurled from the windows as they sometimes are. There were also no food vendors, musicians or the crackling energy of solidarity and possibility. Only a few geeks, freaks and hippies standing around wanting to make a difference with no leadership or organization. It was not really plugged in the media here at all as far as I could tell, although there was a sign on one of the tents that said "MEDIA", so I guess they were there. There was no marching or chanting or networking or even friendliness among the people who turned out.... so we stayed for half an hour or so before bequeathing my tambourine to a young child and finding another stray tambourine for her brother to jingle and jangle. Something that I felt was better suited for a child and would hopefully keep them from being bored to tears.

At that point we (me and my friend) left and went home to brainstorm about her first upcoming research paper. She is in the doctoral program at FSU in strategic management. It's strange how we met. We met at one of our mutual best friend (Monique's) funeral. I was Monique's best old timer friend and she was her most recent. Moni and I sort of lost track of each other quite a bit over the years, but always reconnected as if no time had passed. Anyway, that is how I met Ellen and now we are becoming very good friends. Oddly, Monique and I went to our first demonstration together. It was that pro choice rally I mentioned above in the 90s. She and her boyfriend (turned widower of 20+ years), me and my squeeze and another couple went and raised total hell. We brought brought a thermos of bloody mary's I believe. It was great and energizing and felt like it was making some kind of difference, raising awareness or some damn thing.... This one did not, but it kind of felt like a full circle moment now that I was taking Ellen to her first demonstration.

When we got to Ellen's we did that brainstorming and I think it helped her to just talk it out with someone, even though I'm not a REAL biz person. Then we spent the rest of the evening drinking beer and reminiscing about Monique and tell tales of her antics and brilliance and how she changed both of us for ever. It was really good as we both don't have many if any others who truly understood her to the same degree. We both needed it.

So now I'm in the Ms Moon camp. I think I don't do protests anymore. Or at least not until or unless I know there is some kind of organization behind it. I'm too old for this shit. But the evening was saved by friendship and beer... and sometimes, that's as good as it gets.

Occupy!

2011-10-14T07:12:00.000-07:00

This is what I'm doing tomorrow. Can't WAIT!

It's a wonderful life

2011-10-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

This is the front porch, as I have no photos of the back...

Lately, I have decidedly given up the worry portion of my show. I am enjoying my life more and trusting that the future will take care of itself. I am working towards things, but I am not going at those things with the ball busting mind set that I've become accustomed to. Normally, I feel like my world is a sweater which has a loose string and the string is being tugged on by something or someone. At any moment the sweater will unravel and leave me standing there with handfuls of unstitched yarn. When things do not move forward as I plan for them to, I become panicked, then feel guilty. I'm not doing enough, and what I am doing is not fast enough. Sound familiar?

Sitting on my back porch, I was admiring the view of my freshly whacked yard. Appreciating that I can see all the way to the fence now. Just days ago it was overgrown will stray bamboo, weeds and loads of underbrush. Mr. Fleur decided to fix the weed whacker and get out the lawn mower. What a difference in the feel and view of the landscape. I was sitting on the porch just breathing it in and appreciating it.

My website is flailing, but I've decided to press on with other kinds of PR for my business and not get so hung up on the fact that I paid my 125$ for a domain name, and then proceeded to chose an interface (Wordpress) that is completely counter intuitive to me.... I am just going to work around it, till I figure out what the best next course of action is. It goes without saying that if any of you have any ideas or suggestions, bring 'em~ I'm open that way...

I volunteered at Harley's school today. What a school it is! He got to ring the bell for math class. He and I walked the perimeter of the school (quite a large area... Harley is nothing if not thorough) ringing the bell and hollering "Math with Ms Carrie! Math with Ms Carrie!" Ms Carrie rocks that school. She is the BEST and the most fun teacher of math ever! I adore her, and so does Harley. She calls him the mathematician. He has his very own math folder and all of his work is kept there. He loves having a math folder. I love that he loves it!

Next it was on to cooking class with Mr. Louis. He is a character. Today's menu items included: Brown Basmati rice with veggies, and a fruit salad, which he calls Plum Delight. The kids washed all the food and cut and chopped the pieces. The school gets free organic food from the local coop. The stuff that doesn't sell... I forget the name of it... Anyway, he goes on to explain what rice actually is and where it comes from. Also the differences between brown and white rice.... He alone handled the flame, but every child participated and got to chop or wash. Better than most cooking shows! I was tempted to stay around for the eating, but I really had some things to take care of here at the house. Harley didn't want to watch the cooking part anyway and wandered off.

I did get a tour of the whole school, which for some reason I had not done till today. There is a bike path, a HUGE soccer field, and a huge meeting hall, complete with stage...then there is the front field and a garden area. Each kid gets to choose a plot of land to work in the garden... which is filled with Mexican Sunflowers. Jan, the garden lady explains that the bees and butterflies love the flowers so much, that although they have become a tad invasive, we work around them so that the critters can have their fill. I think that's nice.

Now, I am just enjoying the fact that I can share this with whomever wants to know, and realizing that it's ok to be a housekeeper and involved mom. To do that kind of work and really BE THERE takes a lot of concentrated energy and dedication. If I am not the juggling kind, that's ok. I'll work outside of home when and as I can, and till then, we'll skate by as we do. And we do, somehow we always do, whether I worry or not... so why bother? I'm going to enjoy this gift as much as I can from now on.

May you enjoy your gifts also.

Peace.

Thou Shalt not kill... unless it is State sanctioned, of course. Then it's ok.

2011-09-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

This is who I am thinking about today. Troy Davis, his family and this broken runaway machine we've created. When I got the email last night that they had actually gone through with Troys execution I felt like I'd been punched in the chest. All I could do was cry.

I then prayed in my way for Troy Davis, his family and for the ignorance to be lifted from the hearts and minds and consciences of those who directly participated in this travesty. That what they did or more importantly FAILED to do, will haunt them in their alone hours. That no Jesus or man made interpretations of his message will ease their broken psyches. I wish that nothing short of helping to stop the continuation of state sanctioned group serial killing will end their misery and soul suffering. That's what I wish with everything in me.

I've been involved with Death Row Advocacy for many years now. The process and the system and the unyielding resistance of those in power to own up to their mistakes and quit hiding behind antiquated dogma is sickening. The worst kind of projectile fucking vomiting sickening. How ironic that those who scream the loudest for blood are members of "The God Squad" as a dear friend described it. Quick to play God with someone's life... If they are true believers, then according to their own dogma they would know that eternal damnation is waiting for these "criminals" like a big nasty dead end... and why is their jobs to make whatever is left of their life hell on earth? Satan tried to outsmart God and sort of take his job... and look what happened to that poor sucker!

Troy, I'm glad this is over for you, but sorry about how it ended. Safe passage and peace to you in whatever comes next.

He's a little bit Country....

2011-09-19T06:23:00.001-07:00

She's a little bit rock and roll.

No, not Donnie and Marie Peer and Amanda, our hosts for Saturday evenings football festivities. They are not brother and sister and if they knew the metaphor I just used, they'd both barf in unison. No question. I'm not even sure of why I used it... I guess I was thinking she's got a little South FL girl in her and he's got a little mid-west roughian in him, but above all, they both embody the whole live and let live, old hippie mentality and heart. Somehow that led to... a bad metephor. So we had a lovely time at their house and Harley got to cheer for our team! He thought it was extra strange and exciting that not only was he not required to use his inside voice, neither were the adults! Everyone was screaming! I could see the wheels turning... "Ah, these are my people, life is good!" He now wants to know when we are going back. The rules are different at Peer and Amanda's.

Harley and I left early before the real cussing and nonsense started. I heard tale that Mr. Fleur was coaxed into shot gunning a beer by the "young ones"... Of course he beat them hands down... years of practice behind him. ("I'm so proud", she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm) Anyway, now the young ones know which gorilla beats his chest the loudest. I'm surprised they didn't have a pissing contest too. Or maybe they did. I'm just glad we left before that bafoonery started.

Yesterday, we were slightly hung over. Some of us more slightly than others. We had a fun day running around town and just making fun of each other. They temperatures are incredibly mild for this time of year in the panhandle. It's been very yummy. Then last night as we were getting ready to watch a movie, we got a call from Mr. Fleur's brother.

Apparently his daughter was unawares that she wasn't due to make her earthly arrival till Oct 10th and made quite the unexpected appearance last night! We did not get the call that labor was happening or anything, it just HAPPENED! So this was a real shocker for us. We got no stats, just a weary phone call from dad saying she's here, everybody's good, call ya later. My sis in law, was rumored to have been in hard labor for a whopping 30 minutes. Lucky her. I can't wait to meet little Fiona and give them all hugs!. Babies are so magical and yummy.

In other news I FINALLY got my web hosting situation under control for Jump Start, so I'm totally stoked about that! (I have been procrastinating because of financial woes and sheer terror... more of commitment and of filling out forms than anything... I know ridiculous) Anyway, it's done! As soon as it's up and running I will make an announcement.

And finally, we have HOT water for the first time in months and I do mean months... as in at least 4-5. It's a long story. The short version is that we thought we needed a new water heater as ours was a million years old. Turned out, all we needed was a new element. Now the water is so damn hot we have to keep adjusting the temperature so that Harley doesn't scald himself! We can now take back to back showers if we want, we can do dishes in HOT water and laundry too! Ah, life is good. My fondest prayer at present is that all the people in the world without clean or running water, get it. And also that they get to take hot showers someday too.

So, that's it. That's the Fleur weekend report. Hope your weekend was groovy too.

Aha moment... and addendum to THH

2011-09-15T06:09:00.000-07:00

So, as per usual, my petit was correct. He said I had a love rock stuck in my chest (The place on the body representing heart chakra, and where the body traditionally holds sadness according to Chinese Medicine) I noticed the date of m post Sept 10. My brother dies on Sept 9, 1999. It was a sad, tragic and stressful situation for all of us, but I feel sometimes that i bore the brunt of it. (True or not, it's how I felt and still do sometimes). Anyway, again, my body and apparently my son knew this before my consciousness did.

sigh.

What a kid.

Tiny Healing hands

2011-09-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to post a great many things, and, well, it's too much... but I was reminded of something today that I really feel I must share.

My son, Harley is just one of the most cosmic children I have ever encountered... About 2 or 3 weeks ago, I helped a friend move. I was the one on the bottom while walking a very heavy couch up a staircase. The wooden arm was pressed against my chest for quite a while as it was a "one stair at a time" kind of process. The next day, when my chest began hurting, it took me a while to figure out what it is. Of course because I smoke, whenever I have abnormal chest activity I think... heart? cancer? But the odd thing was (perhaps because the nerves in the area were triggered) I was also getting anxiety attacks or what felt like anxiety. So, next on the list is the boob thing. My boobs are rather hefty and when I sleep on my side, they pull the muscles on the side that's facing up... Anyway, I'm thinking all these crazy thoughts, when I finally realized that, oh yea, I had a couch resting on my chest for about 10 minutes yesterday, DUH.

Ok, so Harley hears me explaining that my chest hurts. He says that he will fix it by putting his magic on it. He didn't realize what he was doing, but it was Reiki. Or at least some version of it. He put his hands on my chest and closed his eyes and kept them there for about a minute. Then announced that I was all better... and I WAS! I was so blown away I just could hardly speak or express myself because I was so overwhelmed by what had just happened. When asked how his magic works he said that he has many hearts and he uses them to gather all his love, mix it with his magic and "squirt it out his hands!" (Of course, how silly of me!)

Ok, so I still have this little lingering cold or allergies or whatever, which I wrote about yesterday... so this morning, Harley tells me that I have a "love rock which is blocking my magic." Then he proceeded to explain the problem in detail. This is a direct quote as well as I can recall:

"Everything must be moving for us to be healthy. ..The blood, the magic and the love. The love rock has to be broken up for your love, magic and blood to move. There is a waterfall that runs from your boobie down to your legs and it is working fine, except the rock is blocking things up.

Then he began to again rub my chest. Then oops, got to have skin to skin contact, so he puts his little hand under my shirt and keeps it there for a bit. Then he says he needs a drop of water. He puts the drop of water on with his finger, then holds his hand there again for a bit. Then he announced that he is finished! I am well, but the rock will take 24 hours to break up completely, so I should be good as new by tomorrow.

He then tells me that "late kids" like him are extra magical. (I had him at 42) He said that late mommies are extra magic, and they give that to their kids when they are inside of them... WHAT?!!!! What the hell do I do with this? I have a kid with real shamanic talent and I have no clue how to keep this alive... I mean I do, and yet, I feel unqualified to do it without assistance of some kind. Anybody know anyone who can provide some guidance? I'm feeling insecure about my ability to keep this magic boy moving int he direction of his talent... What a blessing he is.

Illin

2011-09-09T14:35:00.000-07:00

There is a very odd 2-3 day flu going around... I either have it, or I have allergies. I'm told the ragweed is terribible right now, but it could be anything. We have one of the highest concentrations of pollen anywhere and our weather has changed over night. Not that it won't go back to hot before it's all over, but for now it's mild and even cool in the evenings and mornings, so sniffles are happening.

I've been a big phat lump of poured out flesh the past few days. (I can't take credit for that line, it comes from the movie Broadcast News. If you have never seen it, do. It's great. Holly Hunter, Will Hurt and many others. It's fabulous. anyway, not much here, except for Harley is all adjusted to his new school. He's doing great and I just LOVE it! It's the best school ever, and I adore all his teachers and schoolmates.

Maybe my stuffy nose scratchy eyed exhausted self will feel better by tomorrow. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Cheers.

Crappe Diem

2011-09-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

I heard that last night on West Coast Live and it cracked me up. I'd forgotten how much I LOVE listening to music and was listening to the Midnight Special... which oddly, does not come on at midnight. After the MS, came on the West Coast Live. It was an incredible show. They had a jug band called Devine's Jug Band. The singer has this retro sound which makes her voice sound like an old Victrola. If you want a treat listen click on the link above and listen to Sadie Green.... It's good fun! I'm so happy to have more music back in my life while I'm just sitting around and doing other things. It makes me sane.

I will eventually get to the next part of the dreaded Poo Story, but you know, so much has happened since then, I'm not really feeling it anymore. I write really great posts in my head when I'm taking my cigarette breaks or driving someplace, but then I get in front of the computer and POOF! No more info. I really need to keep a tape recorder on me. I hate having insights that I think I will never forget, and then I do... and then I have to have them all over again, if I'm lucky that is.

We are just having a lumpy day today. It's been raining most of the day. Harley did a one man circus performance for me. Acts include, but are not limited to: tight rope walking, baby riding a bike, the giant horse ride, pulling a rabbit out of a hat, a bit of tumbling, lots of bowing and some card tricks. It was marvelous. Then we just watched movies, played video and card games and I did laundry and am tickled to say that the power STAYED ON! Praise BE! I'm especially stoked because I was doing our sheets, which sorely needed doing and would have been really annoyed if the process was interrupted after I finally got to it.

I finished my course outline for my Intro to Coaching workshop! I'm pleased as punch about it. I think it will flow nicely and is just enough. I've been thinking about doing this for ever and for some reason, have not.... maybe it has to do with Kindergarten starting and having more quiet time to actually concentrate. I'm really looking forward to digging into my new career and getting my website up and on and on. It feels like mercury is finally moving out of retro.

That's all I got for now. It's been so rainy I can't think straight. I just want to hibernate.

Happy weekend everybody.

Oh.... HEEEEEELL YEA!

2011-08-27T10:14:00.001-07:00

This is worthy of hiring a babysitter. I'm so there!

Oh the Humanity...

2011-08-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

I'm always blaming things on Mercury being in retro, and this time, apparently, I am correct. I just got confirmation from Ms Moon, via Kati that yes indeedy, Merc is in retro. UGH! I KNEW IT! And I find it ever so much more irritating and unfair that this is happening when it is so damn hot hot HOT! This is when people snap and commit crimes of passion or just plain temporary insanity or whatever. Their blood boils, they are likely oxygen deprived from all the damn humidity and suddenly just can't take one more bit of madness and just explode in some kind of volcanic rage. This is also one of the key reasons that I believe that everyone who wants to purchase fire arms should HAVE to pass a psychological test and be background checked. At least south of the Mason Dixon anyway.

------------------------------------WARNING-------------------------------------

If you are sickened by poop talk or are faint of heart or easily grossed out, then you need to STOP reading at this point. You really really do.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now then, you have been warned. If you are still with me, just take a deep breath and be glad you were not me on Monday 8-15-11.

I had "one of THOSE days" a few days ago. I wanted to write it out immediately to express some of my frustration and angst while it was still raging, but I was so wrong, I couldn't relive it till I'd settled down some. I just cold not. The reverberations of whatever strange karma I had going are still hanging around because some twerpy hippie wannabe kid tried to charge me a fucking dollar for a glass of water in a locally owned cafe which I frequent often and spend LOTS of my freaking money on Popsicles and coffee and just what ever. I let him have it. And he deserved it. I will talk with said owner and if things do not change I will NOT be back there. Period. But that was yesterday and just a residual wave. The real crazy happened the day before and while a lot of it, is riotously funny, it was also so damn frustrating to have to keep on "taking it" like a donkey in a hailstorm.

It all started out when I slid on some sick bunny poo... (I should have known right then and there what kind of day it was going to be, but I troopered ahead as we all do) You have to understand that sick bunny poo smells every bit as bad as dog poo, but is different in that it is extremely sticky~ Seriously. Ever after scraping it, I had to really work to get it all the way off! Like with mad amounts of soap and a nail brush! I frustratingly scraped some of the hard stuff off the floor with my fingernail and a paper towel.... It took me most of the day to get the smell off of my finger. GEEZ!!! Really?

Ok, so that began my day. Then it just went on from there, poop being the central theme. Not the bunny poop, but my son's poop. Sigh. Ok, so in honor of back story, my son has had gastro probs practically since birth and nobody can figure it out or offer any remedy that actually works, so he is going to a special clinic where they get to the bottom of these kinds of things. They needed a poop sample because although we have done this particular test several times in the past, they were running a few different tests that were not run the first two times. Have I mentioned I ABHOR this process? Well, I do. It is unsavory and messy and just a pain in the butt for all concerned. Pun intended. Ok, so I've been putting off collecting the poop for months now and our appt. is coming up early in Sept, so when Harley declared that he had to go potty, I asked, poop, or just pee pee? He replied that he was not sure yet. So.... this usually means that yes, he does have poo also. So we got all the peeing over with before attempting to poo. Thank the Gods that this special clinic has this process DOWN! Instead of giving you a couple of small jars with which to put the poop in and leaving you to your own devises to catch the poop, they actually give you a tupperware bucket with a little contraption to put under the seat to keep in in place on the potty! Woo hoo! I LOVE THIS FEATURE! Of course it has written in large blue letters "BIOHAZARD", so that is kind of funny to be running around town with, but I can easily live with that comedic part of the show. So, we were successful on the FIRST try catching the poo! Glory be and hallelujah! That began the journey of the biohazard poo. This is when things turn strange...

To be continued....

Growing up G-man

2011-08-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

Chubby Bunny!

Big boy, excited about a new book...

( I love that my kid gets excited about books.... God love him!)

As you can see, my baby has become quite the little man. A real boy! He is such a special critter, as all wee ones are. My wish is that all parents appreciate their children as we do Harley. Harley is not his real name, it is his blog name. I don't like to give too many details online because of an icky person in my past. But suffice to say, that Harley, aka Gman is indeed growing up in his own unique way.

On today's menu was a special form of mommy agony. He just started summer camp. (I know, a little late for that)... but... anyway, we thought it would be good to get him a little acclimated to his new school and some of the kids and teachers he'll be seeing regularly. It has mostly been a good thing, but he still has a bit of the separation sads. He did great yesterday, but today was just a little bumpy again.

He was waiting outside for his teacher, Mr. Louis to come back. Mr. Louis was getting his glasses, then they were going to set up for movie day. Gman seemed fine, so I kissed and hugged him goodbye and noticed his eyes were turning red and moist... But he bravely said good bye, so I began walking... hoping if I didn't make a big deal of it, he would become distracted and drawn into the goings on around him. But I couldn't help it, I had to look back. There he was with tears welling, but not a full on cry. I walked back and said why are you sad? He said, "I'm just used to you now". I said, that's ok. You will soon get used to all your friends here and your teachers and it will be easier to say goodbye. He said: "I know, it's ok". Then out came Mr. Louis and another dear child who called to him: "C'mon G-man, let's go!"

Then I get one last "Goodbye Mom, I love you!"

"I love you too Gman, see you at 2:30!"

"Okay Mom!"

Sigh. It's so big to me, that he is learning to not only express his emotions, but acknowledge them and regulate them... and use them to his advantage rather than his detriment. He clearly knew he was sad, but that it was also ok and would pass. Then we both sort helped sooth his sads a bit... but I feel certain, he didn't need me for that, although it was wanted and appreciated. "He's a fine boy" as our neighbor Israel used to say... And I'm certain he's going to be a fine man one day as well.

That boy.

Update on Matt... Mad Love Boy.

2011-08-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

This is a message sent form my niece/Matt's primary advocate, and it is so GOOD! I adore the fact that he flared his nostrils at the smell of coffee! That's our boy! WHOOOT!

Matt's doing pretty well right now. He was alert and awake most of the day today. He got a lot of stimulation and didn't seem to tire of it as quickly as usual. We have been exercising his arms and hands, giving him different things to smell (coffee, dryer sheets, peppermint, etc.), and of course talking to him and playing music. He was really good about focusing on the person talking to him and he did a lot of mouth movements in response. He flared his nostrils and moved his tongue out for the coffee beans, and I hadn't seen his nostrils do anything until then. His face was a little more expressive and his mouth movements look more like words are being formed, although we still can't understand anything. He has also been moving his left leg voluntarily.

He was scheduled to have surgery on his spine tomorrow morning, but as of this moment it looks like that will be postponed. He had a fever Thursday afternoon that spiked pretty high (103.8 at the worst), so there was concern about infection. Since then, the fever has been under control and his white blood cell count hasn't increased. They even removed some white blood cells, tagged them, put them back in, then did a white blood cell scan to locate the tagged cells. The results didn't reveal an infection site. If they decide to go forward with the surgery tomorrow (or set a new date/time), I'll send a quick update

Swingin

2011-08-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

Harley and I are listening to a lot of swing music lately. My dad and my uncles used to play it, and play it well. They grew up with it and so did I. It's really hard to be worried or sad or upset or anything icky when you are listening to Benny goodman or Glen Miller. It really is hard to feel anything but good and breezy and happy.

I've been thinking a lot about this, and I really think that this music should be played at the start of all meetings. Middle East peace talks, in congress (perhaps in place of the pledge of allegiance, or maybe afterward). At the beginning of school days on the loud speaker after announcements, what have you. I think it would create a mood of general buoyancy and lend itself to the spirit of cooperation and the willingness to acknowledge one another as humans and not objects.

If I had lots of money, I would start a supper club. I would require proper dress, jackets, no hats, and etc... and I would employ a swing band for dining and dancing. It would be totally retro, like stepping into a time warp. Well, except for hair and fashion I suppose. Swing music and lyrics are uplifting with a certain magical quality...and it is my belief that when we are uplifted then we are in our highest state and we do better for ourselves and our communities. Not to mention, it's just fun to have a reason to dress up and do something a little different.

That's all I have this soggy Sunday.
Cheers.

Matt update and Harleyisms

2011-08-03T06:55:00.000-07:00

Most of you, my dear itsy bitsy exceptionally groovy cult following know that my nephew was recently in a horrible car accident. The result of which makes me more than ever want to have a disintigrater gun so I can rid the world of texting drivers.

Matt continues to improve, albeit ever so slowly. He is now opening his eyes more frequently, but cannot see or speak. (He has a trach, so that explains the not speaking) He does move his mouth and tries to speak, but as long as he has the trach, I'm pretty sure that won't be a possibility. He can hear and follows his families voices. My niece, who is Matt's best friend, is also a trained singer. She sings to him often. He prefers the slower songs and will fix his eyes in her direction when she is singing. When she sings songs with a faster rhythm, he turns away, obviously wanting to be soothed and not entertained. He will need the back surgery as his spine is messed up. The good news is that there is only a little swelling on the actual spinal chord. They will do the back surgery next week sometime. (Any prayers, good thoughts and well wishes are welcome!)

The other good thing he does is he can do certain commands, which lets us know he can understand and respond to what is being asked of him... Jesus, all I can think of when I hear this is that Alfred Hitchcock episode... you know the one, where a guy is pronounced dead, but he is just paralyzed. You can hear his thoughts as he's figuring out that nobody knows he's alive and at the end he manages to move his pinkie finger. Ugh! Anyway, he is following simple commands: "Close your mouth" , "blink twice", etc.... and he does have feelings in his legs, so Team Matt is very pleased with all of this progress. I am a little concerned that he is unable to see and wondering if this will be permanent, but in the scheme of things, there is much more good than bad. So YAY!?

On to Harleyisms:

While playing a computer game he says: "Observe the master at work!"

Did I mention that he wants to use my beads to make the astroid belt in his room. (Ms Moon's lovely Lily and Owen gave him hanging planets for his birthday and he adores them.... and wants to add a hanging astroid belt to go with!) sigh.

We have to do deep breaths at night to calm down at bed time. We've made a game of it. Every night it's the same: Can you give me ten? Ten? I can do a hundred! But can you do ten? Of course! If I can do a hundred, I can do ten! Ok, then prove it! And he does.

Harley: "I want to make a website and call it, Healthy Food, Healty Body. There will be a kid section with foods like (soy veggie) hot dogs and green beans and an adult section with Broccoli and Eggplant. Then there will be a section for everyone with things like Pizza, Hummus and Oatmeal."

While talking about beating his dad at a card game I said, "Sounds like you kicked his butt!" Then I was informed it was a close game so I retracted my statement, and dad said, "Oh no, he kicked it!" Then Harley chimes in: "Yea, I did kick it, just not very hard." :-)

Ok, there were others that were shorter and funnier, but you know, my head is blank. I just wanted to get something down for posterity. Hope ya'll have a happy hump day!

Peace,
me

Me and Lady Macbeth... We're like this.

2011-08-01T19:07:00.000-07:00

Yes, our Lady of constant hand washing has nothing on me today, in fact I think we're now soul mates in misery as I found myself muttering things like: "Out, damned spot" and "A sorry sight", etc... And why were my hands so clean today? Well, mostly because I've been sick and not very attentive our pet Bunny, Miss Tallula. I have been out of it and just sprinkling more litter atop of her old pooey litter for more days than is right. My karmic payback is having to clean her pooey hoo hoo. (I'm sorry, but I cannot call a bunny hoo hoo a vagina or a Yoni or any of the other erm womanly politically correct terms) She's a bunny, she has a hoo hoo! sigh. To her credit she just sort of laid in my arms and let me run warm water over her and wiper her up.

How did we discover that the bunny had this problem, you ask? Well because Harley stepped in a pile of unsavory bunny poo which is mushy and smells gross like regular poo. He thought it was cat puke, but no no, it was the dreaded sick bunny poo. So, after I got him in the shower and cleaned his feet, I had to then clean the bunny, her very roomy cage, the rug and the hardwood floors (In two areas). Did I mention the part about how she laid in it? Yea, so it was on her tummy too.

If you are still reading, I'm sorry I didn't warn you that this was going to be a beyond distasteful post which serves no purpose other than to illustrate to anyone who is willing to listen how ridiculous life can be at times. Also, to vent. I apologize.

G'night, and may you never have to clean sick bunny poo.

If there is anything better than "Pimp my Shrimp" Pizza, I don't know what it is

2011-07-24T15:29:00.000-07:00

So, my MIL has been in town and it's been fabulous! It is really great to spend time with her and she has been a constant companion to Harley. Harley has been sick and is just now recovering, which means I am now sick. It is just a summer cold, no biggie. Lots of lost energy, groaning, sneezing and runny eyes and nose. TMI? Sorry.

We have played games of all varieties all day long. It's been overcast, so it's been perfect. Video games, board games, card games, tile games, mind games... whew! I'm gamed out!

We ended the day at our fave local pizza joint which was having a special on Pimp my Shrimp pizza. Oh... MY...GOD! It has Alfredo sauce, fresh basil, rosemary and garlic, and of course shrimp, cheese and red onion. TO DIE FOR loveys! Put that together with a side spinach salad and an IPA and it's just perfect! Although I have to say it's been the first time I've been out for pizza in ages where I didn't eat myself sick. I paced myself and only had one beer and 2 slices. How awesome am I? I can't remember feeling this satisfied without having that "Thanksgiving hangover" feeling.

Hope everyone out there is having an equally groovy Sunday.

The one eyed fox, the runaway car. and the burger-less orphan

2011-07-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

Last night was filled with nightmares. Bonafide GD Night Terrors! This is an unprecedented event for me. I may have one once in a while, but ALL NIGHT?! The first one woke me up with a full on anxiety attack, which took me over an hour to get under control. It goes like this:

I was playing some kind of game with my son in a car, I guess it was ours. We were parked on the side of the road in my old neighborhood which is mostly quiet, but our street was bordered by two really busy roads and also at peak traffic times many people came to use our streets as cut throughs to the busier roads. Ok, so, we are parked and playing a game of some sort. I had to use the bathroom or something and on the way back was distracted by a flower or bird or something. I broke my stride for just a moment, and in that moment, my son managed to get the car out of park and the car went racing BACKWARDS into the busy crossroad and finally crashing into a tree in front of someone's house. I was grateful the car was not hit by cross traffic, but could feel how afraid Harley was and went racing to get him out and hold him and assess his injuries. It was just before I reached the car that I woke up in a sweaty palm panic, breathing heavily, heart racing the works. sigh.

Next on the menu was a one eyed gimpy fox. (Wonder where my subconscious found that!... all you readers of Mss Moon know that her chicks have been stalked by a mangy ole fox...) So in this particular night terror some girl comes running out from one of the bedrooms of our house screaming and crying. "Oh God! There's a fox and blood and fur and ... OH GOD!" So I run in the room that she came out of and sure enough there is this old mangy, one eyed fox. He actually has two eyes, but one was blind. It was either closed or gauged out, can't remember. He had a a sort of male lion's mane which made him look quite comical and harmless and just too weird to be a threat. None the less I was scared of him as he was a wild creature with fangs and all. There was my kitty on the other side of the room. He was trying to get her and I chased him off. Kitty looked to be fine. I did not notice the fur and blood the girl was screaming about. Kitty ate something off of the floor, and when she turned half of her body was just missing. Mauled and nothing but this sort of clear gelatinous ooze was visible... and some organs! I became insane. Not believing that my poor three legged cat... the one that has been under house arrest to keep her out of harm's way since her real life accident, has been attacked and let's face it, killed in our own home! It was too mind blowing. I remember yelling for Marc and he would not move from in front of his video game. I was incensed, smacked him in the head and took a Xanex.

I'm going to save the burgerless orphan story for another time, because I just can't relive all these damn things at one time. I'm already beginning to feel exhausted and anxious.

Also, Harley's asthma is kicking in from the mold count, which I'm sure is high. He coughed all night. When he finally settled down, he woke up because of bug bites he'd received earlier in the day. Up again for Bactine and powder.... I was basically up all night, so these were more like Opium dreams that anything. It is amazing though how the mind categorizes and connects events and symbols from waking life int he dream time. I know where just about every last one of these thoughts and images have emerged from, but what I don't understand is why the hell my mind rearranged them into the insane stories that it did. Why did it include some things and not others? Why were some thoughts and images linked in the same dream instead of in one of the others? It is a curiosity.

Now it's onward into my day! I feel like I need to go back to sleep, but I wouldn't dare.

Soggy Boggy Boo

2011-07-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

Well, the drought is definitely over. We've been getting our normal rainy afternoons almost every day for the last week or so (I think) I'm starting to remember now that we live in a sort of bog here in NF. It was starting to feel more like a dessert for a while there. (Or is it desert? I get those confused. One is a hot place with sand and one is a sweet treat... My spelling sucks.) And you know, at 48 years old, I should be embarrassed by that, but I just don't really care. Ten years ago I would have been, but now not so much. I just accept it as one of my quirks. Yea, that's it, I'm quirky!

I'm also practicing being more of a conscientious blogger/journal-er person. I have found a few of my old book journals from back before I met my husband... Some really fascinating stuff. Stuff that Id forgotten all about. Some I didn't really remember even after reading it! It was really fun reading (Not that I'm a writer mind you, it is the thoughts, ideas and threads of exploration that I tend to meander down that capture my imagination... and I realize I was not as "out of it" as I thought.) And let's face it, who doesn't like reading about themselves? But really, I just want to document some things along the way and most of it has to do with Harley.

Speaking of Harley, today was a great day. We went to our friend's house for some hanging out. Harley got to play with a dog and walk the dog. We got all sweaty on our walk and went for a dip in her wave pool. This is the coolest damn thing ever! It makes bubbles like a hot tub and also makes waves for those who like to swim in place~ Harley LOVES it because he can stand up all around the sides as there is a ledge that goes around the perimeter, and if he goes directly in front of where the waves come out, their current sweep him off to the other end of the pool. Great fun! He called it the "rushing waves". We had a grand visit, caught up on each other, ate cherries and left just after a nice downpour. Oh, and did I mention, Harley also got to fill the bird feeder? That is one of his all time FAVORITE things to do. We LOVE visiting them. They are so fun. AND if that was not enough, my friend gave me a pair of very high end sandals... can't remember the name, maybe Keen or something like that. Anyway, they just didn't work for her, so she gifted me with them. And all I brought for her was a cherry flavored ginger beer. sigh. In Bull Durham, Susan Sarandon says "Bad trades are part of baseball":... and to that end I guess bad trades are part of friendship (sometimes). It will all even out somehow though.

So then it was off to Chik-Fil-A for an 85cent ice cream cone and play time in the kiddie tunnels and indoor slides. While we were there, I found a copy of today's paper that someone left behind so I have the Friday happenings mag now and I also scored 55cents... another tiny morsel of abundance left behind by someone who apparently didn't need it. So I guess you could say it was my lucky day.

It is still raining, but the power has remained in tact. (A very unusual event in these parts) So we are enjoying our electronics and just chillin out. Letting the bunny hop, and the kitty snuggle and wind blow.

Hope you all are well.

Bad Mommy Day

2011-07-14T19:23:00.000-07:00

Harley was sick today, so I blew off the 2 hour screen time rule, big time. It was a cloudy and slightly stormy day. We hung out and watched "The Land Before Time" videos ALLLLLLLLLL day literally. Yea, we took snack breaks and such... We even played one honest to goodness card game. But really, I read my book and sporadically got sucked into the vortex of cartoon dinosaur babies saving the day. I also snoozed quite a bit and caught up with my sister.

Finally got it up to make some dinner, and now I'm horizontal yet again. I guess some days are just like that.

We got good news about Matt in the late afternoon. He is not talking or anything, BUT he is responding to pain stimulus in his feet and stomach. (He flinched when he got a shot today) He cannot see yet, but he can hear apparently and knows when family is in the room. His heart rate goes up. His infection is almost gone and the respirator is down to 35 percent. (Which is a good thing I understand) His vitals are good, as is his oxygenation level. Baby steps.

I've decided I'm going to be the family member who stays unabashedly optimistic. That's my role and let's face it, I always root hardest for the underdog, so... there you go.

Thank you so much for checking in and for your encouragement. It means a whole lot to see the words you write. Be Well.

Watching and wating

2011-07-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

It's odd how when someone you love and are so very connected to is in a state of suspended reality... You go in and out of some kind of self preservation Buddhist induced detachment, living your life as best and earnestly as possible, but it's always there.

Then, flash back to reality moments. Convince yourself all over again that yes, this HAS happened and IS going on despite the reality of your day to day... which in your mind, you can convince yourself that it hasn't happened because your life, your child and your husband require you to remain present and attentive. Everyday. Then there are the moments when you get some down time, and it comes back like some kind of strange flashback and then you have to realize again, that yes, this is not a nightmare and you are awake.

Meanwhile, my son is learning his multiplication tables by watching PBS and playing their computer games. We also play lots of board games and games that he makes up. (Yea, he's pretty brilliant) He made up a game where there are 4 different colored crystals (actually they are magic markers) Each one represents a different power.

"One contains the power of love"

"One contains the power of slowing down"

"One contains the power of going fast"

"One contains the power of water"

In order to get the crystals back to their rightful places and release their special powers you have to perform certain tasks. For instance:

Put together a puzzle

Win a race (Sometimes they are slow races)

Win a board game

Win a memory game

Each task places a respective crystal (marker) in it's rightful place. When all for are placed, you win! Easy peazy.

Then it's back to waiting for news about Matt. Checking my computer for the update emails. This is what's going on. Sometimes we swim or go shopping or do laundry. And then I wait some more.

This is the last message I received from my niece on Weds. after Matt got is tracheotomy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Matt's out of surgery and it went well. Yay, Matt! Yay, surgical team!

He now has a tube in his neck instead of his mouth, so he'll be more comfortable. All his vitals look good, and he's sedated. He also finally gets to "eat" his vanilla protein drink after a long day of no food. (Why is it vanilla if it goes straight through a tube in his nose and into his stomach? I have no idea.)They removed the collar around his neck for the surgery and apparently now it can stay off. They will continue to monitor how his brain is progressing daily using a transcranial doppler. It's a very cool thingamabob that basically works like an ultrasound. If Matt is in good enough condition, his neurosurgeon would like to replace the skull and perform surgery on Matt's dislocated thoracic vertebrae next week.Thanks for all the support and positive energy.Love and hugs"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's it.

Thanks to everyone who has left sweet comments or emails or remembers Matt in their prayers. It means a lot to me.

One of my wishes today is that everyone take a deep breath and take in their reality. Love what is and who is in their lives and indulge completely in his/her conscious experience of now and enjoy the living hell out of it.

Peace.

Matthew, whole and healthy

2011-06-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

I've decided that this is the only real thing that I can do... picture Matt happy and healthy and feisty. Send all of my healing thoughts and energy his way, especially during sleep time. This is the best time for astral communication as our conscious mind is not so in control.

Anyway, here he is:

Matt the sexy cowgirl!

High School mop top

Matt, Me and Harley in 2006... He was my first family member to meet Harley.

Reggie (Watts) and Matt

Yesterday we made great progress and things were looking more hopeful than at any other time since the accident. Today, we are fighting ARDS. This is a serious set back and we are doing all we can to slow down the stagecoach and reign in the medical staff who keep trying to take him out of his medically induced coma before his body is ready. They are miracle workers, but they are human, and most all of us agree that he needs to hold steady for a good couple of days before trying to wean him again.

Meantime, we are visualizing whole, happy, passionate, fun loving Matt. Sending him and his immediate family all our love and support.

Rage on Matt, Rage on.

Request for Miracles

2011-06-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

As per usual, I've been wanting to write for some time but just can't seem to. This happens a lot. In the interim one of my nephews, whose diapers I used to change, Matthew, has been involved in a serious accident. He's one of those larger than life characters that is hard to describe. He has the genius gene that runs on both sides of his family tree, and the showman gene that runs on our side. He's as intense and outspoken as they come and just as loving.

What happened was he was, on his way to work he ran out of gas someplace in LA. Turns out his gas gauge was broken, so anyway, he was waiting on the side of the highway for a friend to come and bring him gas. In the time it took for the friend to get there, his car was hit in the rear at high speed by another vehicle. The car rolled over several times and his spine is severed between C3 and C4 and his brain is swollen. He was was thought to be dead on the scene, but the EMTs got his heart beating again. Then we were told that he was essentially brain dead (no activity)... but then oops, there was activity. So, maybe just brain resting..? They have performed some kind of procedure to relieve the swelling and he is getting all kinds of anti inflammatories to keep that under control. We all thought the first day that they were just waiting around for the 3 day grace period till they could pronounce him brain dead (Cali law), but he keeps improving. Small improvements, but unmistakable ones. He is now trying to breath over his ventilator, which is a good sign. I think they are considering doing a trach in the event he should wake and try to rip the ventilator out. (He would so do that)

So, we've been told that a full recovery is likely too much to even hope for, but lets face it, two days ago he was "brain dead"! So now the big questions are, how long was his brain deprived of oxygen and how badly if at all was the injury to his spinal chord... sigh.

What I'd would love is if anyone out there has a major miracle story they can tell me about someone whose beat the odds. I know it happens and it happens more frequently than we know about. I want to know about it. If you have anything to share that can help me keep faith that this may have a good outcome, I'd love to hear it. I crave to hear it.

Thanks for listening.

I'm speechless.

2011-05-15T16:39:00.000-07:00

This was in our local movie trailer section... I'm happy to report that the pharmaceutical industry will not be capitalizing on my dysfunction in this area. I hope not yours either.

Easter Madness

2011-04-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's the Easter Bowie. I hate our camera... that was almost a great photo!

Harley with his long awaited Bubble Gun. He's been asking for one of these for ever.

We were up with the rest of the parents who celebrate this holiday, at the crack of dawn practically.... ok, 7am. It felt like the crack of dawn! Harley was so excited to find his eggs that he completely disregarded the huge Easter basket loaded to the gills. (Just goes to show ya... we're the one's that screw em up with all the materialism... All he wanted to do was hunt for eggs while the bunny hopped!) Well, once he got a gander of the bubble gun he changed his tune, but only slightly.

We had one of the best Easters I can remember. We are not religious or anything like that, so it wasn't to do with that. It was just good. We had a great family weekend. Marc got Good Friday off, so that was a bonus. So we spent that day with Harley, then Marc went to the local dog track to kick some poker ass... and he did. Thank the Gods.

Saturday, Harley and I went to the prison to spend time with our friend Gary and met his friends from Ireland who were visiting also. I've been in correspondence with these people for years, but never met them. It was grand! All the kids were coloring, playing dominoes, snap, and generally horsing about and having so much fun they didn't want to leave... Can you imagine? It really was a special day.

Then Sunday was Easter and that was a dream. It was just a smooth, harmonious, do whatever you want kind of day. Then Easter evening we went to a good friend's house who hosts an annual egg hunt on his property. It was fabulous! You can let the kiddies roam free and know they are safe. Adult beverages and sweet treats and yummy dip type things with yummy chips and and and,,,, It was just plain ole goodness..

I hope yours was fine too. Happy Spring!

The Boy is alright.

2011-04-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

So, a week or so ago I'm at the local health food grocery store... the only one of it's kind in the city I live in for YEARS until the recent opening of an Earthfare, but I don't know, that place sort of smacks of corporate chain. (Which is not ALL bad, but there is a plastic-ish/Barbi sort of feel to it if you get me) Anyway, I'm really digressing... I was IN the local REAL deal Health Food Grocery with my son Harley, when a middle aged woman approached me in the cereal isle.

"Excuse me, but, is that your child"?

"Why yes. Yes he is, why"?

"Would you tell me what sort of formula you gave him?"

"I didn't. He's never had any formula at all".

"Really? Well what DID you use"??! (She asked, wide eyed and donning a look of true amazement, genuine curiosity mixed with hope and dumbfounded wonder)

I simply looked at her and stammered, and I'm sure I was looking at her with a similar expression except that I was slack jawed as well...
"Um, uh, well... I..... nursed.... him"? (Phrasing it sort of like a question so as not to shock her into oblivion)

Eyes EVEN WIDER and MOUTH making a LARGE O, she says,
"OOOOOOoooooooooooooooooOOh! I'm so focused on finding soy free formula for my grandson, I just... OooooOOOOOoooh!"

We both had a HUGE laugh after that! I mean really? REALLY? I could see this possibly happening at any of the marts or commercial grocery stores, maybe even Target, but really, the Health food grocery store? If it hadn't been so funny I'd have broken down into tears with the absurdity and sadness of what the whole exchange represents about our culture. sigh. Thank the Great Spirit for humor! Speaking of humor...

If you want to laugh your ass off, (Steph, you will like this) invite a young Bulgarian woman to stay at your house. Then, watch as your 5 year old son, who is obviously and hopelessly smitten with said Bulgarian, tries like hell to tell her pre-K jokes and tickle her funny bone. *AKA flirt! OMG! This was definitely one of the funniest real life dark humor situations we've had round here in long time! Featuring such classics as the "knock knock joke- banana banana banana banana orange, and What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence"... First of all, most kid jokes are just plain not funny. Silly maybe, clever MAYBE, but rarely in my experience funny. The funny part is their glee in telling it and waiting for the over exagerate reaction, right? Well, if you throw in that your audience is a shy young adult with little experience with kids, and speaks another language, you've got a recipe for a tough room! He'd tell the joke, silence and look of concentration and consternation on our guest's face as she tried to figure out why this is funny. JUXTAPOSE: A look of anticipation glee and hopeful release of the giggles on Harley's face. Marc and I fill the silence with our appreciation for the irony of the whole situation (aka raucous laughter), which finally seduces the real audience into compliant participation! BooooeeeYA! Some things just don't translate, but laughing... every time.

Speaking of booooeeeya, Harley says to me the other day in reference to the bickering of his dad and me...

Harley: "You know mom, I know the way to stop arguing so much..."
ME: "Really? I'm dying to know, what is it?"
Harley: "Just agree more"!

And you know, there is truth to that. My boy. He makes all the absurdity some how alright, fun even.

The New Year is kicking my @$$

2011-03-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

This is Cat me... with a grown up beverage, but it really kind of sums it all up!

It's been a while since I've posted so I don't know if anyone is still out there... but I'm going to do this anyway, just so I can remind myself that it's not my imagination... lots is happening everywhere and our place is no exception.

The new year started very well and mellow as far as I can remember. Nothing really mind blowing. Then my mom got very sick again around mid January. She fought hard and rallied a few times from her bout with cancer and we thought she might regain some quality of life and be here a while longer, but that didn't happen. She died the day after my birthday... She did not want a memorial or funeral or service so the family got together for a weekend to just be with each other... and chat and hug and catch up and of course eat. We eat. A lot. So that was good. Great to see all my nieces and nephews doing so well and they are all so sweet and funny.

We finalized our bankruptcy status. Sort of. We had our hearing, all routine, bla bla blah... except we did not have our 2010 taxes done, so we have to fax that in and when we do, we'll be officially bankrupt. Yay for us!
This is a strangely good feeling. I sort of wish we'd done it sooner, but maybe there is a bigger cosmic reason why we didn't and that's just ok with me.

We have to try to get Harley enrolled in big boy school before May to be able to get a discount on the summer rates. I still haven't looked into several other possible alternatives because I just can't seem to make myself do this. It's a simple and not very intellectually challenging process that many people who are not as equipped as I do all the time, but for some reason I am frozen. Whatever.

My hub had a call back from a job that he applied for eons ago and forgotten about. It is a fantastic Federal Investigator position in Colorado. Woo hoo! This came completely out of the sky. They wanted him to fly out for an interview. He did. It went fantastically! He is simply itching to work for the guy he interviewed with, who is, and I quote: "The coolest guy ever"! Have I mentioned we've been wanting to make our way out that direction for quite some time. For many many reasons... but somehow could not make it happen. It may happen. We're hoping it may happen. Some of us are even praying for it.

Meanwhile, said husband got offered and accepted a better position at the agency he is currently employed with. YAY! right? Better job, more money, what could be wrong?? Well, the more money part may not happen because of our evil fucking governor whose name I can not contaminate my blog with. You can look it up if you want. He is the crook who is running Florida now. Anyway, we are still hoping that some creative shell shuffling at the hands of our dear friends (who are the hubs higher ups at work) will magically happen and the money will appear.... I'm not holding my breath though. The good news is that he does work with honest and lovely people who we adore and if there is any rock that this money is hiding under, I'm confident they will find it. I'm grateful for them. They rule! hee hee. Look at me, I made a funny!

We managed to eek out the payment of our 2010 property taxes, so that is a many splendored thing. whew! This living by the threads on the seat of one's pants is exhausting. The excitement is just too much for an old woman like me.... but here we are.

We are still waiting to hear back from Colorado. May take a while.

This week we had a delightful visitor from Germany. A spunky 22 year old named Elisabeth. She graced us for 3 whole days. We had lively conversations about culture, politics, life, love and all the rest.... AND wine with dinner EVERY night! I think I may reinstate the wine with dinner policy... But I digress... I find it fascinating that her parents are younger than me by 4 years and her youngest sib is 14 years old. And we, me and the old man have a 5 year old. It just struck me as funny. She was here because she is a pen pal to our good friend and ex client GW who lives on death row. She had an opportunity to come and meet him, and she took it. Thank God she did because we made a new friend in the process and she is just precious. She came here on a learning expedition of sorts and to meet her pen pal. She had lots of adventures and met lots of new friends in the process and I think she knows Florida better than I do now! She's amazing! I cannot imagine going to a foreign country alone at that age and visiting a maximum security prison! Counting on the kindness of strangers and driving a rental all over the place on my own. Kids these days! So that was a fun and exhilarating whirlwind visit... unfortunately at my age, that also means exhausting! We have more visitors coming from Ireland and somewhere else across the sea to visit inmates also. These are the kindest most loving people you will meet. Anyway, we are looking forward to that and I'm trying to rest up for the next round of visits.

Meanwhile I still desperately need a job, and nobody and I mean NOBODY is contacting me. I guess my res is a little less than impressive. sigh. I have my coaching business all set to go, and for some reason cannot seem to make myself build a website or hustle up any customers. This is due to some personal issues and also not being good at splitting my time up and my energy. I still feel like full time mommy whose schedule is at the whimsy of of my hub and my child. That is the truth, and I know it, but at the same time, other women are out there making it happen so what the hell is my problem? (Don't really answer that... it's just sort of rhetorical really.) I truly do know what my problem is and I mean to correct it. As soon as I clean up the breakfast dishes.

Hope you all are having a great 2011. If you are reading this, I thank you for visiting as I am not the mad poster lately... nor am I the most exciting poster... I'm just regurgitating my reality on screen. For some reason this helps me to make sense of it. Thanks for being my witness.

Love and Spring flowers to all,
pf

Winter's seeding

2011-02-05T09:41:00.000-08:00

In more earth oriented, traditional cultures, winter is the time for germinating. For all of our creativity, thoughts, ideas and aspirations to develop and grow stronger and clearer, while we remain less active. Snuggling up with our blankies, our warm toddies, our books, pens, journals, computers or whatever our choice of extension and just being. Allowing ourselves to enjoy the rest period nature imposes on us each and every year without fail.

Winter is waning now, and I am feeling like I did not quite make the best of the time I had to organize, plan and well, germinate and prepare for the Spring. For the big GO! The green light, the shooting gun, the blazing sun.... Nature's shove to action.

Instead, I stretch, yawn and roll over. How about you?

Talk about Cosmic...

2011-01-30T11:53:00.000-08:00

This one is for you Jojo. For some reason, I began watching reruns of "Cosmos" on Netflix last night. In doing so I realized I was fascinated with Pulsars.... So, in doing some random research, I came across this short video. Whoa! Check it out!

The Universe: Pulsars & Quasars from Darryl Rehr on Vimeo.

Nothing like a good glass of water.

2011-01-26T09:36:00.000-08:00

These were my mother's last words.

Strange and oddly profound in their simplicity... much like her.

Helen Domenica Recchi Oct 23, 1923- Jan 23, 2011

You are missed, but we will keep your spirit with us in our cooking, our love and our humor.

Safe passage, we love you.

The 7th Sense

2011-01-11T20:25:00.000-08:00

Harley's new favorite show is something called Wild Kratts. It's a mixture of cartoon characters and stories about animals, then real people and real animals are shown. I'm not in love with the animation, but he seems to like it alright.

Today's show was about the Duckbill Platypus. A fascinating creature. We found out that the DP has a 6th sense! One that we don't have. It has something to do with sensing the electrical output of what's around it through spots located on it's bill. Harley calls this the "transporter sense".

It is part of Harley's nightly ritual to ask me if I know something as part of his settling down before bedtime thing. He'll be real quiet for a few minutes sometimes, and I'll think I'm almost home free... then he'll pipe up with, "Mom, did you know...."? (Some tidbid that he passes off as factual on whatever topic or notion happens to be running through his mind at the time). I mostly find this amusing and fascinating (on nights when I'm not grouchy or tired myself) Tonight's topic was senses. My new and improved understanding is that there are 10. I was only told about 7, 8 and 10 though. He's leaving me in suspense about #9... I asked if I could post about it. He said "sure". Then I had the idea to have him help me write it, so that is what we are going to do tomorrow after school.

He's pretty excited about it. And honestly, I think the things that he says are much more intriguing and cosmic than anything I have to say... it could be because I'm his mommy and we are supposed to feel that way.
But I don't think so.

We'll be back tomorrow to elaborate further on the 10 senses and what they mean to you!
xo

Damn it's cold

2011-01-06T06:47:00.000-08:00

So, our thermostat quit. Or so we thought. Hub tried to replace it yesterday and it appears that was/is not the problem. It is cold in these drafty old poorly insulated houses even with the heat working. Thank goodness we have not had hard freeze temps this week.... however, it is still colder IN the house than out.

Poor ole Harley. He is such a trooper. He slept donning his cute little Target winter hat which is soft as a bunny rabbit and has fabulous ear flaps that velcro together. I slept with him and we had a small space heater to help and we were quite warm and snuggly. Very hard getting out of the covers this morning though. UGH! I'm too old for this shit!

In other news, I'm still looking for work and we are trying not to be anxious about our teetery finances. Happy New Year to us! I am trying to focus on things I am grateful for so I don't get sucked into the abyss of "Everything sucks, and then you die". So here's my list:

I am grateful for these things:
My family and friends are relatively happy and healthy
I actually have a family and friends!
We have a roof overhead... and even with all the rain in the last few days, has not leaked... yet. (We do have a nasty little leak in the hall).
The milder temps this week.
We have a space heater.
Ever is home and safe with her family.
The electricity is still working.
The cars are both still working.
I may actually find a job (AKA there are actual jobs out there requiring skills I loosely posses.)
No new negative action being reported in the middle east... that I know of.
We do have food and our sense of humor.
Harley and our kitty seems to be happy and unaffected by recent events.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Anything can happen!
I have a shiny new Xanax script.

Stay warm ya'll, and send those warm thoughts our way.
Peace, pf

THE Christmas list, and other goodies.

2010-12-23T15:49:00.000-08:00

HARLEY's OFFICIAL CHRISTMAS LIST 2010:
1- Leggos
2- Train layout (Maybe North Pole Express)
3- Toy Christmas tree, including star on top and lights
4-Toy SUN, to go with the hanging glow in the dark planets
5-Toy Farm (Cows, chickens and coop ah, hem, barn, pigs)
6-Stuffed Monkey
7-Train tunnels for Thomas layout (straight green preferred)
8-More cardboard blocks
9-New Train Puzzle
10-Train video
11-Train picture on a candy cane (?) (Ah, yea, ok.)
12-Toy washer and dryer (Really?)
13- A castle, with a King
14- Toy light and light switch (?) My kid is so odd!
15-Another Snow Globe (A little more snowy than the last one and with white snow).
16-Five plastic plants (WHAT is this kid ON??!)
17-Compass

So there it is.

I've written a million posts in my mind the past month or so, but I guess the writing thing is not as much of a relaxing outlet for me as I'd like. I mean I do enjoy doing it, but I can't do it when my head is spinning. Some people can, and it helps to clear things up for them.... me? I just babble incoherently. I opt to not share the babble too often, so my posting has become very intermittent. If you are reading this, thanks for sticking around....

This is going to be what Ms Moon calls a brown bag post. Just a little of this and a little of that. Currently I am watching Sesame Street with my boy, Harley. Well, I am half watching it. Ironically, Elmo (Melmo) is on. Ms Moon posted about her grandson's love for the red furry guy this very morning. Mr. Noodle is on. I hate that guy. He is just so annoying and mentally challenged... I can't imagine why Elmo keeps asking this man to answer the big life questions, like: "How do people eat"? But, I suppose the preschool set enjoys slapstick and being smarter than a grown up once in a while, so there is that.

Our tree is lovely. Just lovely. I am also stealing glances at it, since it is right next to the TV. There is something wrong with that, but it really just fits perfectly in that corner.... What can you do? The boys decorated it this year without my assistance. I was baking. They did a marvelous job and the kitty has already knocked off a few of the bottom ornaments to "Christen" the holiday season. It has officially begun, so says the cat!

The past week, I've been dodging mad texting drivers and pedestrians donning Santa hats, as I'm sure all of you have as well. For some reason, I've only had a few seasonal melt downs... mostly in the traffic. The stores, although crowded, were not at all horrible. In fact, this year the Dollar Tree got it down! They had plenty of cheap ass merchandise and cashiers a go-go. No waiting. Me likes. I had one of the best random holiday moments to date on that trip. So, there I was at the damn Dollar Tree, zoning out in front of some Whinnie the Pooh doo dads, when all of a sudden three beautiful black girls stroll up to my isle and one of them poses the question: "Why are we here again"? To which another replied: "Um, I forgot." Well, that was it for me. I peered at them over my glasses, and busted out laughing, which started the lot of them chortling and belly laughing too, which I'm pretty sure spread down the length of the isle. We were all just shellacked in an extra thick coating of seasonal glaze. I finally replied as they were wandering off aimlessly, "You girls sound like I feel". More laughter. I have to say, that was hands down my BEST Dollar Tree experience EVER! And to top it off, I got lots of stuff that I couldn't find in regular stores like: dollar Christmas wrapping paper, 2$ Christmas Snow Globe WITH a TRAIN inside (BONUS!!), holiday goody bags, mystery grab bags, a 1$ pairing knife, stocking stuffers galore, and oh so much more! I got out for about 25 bucks. UNbelievable! Sigh. Life is good.

In other more important news, nobody has had so much as a runny nose, much less the usual winter asthma. This is a blessing more valuable than any other. As far as we know. we and ours are in good health and of reasonably good cheer. This is highly unusual, and much appreciated.

Harley and I were folding clothes today. His job is to match and fold all the socks. I taught him how and he adores doing it. For some reason today, he got the notion to stuff ALL of the socks down his pajamas bottoms.... I am only mentioning it because it is so insanely goofy and inexplicable! So, of course, I had to take a picture, because how can you not preserve that holiday moment? I don't think it would be appropriate to post said photos, but they are quite hilarious in a twisted kind of way. Kids these days.

I'll leave you all with a holiday greeting I received from my very conservative cousin. I think it's quite funny and reaches across the table or the isle or whatever they call it. Happy Holidays ya'll!

To My Liberal Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011 but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Conservative Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

If you have a few minutes... watch this.

2010-12-10T12:51:00.000-08:00

If you're lucky, it will make you cry.
just a little

Blank

2010-12-07T05:46:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll.

There's been a whole lot to post about, but honestly I think I'm just in shock. Nothing serious, just sort of the impending holiday ADHD overwhelmed kind of shock. I cannot concentrate long enough when I'm sitting still to make any of it sound interesting or coherent even. But I figured if I didn't at least throw something up here, ya'll would abandon me for sure. That would be sad.

Ok, so here's the insanity report:

Harley is as cute as ever. His party went great. He is now 5. He told me yesterday as we were dining on egg sandwiches at Borders (3.50 for egg, spinach and cheese sand... Deal of the century!), he says,
"Mom, I have a hypothesis. I think I'm going to LOVE Kindergarten!"
God I love this kid.

My hub is having hernia surgery today. It's outpatient. It's supposed to be no big deal, but you never know. You just don't.

We acquired a litter of baby mice over the Thanksgiving holiday. Our cat killed the mama. Then, one by one, the babies were getting caught. As this happened over the course of a 24 hour period we were quite astounded and humored. Each one was discovered before kitty could put the fear of death into them... well, except one. I think she punctured it and we didn't know about it. He/she died after a few days. Anyway, the hub was really patient with me waking him in the middle of the night to go catch yet another "customer", as we affectionately refer to them. I have been meaning to call St. Francis to see if they'll take them as I just cannot bear to set them out in the cold. I know they belong there, but still. I want someone else to do it! They are cute as the dickens! They are really tiny and gray with big ears and eyes. Very sweet. I have to mention for those of you who do not know, my cat has only three legs. I find it incredible that she can hunt so well. Better in fact than when she had all four. Life is weird.

My nephew and his wife got into a bad car accident. They are ok, but her grandma was in the back seat and she died. This is very sad for us all. Grandma was very sweet, and it's all really tragic.

I'm looking for work as my feet have been dragging through the process of "building my business" It's so odd to me, because when I worked at a bar, I had NO problem with the marketing and promotion thing... it was just like inviting everyone to a huge party where you are the hostess and you know it will be great because there are endless supplies of yummy food and libations and and fun people and fine music... but this whole encouraging people to spend money on my services, sans alcohol, sans music, sans food, sans any props at all? Well, that just don't seem right. I'm clearly not as interesting or confident as when there is booze involved. Is anyone? I'm pretty confident about my bar tending skills, but I'm too old for that shit. I am.

Well, I have to go now. The Cat in the Hat Knows a lot About THAT is coming on.
Ta.

I'm sick and grouchy.

2010-11-24T04:56:00.001-08:00

That's all. Just sick and grouchy.

Hope you all are doing well.
pf

Baby Love 4-Ever,a virtual Ethridge-Curry love fest!

2010-11-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

Flux capacitor (fluks / -ka-‘pa-si-ter)

The core component of Doctor Emmett Brown’s time travelling DeLorean in the movie Back to the Future . The Flux Capacitor requires 1.21 jigawatts of power to initiate time travel. This power may either be supplied by a plutonium-powered nuclear reactor or bolt of lightning channeled directly into the flux capacitor. Brown states, "The flux capacitor is what makes time travel possible." ~

I've been blogging for almost 2 years, and been visiting Maggie at her blog, Flux Cap acitor for about that long as well. She is an amazing woman. It seems as though everything she is about is “getting it right”, (whatever “it” is in the moment) and enjoying her family and friends and giving wherever she can.

Maggie and her family are expecting a new member… very soon! Her name is Ever Elizabeth. She is expected to make her entrance sometime this month. So today, several friends are honoring Maggie and her family by way of dedicating blog posts to them. We are calling this celebration a virtual baby shower. I’m elated to finally have an opportunity to give something back to Maggie. And as a fellow Maggie-fan, I am also thrilled to help provide all Maggie’s readers, and the blog community at large this opportunity to participate in the celebration of Ever’s arrival. So without any further ado let's get this party started!!!

As most of you know, besides being a devoted wife, mother, teacher and all around bad ass, our Maggie is also an incredibly talented writer and poet. Her voice is strong and kind and true, and I'd recognize it anywhere. Her words resonate with the passion of a driven artist. One who needs to express with her words as much as she needs food or air. She can lift you up, or rip your heart out with a grapefruit spoon. Her blog includes poetry, prose and also serves as somewhat of an interactive online journal. The honesty and tenderness with which she writes has been a blessing to me in the last few years. Many of her challenges and victories are familiar, her words steady and soothe me. This is why I could not resist including some of Maggie’s poetry... This first was written for Maggie’s Mother and Grandmother Elizabeth. It is in honor of Grandmother Elizabeth, who is also Ever’s namesake.

Untitled Poem

All grips come loose.

All waves let to water.

All that is whole falls apart.

All that was Mother, Is daughter.

On your skin, my skin.

(In your breath, my own.)

With your tears, my tears.

(In your heart, my home.)

All connections disconnect.

All planets turn to dust.

All that is now becomes the past

All we love; We love so fast. ~Maggie May Ethridge

**************

This second one brings the circle back to the start… anticipating new life.

November's Child

the light around the house dims

sewn in, or sewn out. a sealed rabbit hole.

we meet the evening-tide with bright eyes.

November brings it's dusky murmurs,

some stories of gypsies and stolen children

of pots full of bone and skin.

i watch carefully the flight path of birds

across the lucid flash of sunset,

to see what they are afraid of, how they clutch black claw.

baby stills in the oblong stretch of my stomach.

rabbit in the hole, unborn in Winter's hibernation;

borne into wild compassion and thoughtless instincts-

she will always be hungry

she will always find beauty a flame on the end of the branch;

be tempted to flee with wild things, burrow her babies far away.

i am too, November infant- first wail to a darkening sky

first cries to the silent forest and flash floods of Mississippi:

responsible to nothing but the heartbeat of my mother

her breast and her hold and my wandering heart.

the eagle stretches his dark wing over the windows of home.

even at this distance, i can see how he eyes my unborn.

everyone is hungry.

everything needs, though its wilding may not speak the word.

i close the sliding glass door on the darkening world

and touch my husband's warm neck with frozen fingertips.

the light blazes from the seams of our home,

gaping at the dirt and roots

we feed our children and break bodies against one another.

this November is collecting stormfronts: a birthing is coming:

with the light spilling yellow at the corners of our mouths. ~Maggie May Ethridge

**************

And what would a party be without photos?? So yea, I swiped these from the Flux Capacitor so we can all feel extra festive and connected.

This photo of Maggie and Lola is from Maggie's actual Baby Shower last month. You can read about it here.

Mr. Curry, Lola and Maggie... The caption reads: "Lola was a flower for her end of school play. A very very energetic flower". :-)

Here are the Curry kids looking cute: Ian, Dakota and Lola

This caption reads: Uncle Carl with sleeping Jacob making peace over Mr. Curry, Dakota and Ian

I adore this picture. It belongs in the love hall of fame!

Maggie, reading your words daily for the last few years, has added such joy and richness to my life and the lives of so many others. I know this because I read the comments section :-p The way you continually reach out to your family, your community and even strangers, inspires me regularly. I love the way you soak in and experience life so fully and you care so deeply about others and the earth and life itself. Thank you for all that you do and all that you are. Thank you for helping me to appreciate more, to reach out more and to keep going even when I'm wretched and exhausted. And thank you for taking us all on your travels. I love you and appreciate you every day.

Mr. Curry, you're going be a great baby daddy. Anyone can see that. Congratulations to you!

Ian, Lola and Dakota, your little sister is very lucky to have the three of you to help care for her, and show her the ropes. Having a little sister is a great excuse to play and be silly... even if we think we're too old for that stuff. wink.

Congratulations Currys!

To continue the party please see the "OTHER PARTY ACTIVITIES" list below, and don't forget to dance on over and visit all of today's hostesses: Elizabeth, Ms Moon, Terresa, and Stephanie.

~ OTHER PARTY ACTIVITIES INCLUDE:

You can choose to read our posts and just feel the love
You can leave a beautiful wish for the Curry family at Flux Capacitor in the comment section for their memory book
You can send a gift by clicking on the BABYSRUS link upper right on this page. (It will take you right to Ever's registry list)
You can help offset the cost of early parenthood by contributing an amount comfortable for you to the BABY LOVE 4-EVER MATERNITY FUND (See the DONATE button on the upper right side of this page)
You can combine any and all of the above choices.

I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: The greatest area of support is needed in the Maternity Leave Funding. The family income will be hit hard by Maggie not working during the momma/baby bonding period. (Having gone through this myself not too long ago, I am all too familiar with the importance of this kind of support). The bonding time should be a time of love and joy, not anxiety and worry. So my hope is that the "donate" option will be a popular choice~ (major credit cards accepted) The amount does not matter... there are enough of us, and I know we can put a dent in this thing! One dollar at a time... I will keep the donate button on my blog at least through the end of the year (possibly longer), so if now is not a good time for you to participate in this way but you'd like to, don't panic. You have time.

Welcome to the world Ever Elizabeth, we can't wait to meet you.

Baby Love 4-Ever starts Monday Nov 15th!

2010-11-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

Most of you know and love Maggie May Ethridge from Flux Capacitor. She is a tender heart, a wife, mother, teacher, friend and to say she is a talented writer is an egregious understatementy. Today is her birthday. Happy Birthday Maggie! I am so happy you were born and that you are here being and doing all that you are. As we are wishing Maggie a happy birthday, we are also preparing for another celebration... A cyber baby shower!

You may have noticed I've added a few elements to my layout here at PF's place. I've added a paypal "donate" button and also a link to Baby'srUs. These are just two of the ways I and others in blogland will be honoring our friend Maggie and her family this coming Monday, Nov. 15th.

We (Elizabeth, Terresa, Ms Moon, Steph and myself) are throwing a Cyber shower love fest for the Curry Family and all of you are invited! You are invited to participate in any way you'd like, and there are many ways that you can do this~ YOU CAN:

You can choose to read one or all of our posts and just feel the love
You can leave a beautiful wish for the Curry family in the comment section for their memory book
You can send a gift by clicking on the BABYSRUS link upper right on this page. (It will take you right to Ever's registry list)
You can help offset the cost of early parenthood by contributing an amount comfortable for you to the BABY LOVE 4-EVER MATERNITY FUND (See the DONATE button on the upper right side of this page)
You can write your own post in honor of family inspired joy and include it in our 4 Ever Curry Love Fest! And please let me know by leaving me a comment here, so I can let others know who and where you are in time for Monday..
You can combine any and all of the above choices....!!

The greatest area of support is needed in the Maternity Leave Funding. The family income will be hit hard by Maggie not working during the momma/baby bonding period. (Having gone through this myself not too long ago, I am all too familiar with the importance of this kind of support). The bonding time should be a time of love and joy, not anxiety and worry. So my hope is that the "donate" option will be a popular choice~ The amount does not matter... there are enough of us, and I know we can put a dent in this thing! One dollar at a time...

This cyber fiesta is going to be loads of fun! I love babies and children of all ages, and family, and giving, and reading, and writing, and interacting with others who love those things too! I especially love to read what others write about their experiences, stories and anecdotes about family. It reminds me that the world is mostly a wonderful place... that we really are all the same at the core, and it restores my emotional and spiritual set points to the happy place again. I hope it does that for you too.

See you all Monday... No RSVP needed :-) Please remember to visit all of us party throwers :Elizabeth, Terresa, Ms Moon Steph They are the real writers! I promise you, they are magnificent. They are true jewels and pure joy to read. And who knows, maybe by then one or more of you will want to write a dedication post! See you then!

YOO HOO! (An encounter with my brother's ghost)

2010-10-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

I recently took a poll to see what anyone wanted to hear about on my blog since I am mostly dazed and confused and cannot concentrate worth a damn lately. The overwhelming majority of you wanted to hear the story about my brother's ghost. So, I will tell it. It does need a little background for it to have the full impact, so I'll give that to you briefly. Also, I did email many people in my family about it the night it happened because I couldn't sleep. Since it is a really strong part of the punch for me, I left it in there. I colored the text purple so that it wouldn't be too confusing what with changing voices and all... I thought it would make more sense to you that way. Also, I changed most of the names in the story except my brother's. (Not that it matters, but...) Ok, so here goes...

BACKSTORY-- .My family has been semi famous in certain circles for a very long time... Not so much anymore because all of the famous ones have died and not many people remember them anymore, unless you go to S. Florida. My dad was a musician. He and my uncle had a musical comedy trio that toured for years and some TV shows like, the Mike Douglas show and etc... WAAAY back in the day. They finally settled in S FL to raise their fams and quit touring. They were quite the big deal in Miami Beach for years. Oddly I googled them one evening because I was missing them, and I found a blog post about one of their albums and re-posted it HERE on my blog back in May. --- I have 3 brothers. One of whom passed away from pancreatic cancer back in '99. I moved back down to S FL at that time to help him through the chemo and to be closer to him. Ray was also VERY famous or infamous however you see it, in S. FL because he wrote for the Ft. Lauderdale News for decades. He started out in sports, then entertainment and finally did a LifeStyle column 3 days a week. He was well loved and when he became sick, we could hardly keep up with all the mail and notices of prayer circles and well wishes and stories of how his writing has helped in some way or has been a big part of (insert person)'s life for so many years, ect...Ok, that's the short version, but it's enough to make the story I'm about to tell you make sense.

Now, more recently, my husband, Marc, got a job with our local PD's office. He adores it. It is a laid back department and most, if not all of the people who work there are VERY liberal, like minded and super cool. (Lots of old hippies, you get the picture?) The people who work at this office have a tradition of getting together once a month on the Friday just prior to payday, they call it Final Friday (As you may recall, I recent'y blogged about that too: FINAL FRIDAY). It's a family affair, and it is also where I felt my brother's presence. This is where the actual story takes place.

FLASH FORWARD TO THE FF PARTY: Not long after we arrived, I moved outside to the porch area and took a seat. Griffin was playing with other kiddos, Marc was talking (I know, shocker!) and I was just enjoying the background noises and a cold beer on my own. Most of the others people were migrating through the porch area between smoking outside, and going inside to munch or get cooled off So, I'm sitting there, when this family arrives. One of the attorneys, we'll call her Bonnie, brought her parents. Her mom walked onto the porch drinking a Yoo Hoo.... As soon as I saw the Yoo Hoo bottle, I could hear my brother Ray saying "I could really suck the balls off a Yoo hoo right now"! (He said this when he was undergoing chemo for Pancreatic cancer in '99) I sort of snickered to myself at this memory, because, well, it was so classic Ray... Anyway, the lady, who we will call Martha, sat in the chair nearest me, Yoo hoo in hand, so naturally we struck up a conversation.

I thought about saying how my brother used to like those... or whatever, but I didn't want explain that my brother was deceased and go through all that stuff, I mean, we just met. So I just said something like Wow, Yoo hoo, don't see those much anymore. I used to love that stuff"! We chatted about Yoo hoo for a while, then we moved on to other topics. She and her hub are travelling the US in their car, so they have lots of great stories about quirky stuff they've seen and great food they've eaten along the way. While we're chatting away, and Martha's daughter, Bonnie, (the attorney), comes by and tells us of a "dress malfunction" she's just had. I won't go into it, but it was kind of funny... reminded me of times it's happened to me... All of a sudden Bonnie looks over at me and she says, "Did you used to work at CABO'S? (A local restaurant) "Yes I did I said. Followed by my usueal apology: "Please tell me I wasn't mean to you! I was in a very bad mood for about 10 years once and I could be pretty grouchy back then". She says: "No no no, I get it now, you're Ray Recchi's sister"! I was like HOLY SHIT! in my mind anyway... How does Cabo's equate with being Ray's sister? And who in the hell was she and how did she know this??? Hmmmmmm...? So, she tells me that her brother Michael used to be good friends with my nephew (Ray's son), and they were in gifted together... Wow, I know most of my nephew's friends, but I'm not coming up with a Micheal... I racked my pea brain trying to think of who this kid was/is, and I could NOT for the life of me remember him. sigh.

So, of course they asked about Joe and the rest of the fam, etc... then Martha told me that she raised her children as a single parent, and that she really appreciated the way Ray took an interest in Micheal.. and that he was really good to him. She was tearing up as she said this. Martha, Pat's hub and Tracey all expressed to me how much they loved Ray and missed him. Yea, me too. ME TOO! They began to look at me differently, like I was some one really dear and special, like an old friend they just recognized. It was sort of sweet.

So, as per usual, I get home, and I'm lying in bed thinking about the whole thing and how odd it all was.... and it hit me... she was talking about MIKE!!! DOH! I can't believe I didn't put that together, Micheal/Mike, but I did not. So, I feel a little badly that they think I don't remember Mike, because I so do! I'm just dull with connecting the dots somehow.

Now, you must realize that I come from pretty pragmatic stock, science is king kind of thing. There's been really no belief, religion or talk about anything that cannot be proven scientifically... but over the years, I've changed. I do believe that God/the Universe AND the dead are real and they do speak to us... or they speak anyway. Only they use symbols or pictures/images, like the subconscious,. This makes the "Yoohoo" really important in my book. There were many cosmic messages for me from that little encounter.... and I thought there maybe one or two for some of you also. Maybe for you, the message is just "YOO HOO"! or "Hello, I'm thinking of you" or maybe it is deeper. It's always very individual. One of the messages that I always get when someone remembers Ray or my dad or the uncs is: "Remember who you are, where you come from and the people you are part of, whose blood runs in your veins too". This is always an especially good message when I'm feeling insignificant and unmotivated or need to cowboy up. It makes me remember all the intense passion and fire, and smarts and tenacity, and creativity and talent that runs in our family. How fully they lived and still do...and what a strong impact they made in the lives of others. Suddenly I feel a surge of energy running through me, and I'm proud to be me and part of them, and this, and you.

The thing is that I don't think the message was just for me. It was coming through me, or to me, to take what I need and to pass on to everyone else so they can get what they need. So, take whatever you want from it, but if nothing else, Ray told me to give everyone a big"YOOHOO"!!!!!!!!!!

Too many things

2010-10-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

I've known for years that I should carry around a tape recorder. Just a little one that I can use to record my thoughts and ideas as they occur to me. I did for a few days once, but I'm short on discipline and probably a little insane. (You know, "doing the same behaviors and expecting a different result" thing.) I get all these feelings and thoughts about all manner of topics, I'd like to express or speak out about or muse about or rant about or simply share or get feedback about... but it seems that life just travels too quickly for me.

I'm an oddball. A late in life child, my mind caught between nostalgia and cultural/familial closeness of years gone by, juxtaposed with the surrealism and insane pace of living now. A gypsy trapped in suburbia. That is the best way I can describe it.

I do get these fabulous ideas for projects and social evolution... acorns of wisdom whiz at me from the Oaks, konking me in the head, or through the silver thread of dreams or when I'm driving or listening to my son prattle about something. Times when there is no pen or paper at hand. And so, I forget. This is nothing new. My kind have been doing this since we wore bones in our hair, that doesn't make it any less frustrating.

Well, the same goes for my posting. I have a laundry list of subjects, events, anecdotes, adventures, happenings, ideas, etc... that I've wanted to post about. Only, at the end of the day, I'm tired, and/or I've forgotten, or I'm sick or I realize I haven't actually spoken more than 3 words to my own husband in days.... and then it gets pushed back near the bottom of the list again. Then, time goes on, more stuff occurs that I want to write about, but when I find the time, I'm too clogged up with thoughts to flush anything out. My brain shuts down and, more frustration.

So, this post is a list about what I want to post about. If there is anything that appeals to you, please leave a note in the comments and I will get to those first. By writing things down, I will not forget. By not having to choose now, I buy myself some more time. By getting feedback, I get more fun out of it and hopefully you get to hear about what you prefer. Win - win?

Ok, here's my list:

Harleyisms
Visitation from my brother's ghost
Child mental health scare
Getting my business going AKA Getting out of my way

---LIST TIME OUT.... See, now I'm going blank again.. This is so UN-FAIR!!

-----LIST RESUMED-----

Gospel according to Judas
Gospel according to Mary (Magdelene)
Joseph Campbell, Ram Dass and Carl Jung
Funky dreams about the center.
Prayer mantraing and prayerful meditation
What's up with all the dead Fox and Owls?
The Great Turtle Rescue!
Garage Sale Madness

There are more, but this is it for now. Please let me know if any of these appeal more than the others.

Cheers..... and thanks for all the fish.

Retraction

2010-10-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

In my last post I called the party a First Friday party. In reality it is called Final Friday.

I feel like a small wrong has been made right now.

I had a sort of oddball synchronistic experience there.... I've been meaning to post about it, but I've not been in the mood, and now I'm sick.

I will though. I will. Eventually.
Ah choo!

First Friday

2010-10-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why, but this clip cracks me up.

Why did I post it? Well, I will tell you. The fam is attending it's first office party for Marc's new job at the local PD's office this evening. I'm sure it will not be nearly as whimsy and exciting as this clip, but it will be WAY more fun than the office parties I remember from the local Alcohol and Drug Abuse Association that I used to work for. (DAMN! Those were some BORING parties) I get bored just thinking about them. Anyway, this will be the closest I've come to an office party in over 5 years.

Fortunately I know many of the people Marc works with because he worked with a handful of them at his last real job, investing capital cases for the State. Anyway, they are a lively and liberal group so I am actually looking forward to it, and since I have nothing else of note to say at the moment, I'm saying this.

It's funny that if you Google First Friday you will get many links to different cities promoting their local art and art districts with a monthly celebration. The reason this party is named First Friday is because it's when the State workers get paid. They feel that this is worth celebrating... I do too! I also think it's cool that they do this each month at a different person's house and that occasionally they even get a few wanderers from the DA's office! That is very encouraging!

It's good to stay cohesive and celebrate the little things, the good things or just getting together because you can. I think it's also great office policy. People who party together, STICK together! They pretty much have to don't they? I mean they know too damn much about each other not to...

Life, ain't it grand?

The Cravings Truck...

2010-09-29T06:27:00.000-07:00

There is a lovely young couple in the panhandle area who have started a business that I found to be quirkily and deliciously different. When I say young, I mean VERY young... like 20's young.

I met them at a downtown farmer's market. I had just eaten a huge vegetarian meal from the local Vegan Krishna vendor and was stuffed! But I saw that truck, with the words "Red Velvet Waffles" painted on the side... how could I refuse? So I trotted over to order some, and unfortunately, they could not oblige. It seemed that they had everything else BUT those. They were mostly just getting out there so people would know who they were. Since I really was stuffed, it was probably a good thing. :-)

So, I chatted with the lady whose name I cannot recall, and she told me all about their plans for the business. It's really smart and yummy, and hip and cutting edge. They have this beautiful kitchy truck (really no pun intended) and very very fun and creative menu items, some of which are secret family recipes! I love that. There is a small kitchen like area where they whip up their yummy wares and they travel around the city selling them. The really cool thing is with today's technology you can find them on twitter or the internet, so you know exactly where they are going to be and when! There is even a map provided with the route if you want it! I think this is so fabulous.

Visit their website, check out the menu and see what I mean: The Cravings Truck

Good luck to you guys~ I'll see you next Sat....I've been dreaming of those Red Velvets Waffles!

Blogger Blues. :-(

2010-09-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll,

I cannot get Blogger to upload any photos. I'm thinking it could be my Google Chrome needs an update, but I was just wondering if anyone else had this issue...? I know lots of people, myself included have been having trouble with other Blogger components like the commenting, so it may just be Blogger...?

Any suggestions appreciated!
Thanks,
pf

Respecting Mother... Every day.

2010-09-22T06:01:00.000-07:00

"Mother Earth, you are my life support system.

As your child, I drink your blue water, live inside your red clay and eat your green skin.

Help me to balance myself as you hold and balance the Earth, the sea and the space environments.

Help me to open my heart knowing the universe will feed me.

I pray my boots will always kiss your face and my footsteps match your heartbeat.

Carry my body through space and time.

You are my connection to the universe and all that comes after.

I am yours and you are mine.

I salute you."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That was a prayer/mantra/morning greeting to our mother. I first heard it in "Men Who Stare at Goats" I did change one part in the beginning. I took out the word soldier and replaced it with child.

Honestly, I think it is the true Hail Mary.

Namaste ya'll.

C'mon, laugh at my fears...!

2010-09-20T05:41:00.000-07:00

I came across this video and it made me face in a goofy way why I am dragging my feet on launching my new business fully... or at all. The reason being, I'm afraid this will will be the male version of my services. Watch and laugh your ass off! (Or just shake your head in disbelief. Whatever.)

Life Coaching by Mario...Quit Being Such a Fruit! - watch more funny videos

Men Who Stare at Goats

2010-09-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

This movie tickled my funny bone, and as whacky as it is, I'll bet the truth is even stranger. Two big toes UP!
PS The whole cast is great, but Jeff, well, he takes the cake!

Happy Birthday Danielle!

2010-09-11T13:56:00.000-07:00

Wishing you a genuinely silly and fun filled birthday, and everything grand for your future!

Love you, pf

Love this!

2010-09-07T05:31:00.000-07:00

I found this on another Blog and I think it's my most favorite version of this song next to Harley's school singing it all together. Have a great week ya'll!

The worst memorial day weekend EVER

2010-09-06T07:21:00.000-07:00

We are all sick here at Chez Levi. We are sleep deprived and cranky. Harley was running a fever and is coughing non stop because I guess Fall has arrived in Tally. (He gets asthma at the change of seasons, like clockwork) So whether or not it's consistent or official or whatever, I know FALL has fallen. Poor little guy.

Hub and I fought and made up yesterday. Besides Harley's asthma, we all have a bug. At the end of the night last night, hub and I were discussing what we had hoped to do this memorial day having so much time off together.... Then he said it:

"This is the worst memorial day weekend EVER!"

We both just cracked up laughing.

Hoping yours is better.
pf

Our new favorite show... and other antics

2010-08-23T16:53:00.000-07:00

and it does not even premiere till Sept 6th!

Harley is already hooked on this show. We have viewed every sneak peak video on the PBS site... This weekend we played a game called the cat family wherein I am the mommy cat and he is the baby. He hides under a blanket, which is his egg. I sit on him (not really), and then he hatches. I was informed that he had a little kitchen in his egg which consisted of an oven and a sink, and some food. He made himself kitty kibbles, wet food and saucers of milk. He also drank lots of water because, you know, it's good for you.

Another little unrelated quirk that has us entertained lately is that Harley has picked up on a saying that I sort of resurrected lately. I had a work partner that used to get so tickled at himself when he would call somebody a "Fish eyed FOO"! (Like Fred Sanford used to call Aunt Esther...) Then we'd start cracking S&S jokes and reminiscing about all the fun characters. (My fave is Grady) But anyway Ahem, as I was saying, I said it for some reason lately and Harley latched on to it.

If there is anything funnier than a 4 year old saying "Fish eyed FOO"! with the perfect Ebonic inflection, I'm not sure what it is.

Have fun out there.

Stoned me just like Jelly Roll

2010-08-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

Morrison, in 1985, related the song to a quasi-mystical childhood experience:
I suppose I was about twelve years old. We used to go to a place called Ballystockart to fish. We stopped in the village on the way up to this place and I went to this little stone house, and there was an old man there with dark weather-beaten skin, and we asked him if he had any water. He gave us some water which he said he'd got from the stream. We drank some and everything seemed to stop for me. Time stood still. For five minutes everything was really quiet and I was in this 'other dimension'. That's what the song is about.

During this song Morrison sings: "...Stoned me just like Jelly Roll. And it stoned me."

That lyric is thought to be a reference to jazz musicianJelly Roll Morton, whose

recordings Morrison listened to with his father as he was growing up.

I know what Van is talking about....

This Tuesday, Harley, my 4 year old, said the inevitable during a particularly intense temper tantrum.

"I don't love you ANY-MORE!"

I knew it was coming, someday, but it still stoned me. My offending behavior, turning off the television before Word World because we had somewhere to be.

Then yesterday, as I'm puttering around the kitchen, this conversation takes place:

H--"Mommy, you look old".

Me-- "Really? How so"?

H-- "Well, it's not your skin, it's more on the inside".

Me--"Oh".

H--"Well, mommy, it's only because you ARE old"!

Me--"Yes, I am... but I'm not THAT old"!

H--"Well, you're not a kid mom".

Me--"That's true... I'm not. What about grandma, does she look old too"?

H--- giggling-- "No!"

And there you have it. I may be old, hated and stoned to the bone, but not, as yet, in the way.
Some weeks you take what you can get.

The Universe Speaks...

2010-08-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

...And for once, I am listening.

I have been wanting to post about this for some time, only the words and the time never seem to coincide with my plans. I wanted to make this a well thought out piece because it deserves that kind of attention, and yet, my life requires me to live in the now, so I don't have that luxury.... but irony's good too, no?

First I want to tell a story about a friend of mine, who I have only known a little over a year, and never met in person. I always believed that our paths were meant to cross, now in hind-sight, I know it. Like many of us, we met on the internet. Her name is Jenny, and she has helped me to change my life in such a profound way, I can't imagine my life without her in it anymore. While I know there are millions of stories out there about this kind of phenomenon, this one is mine

The most incredible part of it, well, besides all of it...is that we met in a very bizarre, happenstance manner. Or was it? The way we met was through this short little post: Dexter Mania that I almost DID NOT write back in July of last year. The post was not even two paragraphs long, and if I had not posted it, I may never have crossed paths with Jenny, which I can't even fathom. How strange the universe is? I mean, (For those of you who are not acquainted with the Showtime series Dexter, it's about the life of a serial killer). Much of it happens in the first person wherein you get to hear Dexter's thoughts as the story unfolds. I think that this was a big part of our mutual fascination with the show... that, and it is extremely well done.

So, Jenny comments on this post, and she invites me to her blog about.... Dexter! (Which I still go back and read now and then, it's that good!) We are both fascinated with human behavior and the mind, and we both find it important to consciously strive at furthering our respective personal evolutionary processes. Neither of us likes or condones violence... much, and yet we are both rather obsessed with this show about a serial killer! Maybe this is not as strange to anyone else, as it is to me, or as unlikely anyway.

After visiting her blog, and her visiting mine, we became pen pals. I knew by the way she expressed herself in words so beautifully and purposefully, (which by extension is the way her mind works also) that she was extraordinary. Then we began skyping and sending photos and etc and really getting to know one another. During this time is when she re-introduced me to the idea of Life Coaching, among other things. We talked and talked and wrote and wrote. She was so intuitive and supportive of my interest in Life Coaching that I finally was able to break through the brick wall, which is my head, to see Life Coaching as reality for me. I began to relax and loosen. I began to give myself permission to change and to grow and to do something I wanted. Nobody else. No matter how uncomfortable it was for me or anyone else, I knew it was what I wanted. I knew I could be good at it, and then I saw it. I saw myself being very very good at it. (futuristically speaking.) The potential is there, and although nobody in my family would likely ever approve of it, I was going to do this. Which, at 47, should not be such a big deal I suppose, and yet, it was. Jenny helped me figure that one out too! (Thank you J.)

I talked my hub into heaping yet MORE debt on our already hefty credit card balances so that I could get certified. This was not as hard as I thought it would be considering. He could see I was committed to it, and at this point, another thousand clams or so wasn't going to keep us from bankruptcy, if that was our destiny... That is what we came to anyway. So, I did it, I got my paper and I was FREE!! Free to get my business license that is. And so I did that. And all through out this process I was being supported by both Marc and Jenny. They kept me sane, kept me moving and even volunteered to be Guinea pigs for my coaching homework assignments... All along the way the universe has been whispering, and doors have been opening. Things that I thought would be so hard, were not nearly as hard in practice, as they were in my head. And it continues at my own pace....

I originally wanted to begin my business asap.,as in this summer. However, Harley is still on summer break, so I decided to wait... As serendipity would have it, without really even trying, I got my very first professional gig about a week ago~ It was scheduled (not by me!) for Sept 1st, right after school starts! AND then.... in the interim, the hub gets a great new job, so the urgency to begin was lifted right around the same time anyway.... Perfect!

The Universe is still speaking, and I am perched on the edge of my chair!

...To be continued.

For SB: Rod's rod and Willie's willie.

2010-08-11T06:22:00.000-07:00

I was sent the below information and photo yesterday in an email, and thought about posting it.... Then when I saw your post about Rod today, I knew I HAD TO!

So, now the question is, is it better to retire your wormrodpeckerwillie before you outlive it, or what? It sounds like a problem that may be best left for aging musicians to ponder! :-)

Willie Nelson commenting on his 75th Birthday... Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words of a deep thinker. So simple, yet so profound. Only a man with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life.

"I have outlived my pecker."

I spy things that never end...

2010-08-10T06:39:00.000-07:00

I spy a road.

I spy the sky.

I spy grass.

I spy numbers.

I spy railroad tracks.

I spy outer space.

I spy the wind

I spy trees.

I spy love.

Pump up the volume

2010-08-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

This is Harley's new favorite song.

He sings it throughout the day and when we are driving, I'm instructed to please put "Way UP" on repeat... Who is this kid? I mean, yes we expose him to what we believe to be good music, art, ideas, etc... but it doesn't mean he has to like it, or to respond to it as he does. He is as obsessed or more with this song as I was the first time I heard it.

One day this week, I was instructed to please take out the "Steve Songs" CD (Mr. Steve is a PBS kid's star)and put in the Dean Martin CD.... Oh LORD! He used to also do this with his compilation CD: featuring Dylan, the Beatles, Cake, Keb Mo, Harry Conick, etc... so this is not entirely new. However, by instructing me to take out the kid icon CD, Mr. Steve, and replace it with the Dean Martin CD was unprecedented! (He adores Mr. Steve~)

Yesterday, we spent the whole day swimming at a public pool. Griffin went from singing an old Dean Martin standard, "Dance with me" to "Way UP!" Nobody around us knew what he/we were singing, but we did. And our glee was uncontainable. We finally cooled off (it's been rather hot in these parts) and were able to do it OUTside! The only way it could have been better is if they sold ice cream. They do not.

.If you have a few minutes, watch this clip. It's the ending to the Divine Ya Ya movie, and it's precious.

I sometimes get a little wistful wondering how many other kids would love these kinds of songs and keep them alive, and sew a thread from our shared artistic/cultural history to our present... and future. And if it will happen..? I hope so.

Hallelujah! Sela!, Glory BE! AND AMEN!!!

2010-08-05T13:22:00.000-07:00

Legal Analyst

The legal team that fought to save California's Proposition 8 from history's scrap heap practically dared U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker to rule against the 2008 ballot initiative that banned same-sex marriage in the Golden State.

Led by attorney Charles Cooper, who stumbled and bumbled his way through closing arguments, these defenders of "traditional" marriage presented virtually no evidence to support their case during the months-long trial in San Francisco. Instead, they kept telling the veteran judge that legal standards and precedents were so clear and unambiguously in their favor that virtually no set of facts could support the arguments offered by their prime-time opponents, Ted Olson and David Boies, who led the fight to ban the ban on same-sex marriage.

But federal judges don't buckle to dares. And they rarely rush to endorse litigants who fail to present plausible (much less compelling) cases in their courtrooms. So for those of you just now tuning back in to this unfolding legal drama, Walker's landmark136-page ruling Wednesday is not nearly as surprising as you might think. As he suggested he would during closing arguments, the judge, an appointee of the first President George Bush, wholly rejected the dubious rope-a-dope strategy employed by Cooper and Company. Indeed, if the trial and the ruling were a boxing match it would have been an early TKO.

It is hard to overstate the significance of the ruling. For the first time in the nation's history, a federal judge has identified a right under both the equal protection and due process clauses of the federal Constitution that precludes a state from banning same-sex marriages. Just six years after Massachusetts charted its own course and recognized same-sex marriage on a state level, the matter is now squarely before the nation's judiciary. Within a decade the whole matter might be resolved. And all those people (like me) who blasted the dream team of Boies and Olson for rushing into this case before America was ready for it now are left to wonder what they missed.

Walker's opinion was detailed, intense and relentless in its rejection of the arguments offered by proponents of Proposition 8. For example, the crucial "findings of fact" contained in the ruling roll on for more than 40 pages; a paean to the dogged work of Boies and Olson and a vitiation of many of the beliefs and prejudices held by so many in and out of California when it comes to same-sex marriage. During the trial, Walker practically begged and cajoled the Prop 8 lawyers to do better for their cause. He asked them written questions to draw them out. He scolded them during closing arguments to make more persuasive arguments. They simply didn't or couldn't or wouldn't respond. And so, based on the evidence at trial, Judge Walker found:

1. "Individuals do not generally choose their sexual orientation. No credible evidence supports a finding that an individual may, through conscious decision, therapeutic intervention or any other method, change his or her sexual orientation."

2. "California has no interest in asking gays and lesbians to change their sexual orientation or in reducing the number of gays and lesbians in California."

3. "Same-sex couples are identical to opposite-sex couples in the characteristics relevant to the ability to form successful marital unions. Like opposite-sex couples, same-sex couples have happy, satisfying relationships and form deep emotional bonds and strong commitments to their partners."

4. "Marrying a person of the opposite sex is an unrealistic option for gay and lesbian individuals."

5. "The availability of domestic partnership does not provide gays and lesbians with a status equivalent to marriage because the cultural meaning of marriage and its associated benefits are intentionally withheld from same-sex couples in domestic partnerships."

6. "Permitting same-sex couples to marry will not affect the number of opposite-sex couples who marry, divorce, cohabit, have children outside of marriage or otherwise affect the stability of opposite-sex marriages."

7. "Proposition 8 places the force of law behind stigmas against gays and lesbians, including: gays and lesbians do not have intimate relationships similar to heterosexual couples; gays and lesbians are not as good as heterosexuals; and gay and lesbian relationships do not deserve the full recognition of society."

8. "Proposition 8 increases costs and decreases wealth for same sex couples because of increased tax burdens, decreased availability of health insurance and higher transactions costs to secure rights and obligations typically associated with marriage."

9. "Proposition 8 singles out gays and lesbians and legitimates their unequal treatment. Proposition 8 perpetuates the stereotype that gays and lesbians are incapable of forming long-term loving relationships and that gays and lesbians are not good parents."

10. "The gender of a child's parent is not a factor in a child's adjustment. The sexual orientation of an individual does not determine whether that individual can be a good parent. Children raised by gay or lesbian parents are as likely as children raised by heterosexual parents to be healthy, successful and well-adjusted."

Even if the appellate courts ultimately find that Walker got his legal analysis wrong, they cannot wash away what same-sex marriage proponents surely will call these 10 "points of light." Based upon those findings -- based upon the utter lack of a rebuttal by opponents of same-sex marriage -- Walker concluded that Prop 8 was so blatantly unconstitutional that it could not pass muster under any of the relevant legal standards that judges routinely apply in these cases -- even the one called "rational basis," which is a very low bar indeed. This was a rout, in other words, and there is virtually nothing in the language of Walker's ruling that suggests otherwise.

As most judges do in these sorts of situations, Walker immediately stayed the effect of his ruling pending an appeal. Soon the dispute will move to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals where the Prop 8 lawyers will try to convince the appellate judges that Walker wrongly applied the factual record to existing legal precedent. I suppose it's possible that the 9th Circuit will overturn the ruling. But if it does, it will be forced to largely discount the testimony and conclusions of dozens of witnesses presented by opponents of Prop 8 while enlarging beyond all recognition the impact of the two -- and only two -- witnesses presented by Cooper and his team. It's clear what Walker thought of those defense witnesses; he ruled in his order that the testimony of one of them, Don Blankenhorn, was so inapt and contradictory that it was rendered inadmissible. You don't see that every day in a high-profile case in federal court.

Based upon Walker's factual findings, therefore, there may not be enough factual bedrock for the 9th Circuit to grab on to even if its judges are inclined to reinstate Prop 8. And the same goes for the U.S. Supreme Court. In any event, playing possum in a case of this magnitude -- laying in wait for the conservative Supreme Court to save the day -- is certainly not a risk most sensible litigators would have taken.

This is true especially since a high court ruling -- if and when it comes one day -- will almost certainly be determined by the sole remaining Californian on the court, Justice Anthony Kennedy, who always seems to cast the fifth and deciding vote in social cases like this. Like every other judge who now will look at this record, he will scratch his head and wonder: Where did Prop 8's case go? And how and why should it be rescued at this late hour?

Indeed, it is unclear and nearly unfathomable today why Prop 8's supporters would have been and remained so confident in Justice Kennedy's jurisprudence to have ceded so much ground at trial to their opponents. It is inconceivable that they would not have even attempted (much less succeeded) in rebutting the many strong facts and arguments offered by same-sex marriage proponents, who saw Prop 8 as an unlawful exercise of majority rule. Perhaps Cooper and Company will have more answers now than they had during the trial. Perhaps not.

Yes, I'm POSITIVE!

2010-07-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

If you have never seen the Stuart Smalley movie, I highly recommend it. I laughed myself to tears. I have to admit, it was so long ago, there is a good chance I was high when I saw it.

Nevertheless, I adore Al Frankin, and I love the fact that he's both educated AND smart, and that he did smart people comedy before he went into politics. Not a combo that I would normally favor, but he is an original and it works for him. But I digress. As much as I love Al AND Stuart, they are just my intro to a post about positive thinking, and what I, well, think of it.

For me it is not so black and white making a decision about how I will choose to discern my thoughts and prospectives. I had to chew on it for a while. Read a lot, think a lot, read some more, experiment some and observe different personalities and how their attitudes helped or hurt their ability to navigate their lives in what appeared to be a fulfilling and joyful manner. Needless to say, this took a while. There were many conflicts which had to be cleared up for me involving positive thinking, and what it actually meant before I could hop on board. Does it mean to just grin and bear it? Does it mean to ignore reality and live in a happy illusion bubble? (I find this particularly disturbing and a little too close to denial for me) Does it mean to just focus on upbeat people and situations? Does it mean faking it? (I don't know if anyone remembers, but about 10 years ago some study was supposedly proving that people who smiled even though they were miserable were contracting all sorts of diseases because on a cellular level their bodies were as confused as their minds!) To me, that meant that if you have negative or toxic feelings, that you need to expel them in some way... (Talk it out, exercise, hit a pillow, scream, whatever) Keeping those emotions tucked away or unrecognized, is to make yourself physically ill from stress build up... This isn't positive... all the same, I felt there was something to all this positive thinking stuff... and I was right..

I'll share what PT means to me, just keep in mind I've pulled from many sources, situations and experiences so there may be a lot of ideas that are not original. What I'm hoping is to package and present these ideas, theories and experiences in an original way, for myself as much as anyone else. So here goes.

Natural events that happen on this planet, or indeed anywhere are neutral in meaning, but do possess a charge of some kind, positive, negative or neutral. What gives any event or experience meaning is our interpretation of it. If everything and everyone possess both a positive charge, (aka light), as well as a negative charge, aka(shadow), then the amount of positive vs the amount of negative charge will determine the overall charge that thing/person emits....(positive, negative or neutral). This is why sometimes a person can make the hair on the back of your neck stand up just being near them, and alternatively why people can attract each other from across a room.

So we all have a choice to make. The choice is 'where would we like to direct our focus with regard to outside stimuli?", and "what do we want emit/attract?". In most every situation we can generally discern the negative parts and the positive parts, then choose which part(s) we'd like to focus on. This is not always as easy as it sounds because most of us are programmed to have certain ideas and agendas, and if the outside stimuli doesn't fit into the confines of those ideas or agendas then there is the default setting of feeling negatively about it automatically. For instance, you are meeting someone for a business lunch and you get rained on. You can make the best of it and find the humor in it, or you can get upset because you feel silly being all wet. You're choice.

Of course I'm simplifying, but in most situations there is this inherent choice. I don't think that any of us are equipped to see that choice in all or even most situations because we have emotions and agendas, and that's ok...BUT... we CAN learn to see the choice in more situations than we are used to, if we loosen up and stay conscious. I am in the process of reprogramming my thinking (the process by which I interpret outside stimuli) in hopes that the more I practice, the more positive changes will happen in my brain chemistry, which will help me emit more positive energy, which in turn will allow me to feel better, do better and live better.

CHEERS ya'll!
And remember: You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it people like you!

Owed to joy

2010-07-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

This was going to be a "that was then, this is now" photo post of Harley and how much he's grown since I blinked my eyes... but alas, our photos files are too large to upload and I have to fix em, and since I'm a little fuzzy on that, it will have to wait... but I'm not agitated... not today.

THIS post is announcing my newest mission in life: Consciously seeking joy. Not chasing it, just staying open to recognizing and experiencing it whenever and where ever possible.

I made a startling discovery about 4 and a half years ago, at the ripe old age of 42. I discovered that I had not truly felt or experienced true joy since sometime in my childhood. In fact I was so shut off to it, that it seemed to me, like anyone who appeared to be experiencing it was either mental or faking it... or, of course a child. Pretty sad. BUT... The good news is that I finally woke up! I know that it really does exist and I've felt nostalgic waves of it since Harley's birth.

Now, I am trying to keep my eyes out for other truly joyful moments and experiences. And I'm staying aware of that fact. I'll let you know how it goes.

May we all be bathed in joy! ... PS This last photo is for you SB. :-P

Does she look like Ms Moon's Jessie or what??

2010-07-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

A little more make up than Jessie wears, but still a stunning likeness.

This was the only picture I could find of Jessie with her hair cut on short notice... It's a great vid, so enjoy!

I am both tickled and a trifle disturbed.

2010-07-07T14:11:00.001-07:00

Harley has his first cartoon crush....

(For those of you who like to sing along...)

Word up. It’s Wordgirl.

Word up. It’s Wordgirl.

Flying at the speed of sound, Vocabulary that astounds, From the planet Lexicon, Watch out villiains…….. here she comes!

When faced with a catastrophy We need a living dictionary, Her superior intellect Keeps the crime world in check. Go girl!

Huggy Face is by her side, Vocabulary a mile wide. She'll make sure that crime won’t pay And throw some mighty words your way.

Word up. It’s Wordgirl.

Word up! From the planet Lexicon, watch out villains, here she comes!

Yea, I know, I think too much, but the level of his obsession with this character is right up there with full blown addiction! And believe me, as an ex bartender, I know from addiction ya'll.

Then there is the idea that if you are going to be addicted to something, to my way of thinking, an educational show that revolves around words and their usage and that features great music and contains good quality life lessons.... is healthier than any addiction I've been known to have.

One thing I'm not sure about yet, is it sometimes catches me off guard with the hidden humor... like one of the titles: "A Hero, a Thief, a Store and It's Owner" ... if you've ever watched "The Cook, the Thief, his wife and her Lover", you'd understand that while this is hilarious on the one hand... it has a very darkly slanted origin for a kid show title! However, in order to have even heard of the movie, you have to be a certain kind of seeker/questioner and lover of film... and that appeals to me.

Here is brief synopsis of the movie:The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover is a 1989 French/British romantic crime drama written and directed by Peter Greenaway, starring Richard Bohringer, Michael Gambon, Helen Mirren, and Alan Howard in the titular roles. The film's graphic scatological, violent andnude scenes, as well as its lavish cinematography and formalism were noted at the time of its release.

Anyway, I'm mostly just babbling now. I feel I just have to purge these things once in a while because I am sort of a secondary obsesser once removed. Not by choice, but by the mere fact that I live under the same roof with a full fledged WG addict. I have to find a way to live with our new affliction...

to get the damn song OUT of my head, ( it's what I hear all day because Harley sings it!),
to try to be patient with the obsessive asking if it's "4 o'clock yet" beginning at oh, 10am...
to deal with the frustration of having to make a WG action figure for him because they don't sell the damn things ANYWHERE! (Ah Jojo, HELP!) I don't know NOTHIN bout makin' no damn action figures!
to gently tell him for the 900th time to "step away from the screen or you'll hurt your eyes".
to allow his affliction without it becoming mine... (NO enabling please!)

So, does anyone know if there exists a 12 step program for the addictions of the sons? :-)

It's great to have groovy neighbors!

2010-07-03T16:24:00.000-07:00

In a long ago post entitled: I've been crying all day, that must be why I have so many watermelons, I tell the tale of how my good neighbors who grow things, share them with us on a regular basis. In that particular post, I got double sharing because I sort of had a mini nervous breakdown in front of one of my good neighbor's by accident. He sells home grown produce and was compelled to leave me a melon. (No charge) Word spreads fast in these parts, so it wasn't too long (mere hours) before another neighbor and his wife felt we needed still more watermelon healing, and left another melon, as large as the first one.... Then by Jove, yet another one appeared not long after the second one!! Sounds made up right? It's not. Sounds funny right? It actually works though! How can you stay blue when your neighbors are drowning you in melons?? (Food is love, right?) Well, it is in these parts anyway. So, I was lifted and cheered at all the watermelon love got that day.

If you're a watermelon lover, we actually have a festival wherein we pay homage to this most refreshing and generous summertime delicacy. Seriously, I've posted about it before. It's called the Monticello Watermelon Festival or something like that. If you care to, you can read about that here. (It's not nearly as surly as the Rocky Mountain Oyster Festival, which you can read about here. It's just good sweaty Florida fun?) Oh well, the hat is tipping to my favorite blogging barrister, the infamous, White Rabbit. Who, if he wanted to, could easily get a job in comedy too! But I digress.

This post is about neither watermelons, nor festivals... it is about groovy neighbors. Ok~ so, I come home today to my first watermelon "drive-bye" of the season. This is a custom where somebody brings you by a melon and your not home, so they leave it as a surprise on your back steps... Just waiting to greet you when you get home. (see above)

Harley and I had just returned home from a shopping stint at the Organo shopping co-op. (Where I got to taste REALLY GOOD organic pale ale... that shit is strong! And it was poured by none other than Mr. Billy, of BOH fame.) Anyway, we (Harley and I) are going to a BBQ pool party tomorrow and I'm in charge of the fruit salad you see. Therefore, I bought 3, count 'em 3 melons: One mini watermelon aka "sugar baby", one ginormous Cantaloupe and one not so ginormous Honey dew melon. So as I mentioned, we came home only to find the first 2010 "drive-bye" melon, a biggun' at that...(much like the one pictured above) It was lovingly perched next to a "Vote for so and so for County Commission" door hanging and a pencil to match. The door hanging had a red magic marker exclamation point on it! Funny, no? Ok now, while I am feeling so much love and am tickled beyond words, I have no place to put this bad boy. My fridge is one of those way too cramped side by sides. (sigh). Today was all about the melons I guess. :-) When in doubt, call Ms Moon, another sweet neighbor, to ask if she would like the melon. (They are always partying across the fence dontcha know!) Not really, they just have a large family who love each other so they tend to have more foot traffic at their place. But nope, not this weekend, and they already have a baddass melon of their own! Good Lord, what are the chances??! Pretty good, I guess...BUT... THEN she says, "Hey, why don't you just put it in our extra fridge in the garage?" Which is affectionately referred to as the garagemahal. Yes, they have a name for their garage, and if you've ever seen it, you'll know why. The homeless could find shelter in that thing... and food too! I KNOW there is a post about the GMH over at BOH somewhere.. Anyway, so yay! Problem solved. And, if the Moons manage to blow through their melon or if any of the kids need one, they have one. It is likely I'll forget about it... It's just the damn community melon now. Just plain out of my hands... All I know is, one neighbor gave me a beautiful melon, & another is refrigerating it for me!

How cool is that? Cool, very, very cool.

I'm just happy it is not going to waste away on my counter.

Ms Moon is always giving us home made goodies like zuppa, home grown veggies, fresh eggs and etc... Not to mention she helped usher Harley into the world... Need I say more?

I also have other good neighbors. The across the street neighbors occasionally give Harley groovy hand me down clothes and toys, the daddy fixed Harley's guitar when he snapped the neck off walking through a doorway with it, (daddy's a musician), and one of their kid's even cut our grass once... AND...they've invited us to swim in their fancy pool! Then I have more neighbors, catty corner cross the street, that are awesome too! They have also become good friends of ours. Their daughter feeds our kitty and loves on her when we are away. She also babysits for Harley sometimes and he adores her. Sometimes we go over to play and she is so great with him it almost makes me cry. So, I am surrounded by coolness AND grooviness on all sides... I LOVE that! And am so grateful for it. And not just because what they do for us/with us... It's because of who they are. They're real and they're caring, and because of who we all are, we feel like part of a larger family. A real community. Like when I was growing up. I can't express what a comfort & joy it is.

It's very important, having good neighbors. (especially in the country) Not many people luck into a situation like we have, and I am fully aware of that fact. There is so much more I could say about all of these fun-tabulous characters, but I am going to have to break this up, like with the vacation post... Too much. Thanks neighbors, we sure do love you, and appreciate you.

Have some blessings, and pass the melon will ya?
Happy 4th to all. xo pf

Oh SMOKE!

2010-07-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

That's all I have to say... just like the little red caboose!

I hate all the dam phoning and texting addiction.

2010-06-29T12:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry ya'll, but it's too prevalent.

People walking around like Zombies. In the mall, on the street, at the park. Kids, mommies, daddies and grands. Phoning and texting and NOT being in the moment.... NOT being here now. NOT looking where the fuck they are walking or driving... NOT caring. Just fixed on their fix... fixating, fixated and transfixed.

I wonder when the war on phone zombies will be waged, and what will be the damage?

View of sunset from the back porch

2010-06-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

The image really says it all. This is what we saw every evening that we were in Jackson CA. Well, except the moon was slightly larger each time. I was going to post many a fun photo from our western excursion, however I am having tech difficulties. (The explanation I got is that our camera is high res and that the picture files have to be downsized before being able to be loaded on to Blogger... This is a somewhat cumbersome process, so till I find a better solution, the other pix will have to wait. Suggestions welcome!)

We began in Oregon in a lovely town called Talent. I'm not sure if the name of the town attracted talented people, or if it was named that because of all the talented people drawn to it, but it is packed with artists and talent of all kinds. It is very small town and we could walk everywhere unless we were going into Ashland. In fact, we got a foot tour of the whole place in less than a half an our!! The mountains and trees and streams in this area are spectacular. The air crisp and the sun warm, but NOTHING like FL. In the shade, it was actually cool! And the nights got down into the 50's. I could get used to that.

At this point I MUST mention that I got one of the greatest cups of coffee I've EVER had in this town. The place is called Downtowne Coffee Shoppe. (See link for review) The coffee I ordered had a clever name, which I can't think of at the moment, but I'll use Miinted Chocolate for the sake of calling it something... Now, I'm not a fru fru coffee chick, but something told me to go a little off the board in this place and I'm glad I did. The coffee is organic and freshly ground, of course! BUT... here's the thing, they steamed REAL mint leaves to go into the coffee!! And it WAS NOT TOO DAMN SWEET!! It was without a doubt the most perfect coffee I've ever tasted. I want to tell ya chilluns, it was divinity in a go cup!

I will post a few photos of the Oregon leg on this post and then break up the rest of our adventure because I've just decided it's too much for one post. Ok, so the best part of our stay was meeting/visiting with my aunt and uncle. It's the hub's mom's bro, and his wife, Uncle Pete and Aunt Anita. Uncle Pete is an artist in the truest sense of the word and his pieces and his process reflect that. Pete and I had several great talks about philosophy, art and traditional healers and etc.... We saw a lot of his newer pieces hanging in their home and we also visited a few shows he's participating in in Ahsland. Harley even got to name a few of his pieces. He's a great namer! Aunt Anita is also unbelievably talented. Her specialty is cooking. Oh my GOD can this woman cook and bake! I don't remember exactly what we had, I just know it was incredible... and we had real fresh whipped cream and fruit for our waffles (Pete made the waffles), but Aunt Anita did everything else in the cooking department. Our first meal there was an incredible fish dish with a yummy apple cake (from scratch) for dessert. Anita was great to talk to also. I learned a lot about the family from her and got to know HER some which was really cool. And she enjoys the occasional smoke, like I do, so we'd slip off together to smoke on her front porch and talk and watch the world go by. It was heavenly.

Their house is old. Very old, like ours. Actually, it's older. It is a really beautiful space and they have kept in much better condition than we've managed to keep ours... sigh. We really enjoyed being in the space they created and with them for two days. We visited a beautiful park in Ashland while we were there and the trees are just so tall and magnificent, it's humbling just being in their presence. Well, many of them are Redwoods, so... awe is to be expected, no?

So, good family time, good eats, good coffee, good wine, good scenery, good time!

Uncle Pete about to squirt whip cream in Harley's mouth. It's part of the Infidel Series...

Uncle Pete, Aunt Anita, PF and Harley. This was just before Harley drank from the Lithium water fountain.... Lord help us, he liked it.

Harry Potter enjoying what was left of the whipping cream.

JUMP START LIFE COACHING LLC is OFFICIAL!!! (Well, almost)

2010-06-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I promised I would post about our fabulous adventure out west next, but that is going to take some thinking and this is exciting news for me, and it takes no thought at all! I have FINALLY registered for my LLC license and can begin doing business as a certified Life Coach starting July 1!! I'm so excited!!!

I have no website, I have not organized my literature or blog, I have no clients, I have no business bank account, but dammit I have begun this process which has been daunting for me and I feel like an emotional block has been overcome, the cyst has been removed and my life and aspirations may flow freely at last!! I'm sure there will be many more obstacles in the future, but I think this may have been the biggest one. It took all of five minutes to complete the online application, however, it took me about 6 months to actually revisit the Florida Division of Corporations website to do this. Why is it that every big move I make has to be preempted by long adjustment/ mind shift period?? Actually, I know the answer, it's just a frustrating part of my character. I did the same thing with College and moving into the "daytime" workforce. Both happened kicking ans screaming and definitely at "my own pace". But they did happen. And it's happening now.

YIPPIE CAIYAY!!!!!!!!

I do have an official business email account and needless to say, if anyone wants coaching, feel free to email me at: jumpstartlifecoach@gmail.com (BTW, I did try to make that email name shorter, but all the ones I wanted were taken.)

Today I am happy, excited, hopeful and a little overwhelmed at the work ahead. It's a good mixture of feelings, and although I still have no earthly idea how I am going to shift gears and make time to do all the business-y type stuff I need to, I'm trying to keep faith that somehow the path will evolve and rise to meet me.

Have yourselves a beautiful hump day!

Narcolepsy Hotline

2010-06-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

Please hold the line and we'll be with you when we wake...

Well, we've been home since Weds, and I still feel like the walking dead. I think maybe middle age has not so much crept up on me as "assailed me, impaled me, with monster truck force!"

All I know is we were gone for 10 days (That was 3 days ago), and I'm still in a fog. Really, is this normal? I sort of feel like maybe it's my "new normal", but then I start to think that maybe my Lyme has returned or I'm dying of cancer or something.

I know I'm just being a drama queen, but it's my way of working through stuff and lots of times it amuses me. I sometimes feel like I'm watching my life on a movie screen and shouting rude comments from the cheap seats. Throwing popcorn at the screen and belching loud enough to be heard in the front row. (I did that once at the Vampire Lestat movie) You know the one with Brad Pitt and some other actors? Anyway, it was so bad, and I was drunk and out of control. I was calling the characters unsavory names and doing my level best to beam them with my Juju Bees. Thankfully I was with dear and most importantly, tolerant friends who managed to hustle me out before things got real ugly.

So, as I was saying, it's process.

The west coast post is still simmering, but not soup yet. Please stay tuned...

WHOA.

2010-06-17T13:38:00.000-07:00

Life has been going by really too quickly and most of it illicits the same feelings as this picture. I don't know which side I am on or if I am on land or at sea. It's just all one big hot confusing mess. I am not in ANY kind of mental or emotional distress, just in suspended wonder and anticipation/anxiety... wondering when a moment of stillness will present itself. Or maybe a slowing down of the roller coaster.

Or maybe this is just the pace of life now..?

We are back from our west coast journey and it was a fun and fabulous adventure, but not so much relaxing. I will post pictures and tell some of the tale because it was quite lovely. The west is so enchanting and glorious in many many ways. I'm not sure what the hell we are still doing in the southeast, but I am aiming to put all of my energy into summoning up the recourses to change that. I have worn myself out down here in the swampy south. There are many things I love about this place, but it is not ans has never felt like my "home". The place where my heart, soul and body feel at ease. That is the way I feel when I am in the west. To make it even more extra motivating is that my husband's asthma is almost non existent and I am guessing that Harley's will be much improved as well.

I am just popping in to say a real post is in the works. Right now, I'm too focused on catching my breath and keeping the trippy flashbacks at bay! (And those are not bad flashbacks at all, just not feeling life as it is. A surrealness that can only be described in terms of riding the Magic Mushroom Train.)

Choo choo!

Death in the family.

2010-06-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

I've been dealt a pretty hard blow and I am taking some time for myself. I'll be back and maybe even blog about it at some point, just can't do it yet.

I'll still be visiting, just not posting much for a while.
Peace,
pf

Proof that truth REALLY IS stranger than fiction.

2010-05-23T14:26:00.000-07:00

Will Kevin Costner Save Us All?

By now, more than 650,000 gallons of chemical dispersant have gone into the Gulf of Mexico to try to break up the oil. But after giving BP the go-ahead to use the chemical, and to inject it undersea, the Environmental Protection Agencychanged course yesterday and demanded that BP switch to a less toxic dispersant. From the EPA statement:

While the dispersant BP has been using is on the Agency’s approved list, BP is using this dispersant in unprecedented volumes and, last week, began using it underwater at the source of the leak – a procedure that has never been tried before. Because of its use in unprecedented volumes and because much is unknown about the underwater use of dispersants, EPA wants to ensure BP is using the least toxic product authorized for use.

EPA gave BP until today to pick an alternative, and then another 72 hours after that to begin using the alternative in the Gulf. A couple weeks ago we covered the concernthat Corexit—the dispersant BP has been using all along—could have toxic side effects, and that a less toxic (and possibly more effective) alternative could be available. With the EPA order, BP is finally moving in that direction.

U.S. Polychemical of Spring Valley, N.Y., which makes a dispersant called Dispersit SPC 1000, said Thursday morning that it had received an order from BP and would increase its production to 20,000 gallons a day in the next few days, and eventually to as much as 60,000 gallons a day [The New York Times].

The pressure came on the EPA to change its dispersant rules after the use of Corexit, manufactured by Nalco, came under fire in Congress.

BP’s dispersant of choice was a hot topic during a House Transportation and Infrastructure hearing Wednesday, as lawmakers repeatedly challenged the company’s decision to go with Corexit. Several questioned whether corporate ties between BP and Nalco prompted the choice. Nalco’s board of directors includes Daniel Sanders, the former president of Exxon Mobil Corp., and Rodney Chase, a nearly four-decade veteran of BP [Houston Chronicle].

Meanwhile, as BP’s solutions to stopping the leak and cleaning up the spill continue to struggle, a new savior has stepped up: Kevin Costner. Yes, the prince of thieves and builder of cornfield baseball stadiums is, in real life, an avid environmentalist, fisherman, and greentech entrepreneur. While making Waterworld in 1995, Costner was troubled by oil spills like the Exxon Valdez and started developing a system to cruise the surface of the sea and clean oily water. His business partner, John Houghtaling, says:

“The machines are essentially like big vacuum cleaners, which sit on barges and suck up oily water and spin it around at high speed,” Houghtaling said. “On one side, it spits out pure oil, which can be recovered. The other side spits out 99% pure water” [Los Angeles Times].

BP and the U.S. Coast Guard plan to test six of the massive devices next week.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

2010-05-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

The Richie Brothers Bottoms Up!More one liners and insults than you can shake a schtick at...

The Evil Pain Clown review:

Here's a record i picked up in edmonton this month, at a goodwill, it's kind of like a dirty version of laugh it up with ray and rick...now it's not really really dirty, more double entendres then anything, and some great oneliners, there are three brothers but two of them do all the talking, of course one is the straight man, while the other is the brother from hell...really really funny, now since this albums is from the early sixties, the comedy is topical for the time, there are some moments of "political incorrectness", and lots of "commie" talk but all in all a pretty funny disk...enjoy!

Ok, I'm back. Me, PF. This album is one of my dad and his brothers'. I found this post one night while Googling "The Richie Brothers", never thinking I'd find anything. (Thanks to White Rabbit for reminding me to "borrow" this post this and Thanks to the Evil Pain Clown for actually posting it!)

This music, the humor and the outrageousness is what I grew up with. It was all normal, and it still comforts me to listen to it. I really miss the music and the food, the laughing, the booze, the coffee and pastries...and even the fighting and making up. All three of them, my dad and his brothers are all gone now, and they took a good chunk of magic with them.

Harley's Head

2010-05-20T19:22:00.000-07:00

(In response to very close/loud thunder) "That scared me right out of my underpants!! Only, I'm not wearing underpants, just my fast pants." (Fast pants are his special pj pants which make him very very fast.)

"If you don't do what I say, I will yell! Just like YOU DO"!!! (sigh)

"Now I have 2 invisible friends".

"Mom, you need to take a deep breath".

"Will it be my birthday again soon"?

I think Jo may be Johnny's real mentor...

2010-05-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

Our boy Johnny takes a bite outa crime...
Read all about it.

Ah, btw, I didn't Snopes this. So if it's not true, why then we are all left with a seriously weird/fun visual.